alright so he wants to be friends but he's put me though so much stress- i don't talk to him or my ex friend because they were getting to close lately and that it self was a no. I also found out now that they "talk" so im real heated. I dont want to hold grudes but i dont want to have him thinking me being his friend will make him think that what he did was okay. what should i do? I say no- but honestly what do you all honestly think? SOmeone told me grudges hurt the heart-is this true for my sistiuation?
2007-03-25 11:10:39 · 11 answers · asked by haliverryberry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I always found friendship and ex's just didn't work out..not like on TV!! You don't have to make excuses for yourself, and live up to anyone elses set of standards. Just be blunt, tell him to F off, and get on with his life.
2007-04-02 08:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. here's my take on your situation. Your bf ended up liking your friend? This is very common. You probably talked about him to her, and probably talked about her to him. This arouses curiousity. This is not your fault. That's just how the story goes. My advise? To move on you can't hold grudges. This doesn't mean you have to stay friends with either. I think it would really throw both off if you just went ahead and moved on. To be friends with him would be fine. This would really show him that you've moved on actually. Don't act jealous or angry. I would barely make time for him. I would do things like call and say"hey i just wanted to say hi, didn't want to be a stranger, but i do have some stuff to do...i'll talk to you later" be sweet...and don't talk trash about either one. accept it and do it with grace. for your little friend there, depends on how long you guys have been friends. i mean, if you guys are like really really close and not just some girl you hang out with, i would try to do the same with her. if she's just a friend that is usually just there for the good times......how about we don't call her at all okay? i would definitely make room for a new crowd. I would really work on going for what you want...and don't do anything you don't want to do. Do things that make you happy. Take time to improve yourself. Don't waste any time. You can do this. Trust me on this one. Just do this with some style okay? Play it off like it doesn't even phase you, but not to the point where it seems fake. Be honest. Don't bring stuff up though.
2007-04-01 17:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by starbucks4jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you dont want to talk to him and not have anything to do with him, you should tell him that you dont think you can see him as a friend after what he did to you. But if you want to be friends, but need time, you should tell him that too, that when you are ready you will let him know. Because sometimes trying the whole friends thing doesnt let you heal and get over the realtionship, it instead just holds you back.
2007-03-25 11:16:07 · answer #3 · answered by Wondering 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be friends with an ex until all the emotions have gone away. It just doesn't work. So tell him to check back with you in 6 months but until then, it's best if you just let each other live separate lives.
2007-04-02 06:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i admit u have a real interesting situation, but i wud be friends with him, my ex doesnt even talk to me, even when i try to talk him he just says
"do i no u"
or
"sorry but im not allowed to talk to strangers"
and sumtimes its real rude! it hurts sumtimes b/c he is holding a grudge b/c i broke up with him.
U are never going to get over the hurt unless you finally forgive him, and be friends u dont have to hang out, just talk to him, dont act like he is invisible, just be friendly and
FORGIVE AND FORGET
2007-03-25 11:17:44 · answer #5 · answered by amanda m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't hold a grudge but don't go out of your way to be his friend. all guys say this when things work out, yet they never put in the effort. so i would let it go, if he comes to you, then respect that but if not he's not worth jacksheeitt.
2007-04-02 02:06:43 · answer #6 · answered by misselizabee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he's hurt you and given you pain, NO is the answer. Don't let him hurt you again by being your friend. You'll just start at the same spot again. Not worth it. Trust me... I've been through it already. It's horrible.
2007-03-25 11:14:09 · answer #7 · answered by coffee! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has hurt you b4 then really dump him say adios to your friend and to him cause you will probly pick up from where you left off as in the hatred part
2007-04-02 10:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by NavyChic2011 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do not have kids then theres no friendship,dont hold a grudge go own with your life,good luck
2007-03-25 11:18:05 · answer #9 · answered by bstcrpntr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him good luck and wish him the best.
2007-03-25 11:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋