My shih tzu is a afraid of men, how do we make her feel comfortable around men?

Question

My fiance and I just adopted a 5 year old shih tzu and she is great with me and scared of him. She lets him hold her and love her but will never come to him and no way can he take her out because she gets so scared she tries to run away. Suggestions?

Answer 1

Don't force her, she'll come around. As long as he doesn't give her any reason to think that she should be afraid, she'll realize that he isn't a threat. She needs more socialization.

Answer 2

Takes time. I took on an 18week old shih tzu female who had spent all her life in a garden shed. She had obviously been mistreated and was, and still is to some degree, a very nervous dog. She was especially frightened of men and it was obvious to me that a bloke had mistreated her. However, she's been with me for almost 4 years now and loves my husband to bits - but still she worries about men when we're out, particularly if they are walking behind her when she has been known to sit down and cry! So, even from a very young age, they dont forget that dreadful life they've come from. Just do things at her pace and give her plenty of love and affection. It's heartbreaking, isn't it.

Answer 3

I think that is a trait of a Shih Tzu. I have a 13 year old one that will only go out for my husband. It just not that she is scared of him she just rather you do it. Mine won't come to me either only my husband. They can be quit stubborn and set in their ways. All the rest of them will come to me and let me take them out but not my 13 year old ..she is daddy little girl and that is all there is to it. Don't worry about it. That is just the way they are. I knew of one that the man did not like this little Shih Tzu the wife brought home. But that little dog would just set and stair at him for hours. Every day this puppy would do this. Each day this puppy would move closer and closer to the man. Until one day the wife seen the little puppy laying in the man lap.. From then on they were inseparable. I have 8 Shih Tzu and they are all different. They may like one man and not the other same goes for women, But Shih Tzu's love all people they are just stubborn.Just give up and you be the one that takes her out. Remember she isn't scared even if she runs away. She just rather you be the one that she comes to and to take her out.

Answer 4

As she tolerates being held then your already half-way there! I had this problem with my present GSD! Your fiance should make a fuss of her, feed her and generally look after her, for a short while but leave the exercising to you or take her for a very short walk (always on the lead). Any discipline should come from you. Unless he's capable of controlling his tone of voice! An abused dog cannot take it. She will soon learn to trust him and want to be with him if you are both patient and gentle with her! Male friends could also help! If possible let her meet as many as possible but explain to them first! Don't pick her up or force her if she shows reluctance! When you can both take her out and both teach her recall!
Good-luck and give her lots of TLC!

Answer 5

This suggests to me your shih tzu was abused by a male(s) before you got her. If she let him hold and pet her, try having him learn to massage her gently, while in your presence...this relaxing technique may bring her to trust him. Also, time itself may help...how long have you had her? Do you and your fiance live together, does the dog see him all the time? Never, ever have him speak loudly or threateningly around the dog, even if it isn't to her. Have him come down to her level, leave her treats near him and when she get them to praise her and pet her if she will let him. YOU need to do ALL the disciplining, let him be the 'good guy'...
No guarantees, but, after some time, these methods may help.

Answer 6

I thought some of the other answers from females quite funny and I must say expected. It is highly unlikely to be because a man has abused her. Given the breed she probably belonged to a lady living on her own or with very few male visitors so she is just not used to having a man around or hearing a mans deeper voice, give her time, she will come round, let your partner talk to her in a soft voice but wait until she is ready to go to him do not force the issue. I have a African grey parrot who has never been abused by a woman but who goes balistic if a woman goes near him.
Ex police dog trainer.

Answer 7

Your dog was probably abused by a male sometime during her previous life and it will take some time for her to become accustomed to a male who isn't going to hurt her. Make sure that if she needs any discipline that you carry it out, It's very important that she only associates good thing with your fiance. He should be the one to feed her and give her treats and take her for walks and that sort of thing, make sure she spends plenty of time being pet and touched by him but make sure he doesn't make any sudden movements that she could find threatening. You really have to be careful about their relationship for a while because one wrong move and all your progress could come apart.
Because it's important for your fiance to spend a lot of time with her, you should compromise and while he feeds and excercises her, you train her swap the nights you cuddle her so you have some cuddle time too. The most important thing you need to know is that this isn't going to fix itself and it's not going to happen overnight. It will be a long process.

I hope everything works out.

Answer 8

Your dog probably has anxiety around your fiance because of past history w/ a man. I would say have your man entice her w/ treats, by that I mean have him call her to come then give her a treat. I would say; he needs to stop going to her and let her come to him for now. She is going to have to want to be by him for her to get over this fear. Have him get down to her level and call her, but he needs to change his "tone" of voice, make it sound like coming to him is FUN! A scared dog will not go to a voice that is giving the dog a "directive." Until she accepts his trust with the "come" command I would not try anything else. You might want to pull up the "Dog Whisperer" web site. In season 2 there was a dog (Maddy) that was deftly afraid of men and Maddy's fear was re-directed so that she ended up loving Men. Must see for you, with your situation. Good luck

P.S. I would not have your fiance pet her to try and calm her down, bad idea. What that would do is only feed the anxiety she already has towards. Best that he ignores her and let her come to him when she is ready.

Answer 9

I doubt if your dog was ever abused by a man, this is very common. She was probably bred and raised by a woman, and didn't meet enough friendly men when she was a pup. She also feels submissive, she is comfortable with you but your b/f is automatically ranked higher in the pack hierarchy, and she'e in awe of him.
She can learn to overcome this, it will take time and patience. It will also help if you have some tame mates who can visit and ignore her! Forcing attention on her will just trigger her anxiety and teach her to back off; if they ignore her she can sit in the same room as them and learn to tolerate them. Its called 'habituation', she can get used to them.
Your b/f should take over feeding her for now, he should walk her and be the one to give her all the positive attention. He could try sitting on the floor instead of looming over her.
You could get a treatment plan from a pet behaviour thrapist, see your vet for a referral.

Answer 10

He should be the one to start handling her all the time and take her to obedience class. He should start carrying small treats around and reward her with one every time she comes to him or allows him to handle her. Have him start feeding her. In other words, you should withdraw from handling her for awhile and let him take the lead. He should always be gentle and patient with her and use a soft voice and always reward her every time she responds positively toward him. Eventually she will warm up to him.