A shaggy dog tale......?

Question

Recently I was buying a large bag of Pal at Tesco's and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my bum and a car hit me.

Answer 1

did you type that or paste it from last week or the week before or etc etc

Answer 2

The Descent 30 Days of Night The Mist The Orphanage 1408 The Hills Have Eyes Child's Play Pet Semetary When A Stranger Calls Jeepers Creepers American Psycho The Exorcist Texas Chainsaw Massacre Dead Silence

Answer 3

good 1 lmao 10/10 x

Answer 4

Ha Ha! Funny! Good one! 9/10.

Answer 5

thats a good one i think there aint a lot in some tins of dog food and human food you ever tryed meatballs yuch

Answer 6

I think that's a funny one! a Star for you!

Answer 7

little doggy
crossing street
motor car
sausage meat

Answer 8

weird,but i laughed.
you got the desired affect from me.
damn it!!!

xxx

Answer 9

that was better than those here's your stupid sign jokes! that was just the funniest thing ever.

Answer 10

funny