how do you deal with a person who has anger problems?

Question

I seem to be at my wits end with my father and his anger problems. i dont know how to deal...what should I do??

Answer 1

It really depends on so many things such as how old are you, are you living at home, is there physical abuse...emotional abuse? It also depends on where your living, is there a social service agency that you could contact for help? There is a lot of help out there but you would need to be more specific in your question

Answer 2

My mom was a rageaholic, too. It can very scary to have a parent like that so I feel for you.

You didn't say how old you are. If you are underage and your father's problems cause him to act out abusively, you might have to involve the authorities. Confiding to others about being abused can be intimidating but you owe it to yourself to tell and get help.

If you are an adult, you have considerably more options. Here's what I have done:

*Acknowledge the fact that anger management issues are your father's problems and not yours. Also tell yourself that it is his responsibililty to control his behavior at all times regardless of how he feels.

*Move away. Rageaholics tend to strike out at the people who are closest to them. Putting distance between you and that person is a good way to avoid abuse.

*Do not have phone conversations with your dad if he is in a funk. Tell him you'll talk later and hang up if he goes into a rage during the conversation.

*If you are visiting or hanging out, leave when he starts acting out. Say something like, "I don't appreciate this behavior, Dad. We'll see each other again when you're calm."

*Suggest anger management counseling to him. A lot of hotheads are fully aware of the fact that they have a problem and don't know how to deal. Be sure to do this when he's in a good mood though.

*Refuse to become involved in his disputes with others.

*Don't let him avoid responsibility for his behavior. Do not accept blame for anything that you haven't done even if you think this will avoid an argument.

*If you have children, do not allow them to have unsupervised time alone with your dad. Make sure he understands why if he asks.

*People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) tend to have tantrums, partly due to their need for attention. "Children of the Self-Absorbed" by Nina W. Brown gives good advice to children of narcissists (myself included) about how to cope with narcissistic parents. I think you should read this book to see if this applies to your dad.

*Keep your head up and keep your hope alive. You are not alone. Good luck.

Answer 3

I have a personality that is intense and I can get angry. I don't hurt anyone physically, but my verbal attitude in intensity bothers my shy daughter (she is grown and married now), but I didn't know it bothered her because my family communicated this way. I guess my first question would be does he know you feel anger coming out, even tho it may seem obvious to you, he may not know it. People with deep anger may have deep deep hurts from the past and finally just get pissed off at life. email me if you need advise or??

Answer 4

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Answer 5

This "person" happens to be you father, I was all set to tell you not to associate with them, but I see that's not possible.
You need to talk to your Dad and find out what's making him so angry, maybe he'll agree to get therapy and you could join him, it may open your eyes as to why he reacts with such anger....

Answer 6

You could threaten to call the cops, and maybe do that when it gets to the point your scared. But you should ask your mom, or someone close (not a friend! and adult friend) to skedule a family counseling session.
And, is there anything that makes your did super mad? try not doing it and see how it goes.

Answer 7

one party has to be calm so since ur father is hot tempered you have to stay calm all the time when u dela with him. dont say anything when hes angry but after he cool off go and explain things etc...

Answer 8

If you're above 18. move out of the house. If you're not, wait till you're 18.

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Answer 9

feel free to call the cops if he takes a punch at you :)


maybe try to have a heart to heart and talk him into counceling.

Answer 10

Be calm!