i have 3 daughters 17y,18y 26y,my goal in life is there happiness,without interfearing as a mum how do i do it

Question

without them kiowing,as they are my life and love

Answer 1

As a mother I can fully understand. However here comes reality. You ARE NOT and CAN NOT be responsible for your childrens happiness once they are adults. Only your daughters know what will make them happy and like the rest of us they will find out by making their own mistakes and getting hurt and trying again. The best thing you can do is be there for your daughters emotionally without the "I told you so's" and love and support them through everything. Realize that interfering will only make them resentful and rebel. Good Luck its not easy!

Answer 2

Don't try to mold them. Let them learn things on their own and just be there when they ask or need your help. Always offer your assistance but don't push it on them.

You might want to consider having goals other than their happiness as well. That sort of ties your happiness to theirs and that they appear to all be grown ups, they are most likely going to experience unhappiness that you cannot control...so find something else to be happy about along with them being happy.

Answer 3

If you love them - then you MUST TRUST them - I have three daughters and they have had their ups and downs but - that is all part of life - you cannot live their lives for them - you have to trust that they will know to and do the right things - make the right choices for themselves - it is not your call.
Mother's have a very hard job - and we all have to learn to LET GO - we have lived out lives - they must make their choices - hopefully the right ones FOR THEM! Not you.
Be there for them - and give them UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Hope this helps.
Good Luck
Jacqueline O

Answer 4

mom to mom, my daughters tug at my heartstrings too. keeping your eyes and ears open to their actions, habits, conversations, happiness and pains. being intuitive, knowing when to be inquisitive, and when to stop asking. i've always let my girls know that whenever and whatever they want to talk about, i'm available. i may not have the answer, may give a wrong answer, but if i don't know we'll find out together.

one thing you'll have to remember is the 18 and 26 year olds aren't little girls anymore; you have to treat them as adults. they'll all make mistakes, and they need to learn from them but you can console. remember, sometimes unsolicited advice isn't appreciated.

Answer 5

Well just be there for them and let them know that you are there for them when thye need help. They should know it as long as you just be there when they need you. That way they will appreciate the help more. SO talk with them and tell them you will be there in case they need you and just wait.

Answer 6

let them be. socialize only when they talk to you. but dont ask them awkward questions.