like Q&A or one liners. Preferably clean jokes. Some examples...
What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur?
Jurassic Pork!
Did you hear about the magic car?
It turned into a driveway!
2007-03-25 11:20:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Try wocka.com
One day an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.
The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are ya that she is gonna kill ya? Did she threaten to kill ya?"
"No," replied the nervous immigrant.
"Did ya hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill ya?"
"No."
"Did someone tell ya that your wife is gonna kill ya?"
"No."
"Then why in God's name did ya think she's gonna kill ya?" asked the exasperated police officer.
"Because I found bottle on dresser and I think she gonna poison me!" He handed the police officer the suspect bottle.
The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud.
The immigrant became indignant and said, "What's so funny? Can't you see the label on bottle says 'Polish Remover'?"
What do you get when the post office burns down?
A case of black mail.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarter back!
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
A: Because she ran away from the ball!
Why was it hot after the basketball game?
A: Because all the fans were gone!
Why is tennis such a noisy game?
A: Because everyone raises such a racket!
What did the grape do when he got squashed?
A: He gave out a little whine!
What kind of key doesn't fit into a keyhole?
A: A keyboard key!
How do you stop meatballs from drowning?
A: Put them in gravy boats
What is the demons' favorite TV sitcom?
A: Friends
Why are graveyards so noisy?
A: Because of all the coffin
What did the tie say to the hat?
A: You go on a head and I'll hang around
Why is a river rich?
A: Because it has two banks
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite
Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: They're trying to get away from the noise
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick
What did the tie say to the hat?
A: You go on a head and I'll hang around.>
What do you call a 18 wheeler loaded with pigs?
A : an 18 squeeler
What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?
A: Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork
What do you call the top of a dog house?
A: The Woof
What vegetable has rhythm?
A: A Beet
What awards to the give to wonderful Grandmothers?
A: The Grammies
What kind of shirt always needs a shower?
A: A Sweatshirt
What did they wear to the Boston Tea Party?
A: T-Shirts
2007-03-25 11:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by khg831@sbcglobal.net 3 · 4⤊ 4⤋
not a one liner but still very funny
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.
She read. "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"
The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think the man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said excitedly, "I know! I know! He said, 'Holy ****! A talking pig!'"
2007-03-25 11:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by Ben R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
It's too far to walk!
Knock knock
Whose there?
Pencil
Pencil who?
Pencil fall down if you don't wear a belt.
Did you hear that Willie Nelson was hit by a car?
He was playing "on the road again."
Okay - those are the corniest ones I can think of right now!!
2007-03-25 11:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by liddabet 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
A guy goes to a news stand and asks for a paper, the guy at the stand says do you want yesterday's or to days, the guy says I want to days, the stand keeper said come back tomorrow.
2007-03-25 11:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by Steiner 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "Why the long face?"
Why did they call the Rooster Robinson? Because he crew so.
2007-03-25 11:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
They were great!! I love the one about the short story!
2016-03-29 04:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did the fish say when it crashed into a concrete wall?
"damn"
dont you love it?
2007-03-25 11:22:31 · answer #7 · answered by ♥rural gurl♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole? A 30ft c__k that wants to reach out & touch someone,
What did the fresh farm egg say to the hot boiling water?
Cant get hard now I've just been laid...
2007-03-25 11:25:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 5⤋
What kind of dance does a tissue do?
The boogie!
2007-03-25 11:22:54 · answer #9 · answered by sunnysky4u 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
go to youtube.com and look up chacamanah.
2007-03-25 11:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by mandymofasa 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋