A yr. ago I dated this man. We were strong for a yr but I did not sleep with him because he made it clear he was really hurt by his cheating ex and he is not ready to put his heart on the line again. It ended and I started dating another man who claimed to be ready then changed his tune to the exact same one as the 1st man. I still have feelings for the first man and I know he is somewhat interested since he has been e-mailing and got jealous when he found out I was seeing someone else. Since they both offer the same thing, should I go with the 1st one or neither? I am in my 40's so I am no spring chick. I would like to be married but not very many men seem ready for it. Which one or neither?
2007-03-25 11:29:11 · 16 answers · asked by Andrea F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ONEONTAW: They both wanted to sleep with me.It's been me putting the breaks on
2007-03-25 12:47:24 · update #1
Neither at this time. It sounds like you basically left one and then subconciously went out and found his twin. You need to get clear within yourself exactly what you want and need in a partner.
Once you are sure what is and is not acceptable and to what degree, you will begin meeting (or deleting) those who fit your needs. The fact that you are in your 40's means nothing. Dont believe the outdated hype that as you get older you become less desireable. The men in the world are aging at the same speed as you (and women age a lot better!). Take a little time to think about it, neither of these "great catches" is going to jump off the shelf anytime soon, and it may be just what THEY need to get a reality check and clean up their acts.
2007-03-25 11:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by Chillyboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you want a man that looks good on paper or one that you have true feelings for. sounds like you just want to be married - try feeling comfortable & secure on your own before you begin a lasting relationship with anyone. so many people get married because it's the next step - marriage is about love & trust not whether or not it's the place you want to be or thinking you are no spring chick because you in your 40's. btw i am 44 so i do know that feeling but trust me waiting to you find the right person is much more important. i have been single for 13 years & found someone that i see spending the rest of my life with - he makes my heart jump up & down!!! that feeling is defintely worth the wait!!
2007-03-25 18:37:42 · answer #2 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I can't really help you, you need to figure that for yourself. You are in your 40's, true, it is hard to find men at that age, but can you imagine spending your life with either of them? Which one is better to you. Make a list of positives and negatives for both. If it seems like you can't really think of many things for the 1st one, it may just be that you're having your doubts and just looking back to the past (greener pastures on the other side of the fence)
2007-03-25 18:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by Matt M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not worry so much about not being a 'spring chick' and only date someone who you feel chemistry with and truly enjoy spending time with...don't settle just because you're 40 and want to be married...single life can be as great as you make it.
If you really dig one of these guys then date him...if not, then move on...
2007-03-25 18:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say, but a man didn't want to sleep with you for a yr. because he had been hurt?? And then another guy does the same? I really am stumped on this one. but I wish you luck in finding someone because it seems to me that it's neither of these guys.
2007-03-25 18:36:54 · answer #5 · answered by oneontaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
neither one sister! Find you a man who doesn't have a ton of baggage! At 40 it's going to be hard to find a man who doesn't have some issues from the past, but you should be able to find a man who can commit to you sexually and emotionally. Neither one of these guys sound like they can.
2007-03-25 18:33:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what YOU want. To me, it sounds like you have been accommodating everyone else's feelings and wishes. If you want to hang in there with a man who has "heart" issues, I guess you could choose whichever one you like better.
If you want a little more out of a relationship, you should probably move on.
Good luck!
2007-03-25 18:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by YSIC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make a decision based on the fact that you are in your 40s and wants to get married. Choose the one you love and make sure you know fully well why you love that person.
2007-03-25 18:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by Batman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you i would find some other man who will treat you nice and like you for what you are. You should dump both of these men.
2007-03-25 18:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Heidi T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say 1st one here are my reasons
you have feelings about him
he is interested in you
if it doesn't work out you can always get some one new
those aren't that good of reasons but you can try it and always if you end up not liking him you can get a new one
2007-03-25 18:36:02 · answer #10 · answered by i love you <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋