First off, I have to make it clear I really love my sister-in-law. She is a really kind person with a good heart. But on that note, I am unsure what to do - if anything.
I dont believe that she was ever taught by her parents how to clean properly. They have a number of cats (I love cats so that isnt the problem either) but she doesnt really clean up after them - litter, vaccum etc. My brother and her have a baby and it is at that age where it is crawling around on the floor and eating things it finds. Their place is a pigstye. The baby just recently ended up in the hospital for a common bacteria disease which I believe came from unhealthy living conditions. My parents are both pushing me to "discuss" with her that she needs to take better care of the place. Problem is, I have already done that several times diplomatically and nothing has come of it. I am not excusing my brother either. He needs to get his butt in gear and help out as well and I have told him that too. What do I do?
2007-03-25 08:59:33 · 7 answers · asked by DizzyD 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I dont want the baby to be taken away by social services. I know both of them are excellent and loving parents other then that one problem...
2007-03-25 09:00:35 · update #1
I'm sure that this is a uncomfortable situation to be in. The truth is, you're doing this for the safety of their child. I think the whole family should be involved. I would talk to her (as should the grandparents) about the baby's recent illness. Ask what you can do to help, she might need a hand. I also think you should all pull your brother aside and talk to him as well. It's his responsibility too. Explain to them both(and STRESS ) that the risk of social services getting involved is real. The least they can do is have a clean, healthy environment for this baby.
You need back up from you brother and parents. Period.
Good luck :)
2007-03-25 09:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not understanding why your parents are pushing you to do something with this issue. Why aren't they doing something too? Or even?
There really is nothing you can do to change her. You can threaten her, but that wouldn't work, not for long anyway.
Maybe you could ask her if she needs help cleaning sometimes, that maybe she is tired and feeling down, would she like some help. She will maybe accept the help, or feel ashamed enough to make more of her own effort.
Maybe your brother could be talked to by your parents that he needs to help more.
Perhaps, a weekly cleaning woman?
Maybe buying her a self cleaning litter box.
Buy her a household basket and include some cleaning books, with hints and shortcuts, some easy cleaning products.
Do what you can and help out when you can, everyone does not clean the same, or look at hygiene the same.
But ultimately, it is their home and their problems that they have to learn from. Just do what you feel comfortable doing to help and then just step away from the problem.
2007-03-25 16:10:17 · answer #2 · answered by ldylopes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are not loving caring parents if this is what they chose to bring their child up in.I have always thought and believed that what your living environment is like is how you feel about your self inside.They must be very scattered and a mess inside their souls.Unhappy!
2007-03-26 01:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by Miz Val 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are your parents asking you to do the talking? It's their grandchild so they should speak up and not involve you.
Maybe they could speak to their "son" if they're afraid to approach their daughter-in-law and explain to him about the baby's situation healthwise etc.Tell him they have to keep their home clean and clean up after their cats.
The trouble is that we cannot dictate to people about the way they live.It's their home and their way but if I were you I would stay out of it.
2007-03-25 16:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so diplomatic. Sometimes the truth hurts us, sometimes it makes us mad, but it has to be done. If something happens to the child even though not your fault you will prob end up with guilt. Sometimes an adult has to be the voice for a child.
2007-03-25 23:26:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are your parents asking you to do this? grandparents should look out for their grandchildren and your parents aren't. Why would your brother listen to you more than them and where are the parents of the sister in law. All of you get together and have an intervention. don't let them stick you with it.
2007-03-25 16:07:31 · answer #6 · answered by Grianagh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't take your baby to their house. if you live with them, move out. most slobs never change. Most, not All.
2007-03-25 16:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by heather l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋