old age has its advantages:
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
9. You can live without sex (but not without glasses).
10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with the elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
.
2007-03-25 13:02:50 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
true true
2007-03-25 13:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
DON"T GET ME STARTED.
Those are funny.
And here are some more. You're X-Ray pictures flatter you.
I used to eat natural foods until I learned that most people died of natural causes.
My knees go out more than I do.
When I'm down on my hands and knees, I ask my wife if I can find any thing for her while I'm down there.
They're 2 kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the dead.
When ever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world look weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prosac to make it
normal.
Old people are like slinkies.They're not much good for any thing, but you can't helping laughing when we fall down stairs.
Being old is when you finally find you're car keys in you're purse, but then you can't find you're car.
you're driver's license photo look better than you.
The most often word you use in a conversation is "huh"?
I'm like Jimmy Duranty, I've got a million of them , but I had better stop for now.
2007-03-25 20:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Jackolantern 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are right, I am an elderly person and many of those
things that you mention apply to me.
2007-03-25 20:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, that's an awesome joke! Have to share that with my friends! Keep it up!
2007-03-25 20:34:53 · answer #4 · answered by JZune 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my goddd pleease i woould love to be your friend please i mean you are like a genius that iv never heard since i finally met you my life just changed for the moments you put jokes so we could enjoy them.i just love people who are nice to me and everyone.PLEASE TELL US SOME OTHER JOKES PLEASE=) 100/100
2007-03-25 20:34:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A great one. Describes me to a #T.
2007-03-25 20:07:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny! Nice one! 10! lol!
2007-03-25 20:32:06 · answer #7 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, those are really good.
I actually laughed out loud.
2007-03-25 20:07:20 · answer #8 · answered by Wolfpack 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
umm. should i kill myself before i reach the age of 18?...
cuz your giving me ideas.
2007-03-25 20:08:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Haha! That's a good one.
2007-03-25 20:05:40 · answer #10 · answered by Prayer Warrior 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
haha
thats funny
u made my day enjoyable
2007-03-25 20:09:51 · answer #11 · answered by Shaniqua 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋