My mom's a *****!!?

Question

I moved out a couple years ago. and now im 19. and i moved back in with my family because things where going real bad for me. Me and my mom have always been on bad terms, but its even worse now. and she's kicking me out. And i need her now more than ever. But she says she can't help me cuz she has my 2 younger brothers to deal with. she says really messed up stuff and it hurts real bad. like she told me to go to hell. shes real mean and i dont know how to deal it. i want so hard to just not care, but ever since she adopted me back when i was 15 i've been striveing so hard for her love and affection. If you have any suggestions i'd love to her em'. thanks.

<33kerstyn

yeah so she did not raise me. she gave me up when i was a baby. she gave up all 4 of her kids. and then did drugs and stuff for 6 years. and the woman who adopted me was very abusive. i ran into my real mom and she asked me to come back. so i did, because i was tired of getting hit and junk. but yeah i've only known her for like 4 years. and lived with her for 2. and my brothers are only a couple years younger than me. We've been to counseling and she's been put on medication because she was bipolar and had depression.
I think she stopped taking them. And my older brother who is 22 is still living with her. And i'd appreciate it if people would not be rude about this. iv'e been dealing with wayyy to much crap lately and i don't need anymore. But thank you to the people who answered with kind words, i really appreciate it.

Answer 1

I'm not quite sure what you're dealing with here. I'm a psychologist, and it's psychologically impossible to have both bipolar disorder and depression. Bipolar disorder is comprised of both mania and depression, so saying a person with bipolar disorder has depression is like saying the color green is blue without acknowledging the yellow as well. Additionally, you say that she had bipolar disorder and that she had depression. Psychologically, this is impossible. Once a person is diagnosed, they are permanently diagnosed. Some patients will go into remission, like with depression, but bipolar disorder patients never go into remission because they must always continue taking medication. If you could give some more information or some accurate information it would be very helpful.

I know what you're dealing with, though. My mother actually has bipolar disorder. She can be very hurtful at times (she says she hates me, wants me to fail at life, etc.), yet other times she can be very pleasant (she offers to help me buy things, wants to take me places, etc.). I was put into CYS foster care with my grandmother at the age of 13 because of her insanity. I have learned through experience that I cannot depend on her. You shouldn't depend on her either. With bipolar disorder, you never know what mother you're getting- the good one or the bad one. The good one may want you to move in, but then some time later, the bad one will kick you out harshly. You can't depend on her. Please, listen to me and look elsewhere for support. Don't ride along on the roller coaster that is her emotions. Find someone else to support you or support yourself. That's the only way you'll live a normal and good life.

Appreciate when she's in a good mood, avoid her when she's in a bad mood, and never, ever put yourself in a position to depend on her because it may come back to haunt you.

Answer 2

Omg!!!!!! I always go through that with my mom. Me too, I can't stand her!!! Shes always getting on my nerves. I sometimes think of leaving, but were am I going to go. I'm only 15, and no one is going to put up with me as much as my mom. Well, try to tell her what your going trough, maybe shell change her mind or something. And also tell her that just because she has 2 younger children is no excuse no not help you. Youre also her one of her daugher. I'm the oldest, and yea I have 2 smaller brothers too. Sometimes my mom doesn't even remember that I excised, so I have to go and remind her. That's when the problems begin. I really think you should tell her whats going on. Probably she has no idea, that's why she acts the way she does. And don't worry, everything will work out when you least expect it. Good luck!

Answer 3

Hi--:)
I say if she said those mean things to you, you dont need her love or affection.
What are u and your mom fighting about?
Its depends on the subject.

You are practically a grown lady now.
Act with some class and mature a little.
Why do u need her?
Explain more!

The best advice i can give u is....
Set her up for a test.
dont strive for her attention anymore.
Let her feel guilty for awhile.
Dont communicate with her for, like two weeks.
Let her worry.
If she really worries about where you are or what you're up to.
Then you know she cares for u and she is a good mother.
Then go back writing a serious letter to her and say

"Dear_____,

I know that you love me and want the best for me. I didnt plan on this happening between us all the time, but im not giving up on you guys. The words you say to me hurt a lot and you dont know how much it does. I need you right now. I know you're probably disappointed and i am too but what i need from you right now is your love and support so i can avoid putting aside my health and emotions at risk. Please be there for me and even tho i am a grownup. I still need you.

Love,________"

Ta-ta!
Thats all you need to do if you want to be serious and gain that love and support you deseve because you've been working hard for it!

Answer 4

If you're on such bad terms and your mother needs you to leave, I think asking for time to find good living arrangements with somebody else is in order. I've heard that not living with someone can vastly improve the relationship. You really need to make some good, supportive friends, nobody who is in trouble or anything. I know how hard it is to give up on somebody you love, so if you leave, you'll have to be strong and stand up and make something of yourself without her constant presence. Maybe if you make an effort to be self-sufficient, she'll be under less stress and have the ability to enjoy your friendship.

Answer 5

My mum is a similar, unwell be sitting down on my telephone purely minding my own corporation and she or he'll start up yelling and swearing at me over a tiny tiny element case in point not washing my tea cup like what the f**ok?!! not purely that theres lots different issues she's performed, i think of you will desire to easily provide her the silent medical care and forget approximately approximately her, regardless of if it leads to not speaking to her for days weeks even purely shop on with your weapons and forget approximately approximately her and with any luck she'll get the message that shes performed some thing incorrect and she or he'll aproach you... And if that doesnt artwork if your below 18 i advise you pass to a kinfolk domicile to stay for a jointly as or a friends domicile even, and if your 18 or over purely pass out, heavily no person would desire to would desire to pass with the aid of that. i desire i helped and that i desire you the very terrific of success:) x

Answer 6

The hell with her.... my mom was the same way. When I became older and more established my whole family wanted me around and seemed to appreciate me even more.But I blew them off just like they did me for so many years. The point is this.... she's obviously inconsiderate and doesn't deserve you. You will learn to be strong from this... and these kinds of situations will truly build character and take you places. The more you learn to rely on yourself for comfort... the stronger you will become..... AND NO ONE WILL EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU

Answer 7

Well her love you will never get. You should just get on with your life and not worry about your MOM. If you wait for her love you will have a long wait. And she kows that you need her and that's why she is making it hard for you. Especially if you keep telling her you need her. SO the best thing to do is leave and don't come back because MOM shoudln't be treating a child of her's like this.

Answer 8

tell her what you just said. you need her now more than ever. you want nothing more than her love and affection. but you have to understand her point too. you are old enough to take care of yourself, your little bros are not. help her by bringing some $ into the household to help pay bills and things. try writing her a letter telling her all the things you love about her and admire about her. nothing negative, express all your good thoughts and feelings, she cannot interrupt . your opening statement, not good. does not sound like love or affection to me. you need to maybe change your attitude towards her too.

Answer 9

You're better off without your selfish mother. Try to go it alone. Your success will prove her wrong. No one should have to take abuse from anyone. I have disowned my entire family, short of my "real" brother, for the exact same reason. It will be hard at times but in the end you will prevail and rise up while she rots in her own misery and intolerance. After all, that is what makes people mean towards others. It is their own lack of self-esteem and achievement that makes them lash out at others to somehow feel superior. Mean people suck.

Answer 10

Hey, maybe quality time with your mom can help. I mean, the situation is kind of bad. And you also said you've strived for her love, so bonding (woman-to-woman) would be a good idea.