My bf and I have a good 3 yr relationship going on, we're great friends, we love each other company, etc etc...but whenever i am upset about something regarding him, his actions, our relationship he doesnt care and doesnt respond. Its not like I start to fight with him, I start the convo very calm, "hey you kno i discuss something with you that was bothering me, im really upset about something, something really hurt my feelings" and all i get in return is silence. He says im always complaining or b*tchin about something. My thing is...can you have a relationship with somebody who when things turn to the matter of feelings they are completely insensitive? It seems just wants me to sit there and bottle up these feelings, he just doesnt want to hear about it. I don't know what to do...help, suggestions, input..anything!!
2007-03-25 06:50:56 · 7 answers · asked by sapnokirani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
all i can tell you hun is this. if you feel a certain way there is a reason for that. you need to address that reason. if your bf is doing something to bother you, tell him. DONT NOT let him make you feel like its your problem or your fault. do not let him make you feel bad or crazy for bringing something up. in all honesty, he might not want to hear about your feelings. in which case id have to ask you, knowing this, do you really want to waste anymore time on someone who doesnt care if they are hurting your feelings?
good luck
2007-03-25 06:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by beautifulbunny0286 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and guess what? I'm not with that person anymore. If someone loves you they have your best interest at heart and they give a rats furry behind about your feelings. It sounds like this guy doesn't. You can't make him care, all you can do is wait for the right guy to come along, and the right guy will care. You will have a long and miserable relationship with a guy who refuses to fix problems that occur in your relationship. And no man should ever say to a woman "you keep b*tching" that's immature and disrespectful. Goodluck!
2007-03-25 13:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by beanie_babymama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ughh thats a tough one, since everything else is so good in your relationship.
I would say, honestly if he doesnt care about your feelings, and is unwilling to talk or work it out. Then its not going to last. You cant live your life like that. And bottling things up will just make you explode one day. And that wont be good for anyone.
Maybe your arguements remind him of someone, and he just thinks your being a "typical woman". I would suggest telling him how you feel, but apparently he doesnt listen.
Only thing I would suggest is counciling. To get both parties to work on how you can say it without making it seem like your bitching. ( i date one of those men who every time I say something is bother me I am nagging ). And how to teach him to be more concerned with your issues.
If you want to spend the rest of your life with him, he needs to learn to be a little more concerned or its not going to last. Maybe you can tell him that, and if he doesnt listen then its his lost.
2007-03-25 13:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it has been the same problems youve been trying to discuss with him and he has made suggestion on how to deal with them and you havent, this is why he acts the way he does.If this is NOT the case, then your relationship has NOT been that great or else you wouldnt be complaning about this problem.He is who he is and he isnt going to change.This is why you need to learn these things about a guy BEFORE you get serious with him.Hope you dont have kids with him.
2007-03-25 13:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How often are you saying these things.... if daily or weekly, then I think he is just tuning you out because he doesn't want to hear that same old bullsharp again. But if this is isolated, and you don't bring it up often, then he may be a person who is emotioanlly detached.... and, hon, if so.... he will not change. he's just programmed that way.
2007-03-25 14:07:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Men are insensitive. We just don't care that much about your feelings because we don't understand them. We aren't driven by emotion the way women are.
Not true in every case, but in most it is.
2007-03-25 13:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most men aren't insensitive, it's just that most men don't like discussing their emotions, or someone elses either.
2007-03-25 13:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by charliecizarny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋