heyo! i need a clean, unperverted, hilarious joke pweeese!???

Answer 1

A pirate walks into a bar and he's got a steering wheel sticking out of the fly of his pants. The bartender hollers over to him "Hey, Mr. Pirate, did you know you have a STEERING WHEEL sticking out of your pants?
The pirate says "AAAARRRRRRRRR...." It's driving
me nuts.

Answer 2

The Lord God and the Archangel Gabriel were going to play a round of golf.Gabriel turns to the Lord and says,"Lord,since you're the Supreme Being,then why don't you go first"? So the Lord set up his shot and takes a swing.
The ball goes flying thru the air but it seemed to fall short of the green. Suddenly out of the clouds,a bald eagle appeared ,grabbed the ball and threw it towards the green. But the wind took it and it fell into the lake. Just then a frog appeared and with it's long tongue grabbed the ball and tossed it towards the green.
The ball landed near an ant pile and one on the ants walked away from the colony and started pushing the ball towards the cup. It pushed,and pushed,and pushed until finally the ball fell in.
The Archangel Gabriel turned to the Lord and asked,"Hey,are you going to play some golf or just fool around"?

Did you hear about this new movie called"Pirates of the Carribbean:Dead Mans Chest"?
I hear it's rated,AARRRR!

Answer 3

1. Money is not everything. SO, There's MasterCard & Visa.
2. One should love animals. BECAUSE They are so tasty.
3. Save water. AND Shower with your friend.
4. Love thy neighbor. BUT don't get caught.
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. AND behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
6. Every man should marry. BECAUSE After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
7. A successful man is one who can earn more than his wife can spend. AND A Successful woman is one who can find such a man.
8. Wiseman never marry. AND when they marry they become otherwise
9. Success is a relative term. BECAUSE It brings so many relatives.
10. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Answer 4

Two blondes are walking through the woods looking for the perfect Christmas tree, after about an hour and a half one of the girls says to the other...I'm taking the next tree I see, whether it has ornaments or not.

Answer 5

FIRST JOKE

A blonde, brunette and a redhead were very poor, so they decided to rob a barn (EH? But anyway). The owner of the barn saw them sneak in, so he called the police. When the blonde, brunette and the redhead heard the sirens, they quickly hid in large sacks. The policeman came over and kicked the first sack, with the brunette in it. "WOOF WOOF!" Said the brunette. The policeman thought to himself, "Must be a dog." He went over to the second sack with the redhead in it, and kicked it. "MEOW MEOW!" Said the redhead. The policeman thought to himself, "Must be a cat." He went over to the third sack with the blonde in it, and kicked it. "Potatoes," cried the blonde. Needless to say, they were all arrested.

SECOND JOKE

Three blondes went into a bar and ordered a round of drinks. "What's the occassion?" asked the barman. "Well," said one blonde excitedly, "we just finished a puzzle in a year, and on the box it said 3 to 5 years!"

Answer 6

three guys are lost in the desert, and they come across a Magician with a giant slide, the Magician tells them slide down my magic slide and yell out whatever you want to drink on the way down and when you get to the bottom you will land in a giant glass of it. The first guy goes down, and he yells out Beer!!!! and when he gets to the bottom , sure enough he lands in a giant glass of beer, The second guy says, I'm not much of a drinker, so he goes down and yells out, Lemonade!!, and he lands in a giant glass of lemonade, Then its the third guys turn, so he starts to slide down the slide, and yells out Weeeee!!!!

Answer 7

Purina eating ordinary the day till now as we communicate i grew to become into at my interior sight great industry figuring out to purchase a extensive bag of Purina canines Chow for my liked Afghan Hound, Sissy. i grew to become into in the checkout line whilst the lady in the back of me asked if I had a canines. What did she think of I had, an elephant? So for the reason that i'm retired and function little to do, on impulse I informed her that no, i did not have a canines, i grew to become into beginning the Purina eating ordinary returned. I extra that I in all risk shouldn't, because of the fact i finished up in the medical institution final time, yet that i could lost 50 kilos till now I awoke in an in intensity care ward with tubes popping out of maximum of my orifices and IVs in the two arms. I informed her that it grew to become into truly a desirable eating ordinary and that the way that it works is to load your pants wallet with Purina nuggets and easily consume one or 2 every time you sense hungry. The nutrition is nutritionally complete so it works nicely and that i grew to become into going to objective it returned. (I would desire to point right here that very nearly all and sundry in line grew to become into now enthralled with my tale.) Horrified, she asked if i finished up in in intensity care because of the fact the canines nutrition poisoned me. I informed her no, I stepped off a cut all the way down to smell an Irish Setter's butt and a automobile hit us the two. i concept the guy in the back of her grew to become into going to have a heart assault he grew to become into guffawing so confusing. nutrition Lion won't enable me keep there anymore. extra advantageous watch what you ask retired human beings. they have each and all of the time in the international to think of of loopy issues to assert. __._,_.___

Answer 8

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

Answer 9

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the deer how it was done...

Answer 10

Those don't exist anymore.