Ok my mom died when I was 8 I am now 15. Last year we had some neighbors move in to the house next to us. They have a family of six the mom and dad and 2 girls and 2 boys. Well I have been getting jealous of the two girls (10 and 12) because I see everything in their mom that I want in a mom. She takes them shopping a lot, she just sits and talks with them. I really want to be able to just sit down alone with her and tell her how I feel, but it never seems right. She has a family of her own to take care of. she doesn't need to be worrying about me. I have thought several times about commiting suicide, but then chicken out because I think of how my life is ok when i'm out snowboarding. The neighbors mom offers to take me into town with her and her daughters almost daily when they are just running errands. I turn it down, I don't know why but I just do. I quess I just want her to figure out what I need but it's not gonna happen. Whats going on and what should I do about it??
2007-03-25 06:10:04 · 10 answers · asked by Truthordarelover 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First things first. So so sorry about your loss. Losing your parent at such a young age is probably one of the most traumatic things that can happen to you.
Second, IMMEDIATELY tell someone that you are thinking about suicide. You are in trouble and you need help RIGHT NOW!!!
Third, the neighbor is reaching out to you for a reason. The next time she invites you to go with her and her daughters GO!!!
Fourth, it's okay for you to feel jealous of the neighbor's daughters. They have something that you want (need) for yourself and it is normal to feel that way.
Good luck with everything and DON'T kill yourself.
2007-03-25 06:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't heap all this stuff on your poor neighbors and their mom. After all, if they weren't there and instead, there was just an elderly couple, this need of yours to have some maternal influence would just crop up somewhere else in your life - you might get obsessed with the Brady Bunch or 7th Heaven.
I'd take the woman up on her offer to go shopping or run errands and then you can take care of your errands too. Cooperate with her and enjoy your time together. It seems you're afraid this might end up hurting you but there's a chance it might give you the contact you need and you would find other ways to be mothered too, from other sources, like an aunt or a grandparent.
You have fun when you're snowboarding and probably you will find some fun things to do as time goes on to fill up your life - like boys! Read women's magazines and imagine what it would be like to be a wife and mother. There are some things that women do that you might find calming, like knitting, so learn to do that. Knitting is great while watching TV, by the way....
You miss your mom. I have a feeling you will be a great wife and mom because you will know how important that role is in a family.
Your neighbor does have 'a family of her own to take care of' but you are not taking their place and you don't have to make her burden heavier, if that is what you are afraid of. In fact, she may eventually ask you if you'd like babysitting. Believe me, it's a great favor and although it's a responsibility and sometimes a lot of work, you can earn some serious cash babysitting!
2007-03-31 07:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh honey, i am so sorry about your mom. your neighbor came into your life for a reason, esp. at a time when you need a mother figure around. the fact that she is reaching out to you means she wants to take you under her wing in a way. she'll never be your mom, obviously, but she can possibly be the closest thing to it. feeling jealous is normal bc you were robbed of something you had no control over at a very young age. feeling suicidal is not normal. you need to talk to someone right away. your school counselor, priest, dad, sister, cousin, anyone. you have a lot of stuff to deal with just being 15. don't be ashamed to get help. by all means, let your neighbor mom know how you feel, i think she will be flattered and happy to have a "surrogate" daughter. moms have really big hearts. there's always room for one more. :) good luck, sweetie.
2007-03-30 14:35:56 · answer #3 · answered by just curious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to get yourself some serious counseling.
Even the thought of commiting suicide should tell you there is something wrong, Where is your father in this equation?
I realize that a girl needs a mother figure in her life for all kinds of things. Your neighbor is reaching out to you, take her hand and be honest with her, but please don't set yourself up for disappointment, she has 4 children of her own that she needs to focuss on and two of them are girls, they will end up resenting you if you push.
Please talk to a friend or better yet a school counselor and get the desreved help that you need.
Best of luck to you.
2007-03-25 06:44:16 · answer #4 · answered by MKM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are very normal. Of course you want your mom here. Unfortunately that is not possible. Do you have female family members aunts, grandmothers or someone you can spend time with. Also you could look into the Big Brothers Big Sisters Programs in your area, they should be listed in your local yellow pages. There are many children in the world like yourself. Keep smiling, and be strong. I am very sorry for you loss. If you continue to feel sad and missing your mom, you may want to talk to someone about it. Talking really does help. Good luck to you and God bless****
2007-03-25 08:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly what a tragic venture. the ideal element to do is to narrate on your neighbor's husband that the ideal element for each guy or woman may well be for him to no longer come over anymore because of his spouse's erratic habit. He might desire to comprehend. He might desire to be the only chatting together with his spouse approximately it and dealing with the priority and searching after it. at last while she sees there is not any touch occurring between your loved ones and her husband, she might desire to lay off. it may't be honest or precise, besides the fact that that's the way issues are each so often. human beings are not constantly responsible and each physique has themes. regrettably the youngsters might desire to provide up superb out yet i'm confident they produce different friends. i does no longer flow in spite of the indisputable fact that. no person might desire to have that plenty potential over you and everywhere you flow, there'll constantly be some form of concern. If in spite of everything this, your neighbor would not enable off and keeps harassing you and your loved ones, making threats, etc.- you may call the law enforcement officers and that they are in a position which will assist you guard it. with a bit of luck it deosnt' come right down to that yet purely comprehend what materials are available in to you. good success!
2016-10-20 10:22:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all please dont commit suicide that is just going to make things worse.my parents are divorced and im only 11 and sometimes it feels like my dads dead but i try to think positive i never know whats going to happen.anyway if you ever need any help you can email me at abbylaye@yahoo.com and dont feel embarassed to talk to the neighbors and i hope she understands . Good Luck!
2007-03-25 06:21:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a mother, all great mother's care for all children, talk to her.
Oh yeah and go into town with them she has extended her hand, take it.
2007-03-30 16:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by TraDeni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
offering you the opportunity to go along or be with them, is the only thing you'll ever get from people, they are all busy with their own lives, so if you have something to say--you approach them,
2007-03-25 06:22:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Befriend her, there is such a thing as a substitute mom.
2007-03-25 06:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋