At which point should I tell someone I am interested in or dating that I am celibate? I have chosen this path for non-religious reasons. I am confident with myself. However, I feel uneasy with the dating scene because of this and I am not comfortable dating. Maybe, because..I meet the wrong type of men? I believe in honesty..but is there being to honest?
Any suggestions would be welcome,
Sincerly, Female in her late 20's.
2007-03-25 12:18:23 · 12 answers · asked by tlc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why are you celibate, are u hot?
2007-03-25 12:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by Zorro 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Interesting question. I honestly thought I would wait until marriage to have sex, but I realized that I didn't even know why I was waiting. I lost my virginity to a guy that I loved and I truly have no regrets. I completely understand that it's different for everyone. Whether it's religiously-based or not, it will still impose problems when you try to date. I think that you shouldn't tell them immediately (like in the first few sentences of your date), especially when the topic of sexual relations hasn't cross your minds. Wait a bit and when intimacy comes up, let them know what your values are. You can also ease them into it instead of just saying "I am celibate."
It also depends on if you're waiting for marriage or not. Some guys can understand that if it has to do with marriage, but others are ignorant or have different values. If you're thinking about not having any sexual relations ever, then you'll need to let them know as soon as you can.
The situation is very subjective. It also depends on the guy you are dating. Some guys don't value sex at all and see it as a pleasure-driven activity. Others make love and those are the ones you should go for. Of course, it's hard to tell what type of guy you are dating. You'll just need to trust your instincts.
You're already on the right track with the honesty part. I know you'll find someone.
Good luck.
2007-03-25 12:21:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, I think that you should treat it as a small no issue. Thus bringing it up as a small conversation piece when the conversation goes that way is a good idea. You don't want to make it a big issue, then it makes it easier to judge the reponse of your partner.
Sex should not be a big deal to most people and anyone that really loves you or sees the benefit of being with you without should be able to handle themselves.
However, eventually you will have to have a serious conversation about limits where you talk about how far you are willing to go. If they ever try to cross those lines then they are showing disrespect for your beliefs and goals. You also do not want to give them mixed signals by going too far.
2007-03-25 12:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell a guy on the first date. If you think dating someone is getting serious, then have a talk and let them know that you are celibate and why. I am sure some guys will have a problem with it, a good man won't mind waiting.
2007-03-25 12:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest up front. I've dated women that I told I was celibate and some were cool with it and others tried to cope and ended up breaking it off. For me it was about a connection. I didn't want to just sleep with every girl I happened across and some saw me waiting as rejection. I found one that waited it out and when the time was right we proceeded. I have no regrets for my choices.
2007-03-25 12:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by Inquiring mind 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be proud of your decision especialy in an age where young ladies give their most precious assett away like it was a worthless scrap of paper. I would, as a man, want you to be honest and up front with me right at the start, I think any man that can respect your decision and continue to date you from that point on is what you are looking for anyway.
2007-03-25 12:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just date a few times then when they ask you for a sleep over tell them the truth. If they are still interested then they will call you back, and if they only want one thing then the better for you if they never call. Take your time you will find the right person I did, and I have been married for 26 years, this is what you call weeding them out.
2007-03-25 12:25:36 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you tell them "I'm interested in you but I'm celibate" what do you think they would say... see how this doesn't make sense. ok if they're not interested in you don't tell them anything. they'll come to you and that's when you say "sorry in this season of my life I'm celibate" mmmkya but don't go telling guys you like them but you're celibate because as of right now they don't care.
2007-03-25 12:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by Suya 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my daughter is 19 & has chosen to be celibate - she calls it her "man fast" she has found being honest with a guy friend of hers has made them enjoy a friendship more in their relationship without the pressures of sex - be honest from the beginning
2007-03-25 12:23:38 · answer #9 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until you think that it might become more than just dating and actually become a serious relationship. If the guy that you are with can not respect your decision than you do not need to be with that person anyway. Any guy that you are with should respect your choices.
2007-03-25 12:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by vixenangel_ia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋