I have asked this guestion before, but felt it needed to have more details. I have a friend that has a 17 year old daughter and a 12 and 8 year old. The kids live with thier mom and she is a working mom. Since the oldest has been 14 she is required to care for the younger ones after school for abou 2-3 hours and start if not finish the dinner. She is paid a nominal amount. Yes she has been doing this for three years, but this is a single mom and for now the sole supporter of the family. I think that is somewhat normal for the days we live in now. Many parents have to rely on the older ones. My friend thinks his daughter is being taken advantage of and that she is the real parent. I would like to hear what others think. Before making comments on his ability to help or pay, I will say he is rather ill and in no shape for either.
2007-03-25 12:05:42 · 8 answers · asked by princesskahlua2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Family members should pitch in and help when needed. Its what being a family is all about. In the old days kids did way more than they do now helping out.
It wont hurt her and it will prepare her for the time she has her own household to look after whether she works or not.
2007-03-25 12:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have three children, ages 13, 11, & 9. My husband passed away in September and instantly over night I became a single mother.
I am lucky because my job for the most part is why the children are in school,but they ocassionally need to be watched by their 13 year old sibling.
Unfortunately in this day and age there are a lot more single family homes than ever before. Widows and divorcee's alike.
For the working class who are just trying to meet the bills they have no choice but to depend upon the eldest to help out with the younger ones.
Speaking for my self I can say that my coldest child watches the youngest to about twice a week, I could probably use her help more but I feel guilty about the two days. It is not easy being a single parent and for the other parent when the child does have two, sick our not, to sit back and complain that his oldest child is having to much responsibility, maybe he should volunteer to watch his children so his child doesn't need to.
2007-03-25 12:34:50 · answer #2 · answered by Marla D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A older sibling should never be forced to watch younger siblings, especially if the parents were off doing something else. If they were asked to watch that is a whole differs story.
2016-03-29 04:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, to an extent. in this situation, since the mother is the sole income provider, she probably cannot afford to pay someone to come into the home to babysit while she works, so she has to rely on the eldest child to help. at least she gives her a little something because may older children get nothing for watching the younger ones, because it is expected. while it may seem unfair to your friend (who really doesn't provide a solution or assistance), it is a learning experience for the eldest child and i'm sure a relief for mom that she has a child responsible enough that she can rely on. for a working mother, that is a great comfort and better than trying to trust a stranger or a friend.
2007-03-25 12:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by loving 40+ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone in a family has responsibilities that help to make their family life run smoothly. Even in two-parent families, the older siblings are usually expected to look after the younger ones. Then, just as importantly, as the younger ones become older, they should be expected to take on more of their sister's current responsibilities.
A major goal for a parent is to raise their children such that they become responsible adults. It sounds as if this mother is already doing that - and she is to be commended for her strong parenting skills.
2007-03-25 12:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by MomBear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is, it cost alot for a sitter and hard enough for a single mother. It is easy for the ex to look in and say that,but what if the shoe was on his foot. Sorry to hear he is ill,but if he cannot help the situation in any manor,then he should not be judging. On that thaught,the children are old enough to stay with him for the 2 to 3 hours a day.
2007-03-25 12:18:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i had to watch my sister starting at 10 years old...
ALL familys do this
it's not unusual
tell your friend that this is NOT taking advantage of this 17 year old, its teaching her RESPONSIBILITY... i think a lot of kids now dont know what that means
2007-03-25 12:11:22 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if a family is strong has good communication a family will do what it has to do.
What is right for one family is may not be for another.
As long as its works y fix it.
2007-03-25 12:39:20 · answer #8 · answered by SARAH D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋