How do I tell him?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year, and I have a little problem. I get a little jealous and suspicious because he frequently talks to other girls he says are his "friends" and I don't find out about them until I see them in text messages. They appear to be messages between friends, but why doesn't he tell me? It seems like I tell him everything and he doesn't tell me anything. I'm always "suprised" - when I'm an open book when it comes to our relationship. Should I just stop telling him everything? I'm only 19, he's turning 21 in two months; I'm scaired that when he turns 21, he'll be open to more things and possibly leave me. I don't want to start an argument with him - as a matter of fact, I've been very patient the past few months I've felt this way, I just want to know what I can say to let him know how I feel without starting an argument. Can someone give me some tips or advice? Thanks.

Answer 1

Let him leave. He doesnt deserve an open person. If you dont live together tell him over the phone, but you have to be firm with it. Stop talking to him, that's how I found out my so-called bf was talking to other girls, looking through his texts. Your eyes aren't lying to you. Yes stop tellin him everything. Don't even tell him you know about the texts. Men are too controlling. He's not going to be honest until he sees that you're leaving. He may seem pitiful, but he's not if he's talking to other girls. Let one of them deal with his lying and dogish ways. I messed up by going back, something I never thought I would do and now I regret it. Enjoy life you're only 19, focus on you. Not saying to get with every man you see, but enjoy life and take your time with the next one. See im 25, I've had a bf all of my life, except b/t bf, because I didn't take my last relationship out on the next. I ended up in one of the worse relationships ever. Now I wish I would have taken more time to myself. I'm going to school, working full-time,and taking care of my daughter. It's hard to stay focused when you got someone you're not happy with.

Answer 2

Absolutely, stop telling him "everything." That's not your problem, though. First, it seems like you're reading his emails and text messages. Stop doing that. Second, it sounds like you want him to have all the power in the relationship, because you're afraid he'll leave you. If I were you (and I'm certainly not, so don't take this too seriously), I'd find somebody else. Before that can work, though, you'll need to get over the jealousy (perhaps a manifestation of lack of self-confidence). With those handicaps, nobody will make you happy, and you won't make him happy, either. You're 19. If you still have these problems when you're 30, get help; in the meantime, you're just as normal as any other young-un. Good luck!

Answer 3

Set him down and let him know how you feel detail for detail. If he does end up leaving you when he turns 21 then it wasn't meant to be and he wasn't worth it anyway.