For Muslims only plz.?

Question

I want to be an honest Muslim. I will make this short. I am alright at home but when it comes to gatherings I start to behave like a robot. A person controlled by others. I am so sick of this. I dont even need to make myself do anything to go in Robot mode.I just cant stop myself. Now I think since Im in the age to get married. I think I might not be a successful person and since they (he and his family) will be some one else. I am affaid I might become fake just near them. I dont want to be like that honest! but I cant help it. I therefor cant follow what God says even most of the times infront of ppl coz I just become a puppet. It sounds sad just to say all this.
I am a freak. Plz Muslims help me.

Im 23 and a girl.

Answer 1

Salam mu alaikkum sister

Hmmm i dont know what to say but honestly speaking dont live for peoples mind, live for what says in your mind. I understand you feel guilty about not believing in Allah properly but then there is nothing to be ashamed of your Lord, your relegion. As a matter of fact be proud of Islam, be proud of being the nation of Prophet Muhammed (saw). What more pride do you require than being a muslim. Just because some non muslime are judging Islam bad doesnt mean you should be ashamed. Stand up for yourself sister. Have faith in Allah, read the Quran, live accoring to the islamic ways. Allah is there for you. You dont to be lead astray do you sister. If Allah doesnt help you no one can and no one would. Trust Allah sister. Be proud of ISLAM

Answer 2

Salaam and Hi Henna :)

I am 30 years old, and was born & raised Muslim--and I think you have a very unique problem. The funny thing is that I am African-American, and I have the opposite problem that you have: I am so Independant and so Strong Willed, that I feel so differently from other Muslim women--that I myself feel like a freak sometimes!

You might have a "cultural problem". I dont know what country you are from--but perhaps you are from a region where the women are very submissive. Plus, you sound like a very shy person--so all that makes you very submissive.
But there are many examples of strong, powerful Muslim women in history like Khadija (the Prophets first wife), and Aisha. Obviously, Allah gave women intelligence and strength too and we honor Allah when we use our strength.

It may take time for you to start expressing yourself. But if you ever feel like your rights are being taken away--the first thing you should do is recognize that it is wrong..Then, slowly start standing up for yourself by speaking out, or simply refusing to go along with someone you think is taking away your rights....But, you must understand that many Muslims will become upset by you when you find your own strength. Like me--some women dont give me salaams (the greetings)--but I have to remember that I am God's child too--and no one has the right to try to make me feel "less than".

This will take some time for you....Often when I look at Middle Eastern women and the sexism they are suffering through--I think of the movie "The Color Purple". That movie is an important movie to black-American women because it shows the history of us being abused by black men and by white society---but I think Middle Eastern women can learn a lot about the struggles that black American women have faced. You should watch that movie.

Another good movie to watch is "The Joy Luck Club"--its the story of oppressed Asian women who find their voices.
Although the women are of different colors, and even diffrent religions than us--we are all a family of women and we all have faced opression, sexism, powerlessness, and we all have dealt with learning to find our own voice.

You owe it to your self to find your voice, find your strength, and honor those things.

I hope I helped. Salaam
--With love from the outspoken, bold, flamboyant, loud Muslim woman.

PS________________
I can not believe somebody gave me a thumbs down when I was just trying to be nice!
(see how I speak up when something bothers me!)

Answer 3

I know exactly what you are trying to say. You want to be honest, you want to be yourself, you want to be a good Muslim, but when you're around certain people you act a certain way, right? Well, that's completely normal especially being a young Muslim girl in Western society it's pretty tough, but it can be easy.

I know right now you're thinking, what does she know she's a 19 year old who doesn't have the experience to tell me anything, but I'm just offering my advice. I went to a Muslim conference recently and a brilliant Muslim woman who told me the key to being a good Muslimah is finding yourself. Just sit for a while think about who you are, what you stand for and how you will act no matter who you're with. Once you find yourself you'll find it's much, much easier to stand up for what you believe in no matter who you're with. And above all believe in Allah, look for him for guidance and pray, and you'll find the road will be much more clear. Keep you're faith alive and strong. And insha'allah you'll be among those in heaven. Peace.

Answer 4

Henna you direct this question to muslims and you know perfectly well we seek Allah's guidance and protection and most especially, we are believers. Your question has got to do with the way you are brought up and by you not being assertive to what you want. I suggest you change your attitude and seek more on Allah's guidance in your life. You are not a puppet but you are making yourself if you let others do it with you. May Allah guide you.

Answer 5

The religous beliefs provide courage and conviction.In a wavering condition,you must revert to your creator for help, who listens to everyone who calls on him.Your sincerity of purpose shall make your prayers more effective.

Answer 6

ok.
you can go against God if u stop eating the food provided by God because it wont be fair if u eat the food He give u and then u go against His will.
you can go against God's will in a place that doesn't belong to him because it wont be fair if u eat the food that is given to u by God and u go against God's will in a place that belongs to Him.
u can go against God in a place where He can't see or hear u because it wont be fair if u eat the food the food that God has provided u with and then u go against God's will in a place that belongs to Him, while God is watching u?
i think this will answer ur question.

Answer 7

you have to practice
not letting people stepping all over you.
No matter what if you are not comfortable doing something don't do it.
especially if it is for someone else.
be comfortable with yourself first
and build up your self-esteem, just don't become to conceited.

Good Luck
May Allah guide you

Answer 8

I don't understand your whole robot analogy. Do what you want to do, just be yourself. It's mind over matter.

Answer 9

Do what you want. If your heart tells you to be religious, go ahead. Otherwise, do what you want. It's your life.