I feel very ignored by my boyfriend, he is so busy?

Question

with fulltime school and work. He seems to think that studying together or just eating dinner is good enough for "quality time."
His sister came and visited this weekend and he spent 3 whole days with her, doing fun things and taking her to nice restuarants/shopping etc. (even resturants which over the year has been "our" place)
Maybe i'm being a bit irrational, because he only sees her for a week twice a year, but he rarely (maybe once a month) spends a whole day or even half a day doing "fun" things with me. Its always just sitting at home, eating, studying whatever. He gets mad at me when I suggest that he is too busy and that i feel neglected. He thinks I am being needy but I think I deserve to be able to spend more time with him doing things other than working and eating. The first 2 or 3 months we dated it was so much fun, lots of things like what he is doing now with his sister. I am rather jealous of her for his attention. Am I being unreasonable? What should i do?

Answer 1

You shouldn't let us tell you that you are being unreasonable. Tell him that it bothers you that you aren't spending the kind of time together that you want. I had to do that with my last girlfriend. Since I couldn't change the fact that she was busy all the time, I bit the bullet and told her how I felt and said that I thought she was too busy for a boyfriend and that I was sorry, but we should just be friends.

Answer 2

I know how you feel girl, the same thing with my bf! My bf and I dont live in the same area, so the only way for us to talk is by phone. Ive been feeling ignored by him because he doesnt tall me anymore because he says he's busy with full time school and work. We only talk basically once a month now. And I have to call him now, he never calls me. He'll return the favor back only when I call him.

Anyway, I think you should be glad that you are able to spend time to eat dinner together and study together. I dont even get to do any of that with my bf! It doesnt necessarily have to be fun when you guys spend time together. He's a busy guy, so understand that he wont have time to spend with you all the time. So, give him the space he needs. The beginning of the relationship is always the best because he's trying to impress you to like him, so he's always doing fun things with you before. Now its different, he thinks you are okay with him spending less time with you, since he thought you would understand that he's busy now. The only reason I think he's spending quality time with his sister is because he's never seen her for a very long time. Just stop worrying about it, its not like he's cheating on you with his sister or another girl.

It seems you are very clingy to your bf. You need to learn to get a life of your own and stop thinking about him too much. You need to focus more on your studies and things you need to do, rather than thinking about your bf all the time. Ive eventually started thinking less about my bf to make me not feel depressed when I learned he's busy and cant talk to me so much. I started to focus on what I need to do and stopped thinking about him all the time. Its not going to help if you keep on thinking about him too much because you keep on having negative thoughts about him.

If you really feel all this is bothering you a lot, tell him about this and maybe break up with him because you cant handle a relationship without enough physical attention.

Answer 3

See the first 2 -3 months he was trying to impress you .. but now he is comfortable... you have to apply more pressure on him , tell him that you enjoyed it when you guys went out and you want to at least go somewhere fun the whole day together at least 2x a month , Ask him to fit you into his schedule or else.. you will have fun days with someone who wants to show me the attention..

Answer 4

My girlfriend's daughter is in a similar relationship...she is miserable, and she has had 2 kids, while waiting for it to get better...we feel sorry for her, but can't say anything...it's her life, and her choice. Anyone can be nice for a few months, it's the long term habits that will eat at you...and if he is waking up with thoughts of work and study, and none of making your day better, them perhaps you need to start looking for someone who will make you a priority in his life.

Answer 5

Its times like this that you have to support him. Hes trying to better himself at least he isnt a lazy bum. Bare with it why dont you try and initiate little romantic things like a quick romantic dinner just before he buries his nose in the books. As for his sister it does sound unfair (Ive had the sister battles with my husband for years) understand that especially if she's younger than him hes just bonding with her it shouldnt make you jealous next time ask if you can tag along and try and build a friendship with her (I know its hard sometimes)

Answer 6

Well I think u need to spend some time away.
Like spending time with your mom or any best friend
faraway.But not far from your school.I think after a long
time when u get back he will treated u like his sister.
I know he is busy but after that he will have some time
to spend with you.

Answer 7

Oh i have the exact same problem with my boyfriend. Are you always there when he needs you or stuff like that? coz if you are maybe thats whats causing it. coz with my bf ive learned that when i make him miss me a lot or try just ignoring him then he becomes really sweet and worried about me. Just show him you dont need him and your busy too [ dont overdo it tho ]

Answer 8

he's going to school full time, working & studying - what are you doing for yourself? maybe he's tired of you whinning about his lack of attention - find some friends & things to do on your own. your significant other can't be everything - enjoying doing things without him will make you enjoy the time you have together more.

Answer 9

let him go for a while and you go out and enjoy life then hook back up with him when he gets some free time. There is no proof that he will stay once he get finished with all of his studies.

Answer 10

tell him look i know she is your sis but damn im your gf id like to do something w/ you other than study and eating dinner why cant we go out sometime. if this dont wrk tell him how important his goals are to you but you dont think there is any point in being together if you aint ever really together