How can I find out if my son is in a street gang?

Question

I have a feeling that my son may be in a gang because of the way him and his friends act. I want to ask him, but I'm afraid he'll deny it if he IS, or if he's not, feel insulted that I would ask him a question like that. What are some signs that he is associating with the wrong crowd? He refuses to wear blue and red.

Yes, we're Hispanic.

Answer 1

Never be afraid to ask your child questions especially if it pertains to their safety or well being. Always better to be safe than sorry!

Warning Signs:
These indicators listed below do not indicate gang involvement when viewed separately. While viewed together they may indicate gang involvement. If you see some of these indicators in your child contact your local law enforcement agency and as to speak with gang intelligence might be under another name in your state. They will direct you as to what actions to take.

Changing friends: associating with new friends while ignoring their old friends. Will not talk about their friends or introduce them to parents. Will be vague about where they are going and with whom.

Change in attitude: no longer interested in family activities or their old interest. Youth becomes a discipline problem at school, or at home.

Decline in school: interest in school and school related activities decline. School work starts to suffer and grades fall.

Changes in appearance: changes of hairstyle and/or clothing. Associating with youths who have the same hairstyle or clothing. Adds or deletes a primary color (red, blue, or black) in their wardrobe.

Material possessions: increased amounts of money with no explanation of were it came from. Other possessions that they could not have bought by themselves.

Personal graffiti: draws or paints different signs or symbols in their room, or on school or personal papers. Has letters with foreign signs or symbols used in them.

Drug abuse: signs of drug, alcohol or inhalant use.


PREVENTION:
Know your childs friends invite them into your home. Get to know them they will have a lot of influence on your child. Meet their parents.When your children go out know where they are going. Who they are going with. How they are going and what time to expect them home. Set rules and limits and enforce them. Young people need limits in their lives. Children can use the excuse "my parents said no" to their benefit when they are asked to go somewhere they do not want to go or do something they do not want to do.
Talk to teachers and counselors at school get involved with the people that educate your child. Join the PTA and attend school functions. Be aware of radical changes in attitudes behavior, friends, and dress. Noticing these changes will alert parents to their childs possible interests in gangs. Encourage hobbies and sports or other out of school interests. All children need to belong and feel they are part of something. Spark your childs interest in group activities in your city. Don't accept the excuse that there is nothing to do.

Answer 2

I don't know how old he is, but if he's living at home and under 18, just know where he is at all times. I know people who say it's impossible and I used to agree until I had kids.

Now that I have a teen, a requirement of going out for him is that I know where he's going, who he's with and when he'll be home - and God help him if I go to check to see that he's doing what he say he'd be doing and he's not there.

And we had the "You don't trust me talk" exactly ONCE. He said it and I told him that he was too important to me to entrust to a teenager (himself). Made him think for a while and then he got it and we've never had the talk again.

You need to be involved and know what he's up to and if he's not doing the right thing, talk with him about the logical conclusion of his choices and help him make different ones.

He can get involved in extra-curricular activities at school, volunteer, find a hobby, etc. Or if none of that sounds good to him, there's always military school. Talk about a sense of belonging!

Signs he's associating with the wrong crowd - his grades drop or (if he's older) he can't hold a job, he has a crappy attitude towards others, his habits change for the worse.

Answer 3

His refusal to wear gang-associated colors indicates a rival gang influence. Notice if there are any hand signals that he exchanges with his friends, or if he goes missing for hours at a time.

He might be getting material goods or money in amounts that don't match what he earns or gets from you (notice if he sports new chains, new shoes etc consistantly)

Does he come home looking beat up sometimes?

I would ask him off-handedly whether he has any trouble from gangs; you'll probably sense something is wrong from the way he answers. You know your son and you'll know if he's lying, I'm sure.

You might need to have an intervention, at the risk of hurting his feelings, if you are almost positive something's wrong. After all, what are hurt feelings to having your son shot up or something?

Answer 4

Well if he refuses to rule out blue and red, he is obviously not a Crip, nor a blood. But that could also mean he is with a gang that doesn't like either. If you are of Spanish descent, he could be with a Sureno or a Chicano gang especially if you are in California. Try these other colors to see if he won't wear them:

Yellow - usually Sureno, Chicano
Green
Purple - Grape Street Crips
Brown

Answer 5

he might b refusing to wear blue and red because he is in a diffrent color of gang OR simply becuase the blue and red gangs will attack anyone in those colors. can u talk to the local police dept or school cousnelor and get a list of signs to look for?

Answer 6

check the hours he keeps, know his friends and their families, see if he has things which he could not normally afford, check the places he hangs out in.

for starters, have activities you can do together like malling. Find his interests, eg cooking...then cook with him, etc. most often, a good family relationship and a harmonious home keep kids away from joining gangs.

Answer 7

Well ,if he refuses to wear those colors , he's not a Crip or one of the Bloods..... very violent gangs. But, what about the color black? That's a gang color. Is he wearing more jewelry... especially crosses? I don't know what you mean by " how they act", but if they are "throwing signs", yes that's a sign of gang membership.

Answer 8

Well you can look for things like.. Him refusing to tell you where he is going or who is is hanging out with, Your son not wanting you to meet their "new friends.", If he has a sudden drop in school performance, gang graffiti written on his clothes. If i were you I would straight up ask him.. and if he gets offended, let him know that it hurts you to ask him a question like that but his behavior has led you to believe that he is!! Or if you dont want to ask him.. check up on him, follow him a couple of nights see what he does, get serious with it.. hell my mom followed up on my a$$ when i went to the movies with my friends!!!

Answer 9

. I would just get to know him and spend much more time with him. sounds like you may have lost touch with your son. Its never too late to love and spend time, but damage from abandonment takes a long time to heal from. And extra effort from the parents or parent Abandonment comes in many different ways. you may not think you abandoned your child but through the eyes of a child things are much different, more simple actually. some times people neglect their children with out knowing it.

Answer 10

Can you give more data about what makes you think that?
Alot of kids act like they're in gangs when they are with their friends.