should you meet with your first love again after 20 yrs?

Question

we were very young when we split and it feels unfinished to me.

Answer 1

YES, YES, YES, ABSOLUTELY. I would give anything to have that Opportunity, What harm can come of it after all you have split up once and there is nothing worse than the torment of that especially if you feel that the relationship ended before its time. Go for it , good luck and I hope that it all works out for you and if not then at least you will know that you tried. Just make sure that you don't fall back into the same trap as before, You Lucky, lucky person.

Answer 2

Well, here's a story that might serve as encouraging:

My father (before he met my mother) was married when he was 20. The marriage lasted all of 2 months before they decided to get a divorce because they felt like they hadn't experienced enough of "real life".

They both grew up in the same neighborhood and that neighborhood at some sort of "1972" reunion. He considered NOT going because she was going to be there. It had been literally THIRTY years later. He had remarried, has children and became a widow during that time.

Needless to say, he went. Met her again and they got remarried. How sweet is that? Married someone twice after being apart for 30 years.

Now, that may not happen your case... he or she may be remarried happily themselves. However, I would always challenge fate before I ignored it. First loves are either just that... first loves.

Or who knows? Maybe after all this time you've both become the ideal person for one another. Maybe you'll have the opportunity to settle some unfinished business.

Good luck!!!

Answer 3

Oh god no ! This is a disaster waiting to happen ! Trust me - i`ve been there - it won`t work. They say it`s better second time around - and it is - but for a very limited time. Then you start remembering why this didn`t work the first time, old unsettled rows start popping up, they start doing things and you think "i used to hate it when you did that before-you still doing it !?" ( remember,they are thinking the same about you too....) Leave the past in the past. If you still have feelings for the person - thats great memories for the future - but if the relationship starts up again you`ll lose those memories for sure, and you`ll both walk away hating one another. I know other people who`ve been down this road as well, and it didn`t work for them either. Like you said-you were very young when you split - you`re 20 years older now and you`ve both matured and grown into very different people with different interests - don`t spoil a lovely memory by trying to bring it back to life. What`s dead is dead. Sorry to say this, but people tend to go backwards when they can`t see a reason to go forward. Think about it.

Answer 4

Well, it depends. If you are married and already have kids, then, no. You must let it go. If you are still single, sure, go for it, why not, you're only gaining here.

As for why you should not meet with the other while you are attached, well, you don't need to jeopardize your family for some "unfinished business" you have in the past. That's just mean.

This is what caused the divorce of my boyfriend's parents, and it didn't really turn out too pretty for him while he was growing up..

Answer 5

If you have a chance to finish unfinished business, by all means do it! If you are currently married, or if he is, just let it be a chance to find out what happened in the next chapter of his life. Don't expect to light the fire again, don't expect the feelings to be the same or get caught up in "if only." But it does sound like it would be easiest for you to get on with your life if you aren't holding on to the past -- even with curiosity. ---And just maybe he is the man of your dreams.

Answer 6

Well, I suppose it depends what else is going on in your life. If you are in a present relationship meeting someone from your past might really throw a spanner in the works. If not, well it depends again - if you are just out of another relationship you could be acting on the rebound and meeting your ex could upset their life - you have to ask yourself about the impact on the other person. If you've always wondered it could be OK but who dumped who and would you be tempted to make a new story to put a new spin on your history -i.e. no longer the dumped. Good Luck though - would certainly be interesting!

Answer 7

If u feel that your relationship is unfinished then u need to see ur first love again and thats when u will know to say goodbye or start off were your Left off.

Answer 8

An old flame that hasnt been blown out yet.. well hun it seems you want to meet him as you are curious. 20 years is a long time.. but if you really want to meet him.. then go ahead! What do you have to lose?

It reminds me of one of those chick flicks where 2 childhood sweet hearts reunite after decades and then fall in love, I love those movies.. as long as it has a very happy ending!

Well back to you, if feelings are rekindled and a romance emerges, then maybe its meant to be. You never know.. until you walk that path...

Answer 9

yes if it's at all possible. i been thinking about that too, problem is i don't know how to get in contact with her last i saw her was 1985. i hope you don't mind my asking. what is your name? i'm just a bit intrigued cause we have the same problem. i even sent a question regarding my problem it went something like how do you find a person through the Internet with the only thing you know is their name. if your going to answer me my email is [e-mail]

Answer 10

I would meet up with them again. This is an excitement opportunity. Life only throws you a couple of these types of opportunities. It will add a spice to your life.