Does this bother other girls as much as it bothers me? (Boyfriend Related Q)?

Question

This will sound very stupid, but when I'm on the phone with my boyfriend and one of us needs to get off the phone, typically we always say 'Okay, I Love You, Bye" but sometimes he will just say "Bye" and I'll just say Bye to him also and we'll hang up. What's bothering me, is that I almost expect him to say "I Love You" to me when we get off the phone, and it worries me when he doesn't (because I'm a VERY paranoid person) and my mind starts to wonder if he still cares, or if he's cheating, or whatever. (Yeah, they are stupid thoughts but my ex boyfriends did crap like that to me) So, I'm just asking if these thoughts are some-what normal, and other women feel this way, or if it's just me who needs to get over it, and hope that nothing bad is going on. And It bothers me to the point of calling him back a few mins later and telling him myself that I love him. Should I just be saying it first, or should I be waiting until he's says it, and then respond to him?

Answer 1

lol i am the exact same way. Sometimes if he didnt say it, i would be like "does he still love me?" and a few times i did actually call him back haha. But then i told him it bothered me whenever we didnt say it, because you never know if you'll talk to him again [ not to sound bad or nothing! ] so we both started saying it.

Answer 2

Interesting question.

I don't think saying "I love you" should be a chore. Say it when you both mean and when the time is right. If you overuse it, it might lose its meaning. You already said it yourself, you're a paranoid person. Don't read into things so much. If you both talk it out and agree that you don't need to say it every time, then you should be fine.

My ex wasn't good with saying "I love you" and I was fine with it. Then I noticed how much I cared about hearing those words. Around Valentine's Day I said "I love you" and he hesitated and then said it back. I didn't read too much into it until he broke up with me 2 weeks later. Then I started to reminisce and realized that things were changing. He wasn't as intimate as he once was.

Maybe your paranoia is a good thing. Just keep it in control. As long as you communicate with your boyfriend, your relationship will last. The situation is different for everyone. In my case, it turned against me. There's definitely hope for you (not that anything bad will happen). If you wait too long it might be too late to fix things. I never saw it coming which makes it hurt even worse.

Trust your instincts and talk it out with him. I know it'll work out.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I know how you feel, and I get a little offended when my boyfriend and I don't say I love you before we get off the phone. Guys aren't always suppost to make the first move though. Have you tried telling him that it bothers you that he doesn't always say it when you guys say your Goodbyes? Maybe try talking to him about it and see how he feels about it. Maybe he feels the same way, you never know. And if he says it then say it back so he doesnt get offended and what not. Don't take it too personaly.
Hope I helped. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I think you're overreacting. I'm a paranoid person too, but you should ask yourself is there something that makes you feel this way? Honestly he probably has no idea he's worrying you. Is there a reason you feel insecure in general about the relationship? I understand how previous relationships can affect you, but in this case if this is the only real problem then I think you have no need to worry :)

Answer 5

ok when u say i love u after every phone call.. it only becomes words.. not meaningful... personally I think it becomes fake.... to make it personal he should be with you and look at you in the eyes and say i love you... unless hes on a business trip or long distance u gotta say it over the phone.. but if u see each other daily... save it for when u can hold his hands and say it... wellll thats me...im sure he loves you...he should tell u when he feels like it....

Answer 6

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Answer 7

these thoughts are definelty normal. But i think its a rather good thing that he doesnt tell u he loves u all the time bcuz if he kept tellin u dat he loved u over and over again, you'd probably get sick of hearing it. you should try to not let it get to u and just be happy when he tells u that he luvs u.

Answer 8

My first thought it to chill out. Try not to make a big situation out of a small one.

Answer 9

well... i dont really know if i should be answering this cause it happened to me to and he cheated but i dont erally think that he knows how much it bothers you maybe you should bring it up and talk about it with him... and hes prob not cheating on you my boyfriend was cheating on my for the start

Answer 10

Perhaps it's better for him to say it when he really means it instead of as a habit--everytime you hang up.