I have too much to do and no help!! Does anyone know how to get these kids to help??

Question

I have a house FULL and no one helps me!! I have 7 kids and it is also impossiable to keep this house clean alone. My husband works like a mad man to keep the income flowing but the kids are outta control when it comes to helping with house work!! The kids are 10, 9, 6, 2, 1 and twins are 11 months. I struggle everyday to keep up with the house and it is a major chore.. Does any one have any ideas on how i can get these kids to help out around here?? I AM LOSING MY MIND

Answer 1

i have 7 children and am pregnant with #8 (yes, i'm counting my 3 step-children in this head count because they ARE being raised by me).

there's not much you can do about the 4 small ones BUT, my older ones LOVE a game that has MOSTLY recognition as a reward. they love to compete with one another. here's what i've been doing:

i have made charts and they are ALL OVER the house (and even one in each vehicle). EVERY TIME the kids do something WITHOUT ME ASKING i give them a star AND i boast about it to their Dad when he gets home. at the end of two weeks if the kids have more stars beside their name THAN I HAVE BESIDE MY NAME they ALL GET A PRIZE. this way the kids think they are working AGAINST ME and they are all happy to pitch in... but at the same time they like to see who had the most stars for BRAGGING RIGHTS for Dad.

if the kids put on their seat belts without me having to remind them THEY get a star. if i have to remind them I GET ONE STAR for every child that didn't buckle up!

if the kids pick up their dirty clothes without me telling them THEY get a star. if i have to ask them for their help, I GET A STAR. it's SO FUNNY to see the kids with their big grins marching past me while doing their JOBS WITHOUT BEING TOLD... they LOVE the instant happiness it brings me... they look SO PROUD of themselves.

i know this wouldn't work if my husband and i didn't put a LOT of enthusiasm into their efforts though... THEY WANT THAT RECOGNITION!

maybe you can give the older kids stars for their own things being cleaned up AND if they assist one of the younger kids!

CHINS UP MOM! find a way to make cleaning FUN and REWARDING (a candy bar or taking them out for ice cream at the end of two weeks is a great reward... but i truly think it's the daily fuss i make over the kids doing so much and Dad being so happy too that makes my system work here!)

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT... the reason the charts are EVERYWHERE is because it is a constant reminder as they walk out of each room! one chart MAY work for some people... but i don't think it would work so well for my kids (they need the constant reminder WITHOUT HEARING me say it!)

Answer 2

Oh wow. It sounds SO difficult! Do the little ones have a nap time? Even if they don't sleep I would have a regular time each day with a rest period for the 2, 1 and 11 month olds. Then, make clean up a fun time for the older kids. Have laundry baskets in the toy room and you can have a race to see who can fill up their basket quickest.

Or- set up a little reward system where they can earn a point here and there and then trade the points for something (small) but special.

It helps to have not too many toys around. Rotate them from your storage to the toy room. After they have not seen them for a while it will seem like a new gift! And don't be upset with them if the job isn't done perfectly. Any effort at all should be appreciated.

Can you have a mother's helper (or 2) come over after school so that you can then have a rest, or time to put your feet up with a book?

We moms have to take care of ourselves, too!

Best wishes to you
from a grandma-aged person

Answer 3

assuming your situation is a very difficult one and it is also to be carefully dealt with, the situation is very practical and you can do these things, try motivating them and pleasing them, give them a chocolate for every good work done, rewarding them will help them but look at the chores too, do not let them tired, you can actually ask them to read a book or ask the 9 or 6 to actually look after the twins, and it all depends upon the outlook that you have, have a positive attitude. love, affection will change the person rather than hard words, remember always soft words break hard hearts. so have a keen outlook and do things in a positive way, true it is difficult and they are in this age that its difficult to tell them things. be an example and change things and thats sure going to work.
all the best, give it your best shot, it might not work in the first two days but then you are sure going to get ur respect

Answer 4

Try making out a to-do list of chores for each child. Hang it on your fridge or wall.When they come in from school, make them do them. If they don't, take away one of their favorite things for 1 day. If they don't do them the next day, take away 2 of their favorite things for 2 days and keep going. If you will be consistent with this they will finally have nothing to do but sit in their room with nothing to do. Sounds like a good time but trust me, They won't like it for long. You are going to have frazzled nerves for a week or two but look at the outcome. Good Luck. You certainly need help and all but the twins and 1 year old are old enough to do this. (yes, a 2 year old can pick up their toys)

Answer 5

YES!!!!

turn stuff into games for the younger ones,
reward them with something they want at the end of the week
for the older ones deducting the amound of pocket money if they dont help tends to work for me

with the younger ones create a sticker chart.
e.g
make bed wash dishes laundry
name... :) :(

do a happy face if the child has completed the task and a sad face if not.... then at the end of the week give them a reward/treat if they have completed more than half the tasks

in my house the best part of cleaning up is making the mess again.

sometimes it gets hard and you have to motivate your kids to want to help you.

plan different jobs for each kid, that would suit there personality/ability... let them work together and compete against eachother, let them see what they can get in return of helping you....

you dont always have to reward them with brought stuff you could always try letting them get an extra hour before bed, or letting them get a day of from helping.

hope this helps

Answer 6

When I was a kid, my mom posted a list of chores on the fridge for us to check. We could not do anything until our chores were done. She trained us from the time we were young so that we knew how to do chores.

In our house now that I'm the mom, I do pretty much the same thing..."you can do what you want to do after you've done what you're supposed to do."

If they aren't used to chores, you'll have to teach them all the steps. Once you've gotten them into a routine, there shouldn't be so much for you to do.

Answer 7

My kids FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER TO DO CHORES. And with 7 kids, you've got one powerful tool - competition.

At our house, there is $20 a week to be had in allowance. You must first take care of yourself - bath or shower, brush teeth, clean your room, etc. before you are eligible for the allowance.

Then the fun starts. I will call the kids, "Trash needs to go out" and they are in the kitchen waiting for me to pick one of them. "Laundry needs to go down" and the same thing.

WHY? Because they have to pay for ANYTHING they want. Now, we do birthdays and Christmas of course, but if they want ANYTHING above and beyond, they pay for it.

For example, they want to see a movie. They want to order books from the book order at school. They want to buy a toy, a CD, candy, etc. they pay for it.

Your little kids probably like to help but can't do much. The older ones who are capable probably don't want to help. I had the same issue.

What I did was to have the older one help the younger one learn to clean - that became one of the chores.

We also have "big" days where the kids tell us they need to earn money for this or that and they ASK for a big job. These are paid at $5/hour and include things like raking the entire yard, doing the edging and mowing, etc. Or it may be cleaning the entire house top to bottom or cleaning out the attic, garage or fireplace - yuk!

The trick is that you can't buy a lot of stuff for them because then they don't need the money. They'll need to be with you at the grocery or wherever a few times and realize that they don't have money to buy a candy bar or toy and you won't buy it for them.

You also have to make sure to provide opportunities for them to spend the money.

Good luck.

Oh - and I always recommend this book because it saved my life - Parenting with Love and Logic. GREAT book!

Answer 8

I know this sounds like it wont work, but try the chore chart with stars. Give them chores and when they are completed give them a star. when they don't take one away.make a goal like if you get 10 stars you get to go with mommey to the store or something fun with one on one time with that child. Believe it or not it does work. Kids want to spend time with mom all by them selves. I know I am a mother of 6.

Answer 9

I also have a big family and chore charts are a must around my family. What it is is each child has a set of chores and when they do them they get a sticker... after so many stickers they get a treat like trip to the park or something doesnt have to be costly but something nice. It seems to really helps around here.

Answer 10

make them do it
tell them no tv,video games,friends,or phone till the house is clean and it only comes back if they help and same with allowance if they get one
alot chores to all but the youngest 2 (i have a 2 yr old she does help)

for the 2 yr old something simple like putting silverware (other than knives) in the diswasher or throwing trash in the trash can (watch this though my daughter puts everything in the trash)

for the 6 yr old somthing like gathering laundry

your children over 2 should be expected to clean their own rooms and keep them clean
your 10 and 9 yr old should be able to do laundry or dishes