i have three children with my ex. they are 9,7 and 3 yrs old. he doesnt work and has an alcohol and drug problem. my children go every weekend at the moment and in the school holidays. i'm currently with a great man but its long distance. about 100 miles. he is everything their father isnt. he's an ex marine but is going back in and wants me to move to be with him. i'm studying for a degree and the plan was to graduate and move then, but he's worried that the children will suffer being far away from their dad and will cause problems by resenting us both. i'm worried the children will suffer more in the long run by being with their dad. when he does have them he has his mates around drinking and smoking dope, the children basically run riot there and he cant control them, i dont want them to grow up with that as a role model for male behaviour. can i morally move away? it'd be about 300 miles away so contact would be extremely hard.
2007-03-25 07:50:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i dont want my children to be upset as dispite his faults he is still their father. and they love him.
2007-03-25 08:00:25 · update #1
of course you can it sounds like your doing the right thing i wouldnt let them anywhere near their father if it was me it sounds like you have been more tolerant than most women
2007-03-25 07:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by missperfection 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know these things are going on at your exes home you need to stop sending your children to his home....
and when you do move... try not living with the marine for the first year or even really at least the first 6 months and your children will resent him less as it won't be such a shock to the way things normally are for them. A move and a new male in the house all at the same time will throw them off a bit.
but you will have to work out away for your ex to still be in the kids life even if its just like a weekly phone call after you do move.... especially with the 9 and 7 year olds.
2007-03-25 08:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by suesue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF all is stated in YOUR side of the story it's probably immoral
not to move, because it is best for your children and yourself.
Although the kids wouldn't see dad as often, 100 mile drive
is only what ? 2-21/2 hours away.
to thine own self be true -- is this a convenience/fun or
a morality issue. go for whichever
2007-03-25 08:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's what's really best for your children, then I say go for it. You have no moral obligation to someone that selfish. BUT. Can you legally move away? Personally, it's in my divorce papers that neither he nor I can move more than 50 miles without the other's consent or a revision of custody.
2007-03-25 08:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by cilsavon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have full custody yes I think you can move but if9 joint you will have to get his permission might wanna ask your lawer about that, ANd it might be best for the kids to get away from him. He aint much of a role model now is he. kids will be mad I am sure if it but as the years go by they will see and understand more.
2007-03-25 08:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by Babie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get your kids away from him. They will not understand right now, but they will when they're older. They'll know you did the right thing for them.
2007-03-25 08:00:30 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL MOVE AND DONT LOOK BACK AND IF YOU ARE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP NOW AND YOU THINKS ITS LONG TERM THEN LET HIM BE YOUR KIDS ROLE MODEL THEY WILL BE ALRIGHT
2007-03-25 08:02:29 · answer #7 · answered by mocha27girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move in the best interest of the children and your newly found love. You can't please an irresponsible man.
2007-03-25 07:56:54 · answer #8 · answered by ddman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-03-25 08:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by Destiny 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋