Hardly any people on my side of the wedding guest list?

Question

My H2B has a large family and a large local group of friends, I have a very small family and a much smaller group of close friends having moved around loads. Since moving in with him in July I've found it really hard to get work, and consequently have no friends in the area. Consequently our guest list is around 70 people his side, 25 mine. I won't have met around 2/3 of the people who come on the day, although I am nagging him to introduce me to more people. But this is leaving me feeling very nervous and worried about the day, as well as feeling I might be quite lonely in a room full of so many strangers- I'm not a confident person in front of strangers and am dreading walking up the aisle. He feels guilty that I am feeling this way, although I tell him he shouldn't.
I just wanted to ask;
have you any ideas of how I can ease my fears?
has anyone else been in that situation?
how did you cope with it?

Answer 1

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

I know how you feel, My Husbands guest list was twice as big as mine but it didn't matter as the people I invited were all people that I love very much and who love me. I would rather have had just one person who loves me and makes me happy than 20 who I kind of know but not really.

I was dreading walking up the aisle as well as I am very self concious about ny weight (I am a big girl) and I don't like people looking at me but once I got into the church and saw my boyfriend waiting to become my husband I just focussed on him and the thought that this man loved me.

You can start the wedding without walking down the aisle, just ask the priest if you can begin at the front with your husband, or ask a really close friend or relative to accompany you up the aisle. If you do walk up the aisle concentrate on the people you know and love once you see them smile your nerves will fade.

I wish you lots of luck for your big day, You will be fine

xx

Answer 2

Hi, im getting married this year and I dont like being in a room full of strangers either. Surely you have met most of his family. I wouldnt be inviting friends unless they are really close to the actual wedding ceremony, but to the evening do.
Im not going to be too mad at my wedding and Im not nervous about walking down the isle as I know everyone there. But at the evening do I will be as my like you I dont have many friends and I have got my Hubby 2 be works mates and all my brothers mate who I havent even me. But as they are all mixed in it will just be like going to a night club. But if all the people you dont know are going to the wedding also. I can imagine your fears as you have to talk and great them as well and if you dont know them you can really do that.
Have you actually found a venue to cater for all your guests.
I would say that for the wedding recetion just invite the people you know on his family and the close friends, as it not fair on you. Unless he is willing for you to get to know a few people then Im guessing he will have to introduce you. You the bride and what you says go. There is no need for you to be so nervous on the wedding day. 70 people is a big difference to 25 on your side. So maybe equall it out to 25-40 family on his side and then the rest to the night do. Surely all his mate wont want to come to the wedding.

Have a word with you h2b and see what he says. You need it sorting before you send out the invites or save the dates.

I know how you feel but you have to set a limit to how many people go to a wedding anyways. And im sure everyone wont be expecting an invite to your wedding. Also somepeople might not be able to attend the wedding so that maybe better for you.

But as you are the bride you and maybe you mum will be going through the guest lists. So if you dont know the people dont invite, or ask who they are if there on your h2b sides and see if he wants them to come to the wedding or the night do.

Answer 3

First... don't be nervous, if these people mean alot to your fiancee, then they are going to love and support you just as much as they do him, even if they don't know you. I'd also suggest that (if you have ushers) have them seat guests evenly rather than his on one side and yours on the other. That way it will more even and know one will be the wiser. Just as some of your nearest and dearest to sit in the front so you have some familiar faces similng at you. Don't worry, the amount of guests don't need to be even, the day is about YOUR love for him, not a high school popularity contest, you already won, your the bride in the big white gown! Good Luck!

Answer 4

I'm getting married abroad, and there is only a handful of people coming on my H2B's side of the family (about 4 at most), and a couple of friends. Opposed to my massive family which is coming (about 20adults & 12children).

It's really upseting him, but he is 100% sure that he wants to go ahead with the wedding in this way, opposed to getting married in the UK close to his family!

We have decided to have everyone just mingling together, having no sitting arrangements and very a big BBQ on the beach with lots of music. So it doesn't feel to ackward.

I would suggest you just have to throw yourself in there, and try to mingle and get to know everyone. All eyes are going to be on you, so its not as through you are going to be the 'new girl'. It may be a great opportunity to get to know there, and get chatting, so you can meet up on a more regular basis after the wedding.

Try to relax, and just enjoy the day. Remember you are not completely along, you do have your family and friends there to support you. But to suggorate yourself with just your family, try and get around meeting everyone..

Best of luck x

Answer 5

yes - if he has any consideration for you he will not leave your side the whole time the celebrations are going on., as newly weds I would assume that no couple would split up to bewith their own friends/family anyway . Spend the whole day hand in hand. Plus at the point where you 'circulate' at the reception he should use the opportunity to introduce you to all those people you have never met (and vice versa) so you kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Best wishes and have a brilliant day.

Answer 6

It i the same for my sister as we have a very small family. She has about 15 going and he has 55.
Try and look on the bright side that you are becoming part of a big family. they will all be there on the day for you both to celebrate your marriage.
To ease your fears just try and think that your H2B has chosen you and loves you. He's proud of you and wants you as his family. What more could you want?
On your wedding morning have a glass of champagne to relax you a little.

Enjoy X

Answer 7

We had this at our wedding, though it was reversed. My husband is from Europe, so only his dad and one sister flew in, and he has a brother here. Just a sprinkling of other friends. Whereas my side we have a big family, etc. and made up the 200.
Don't worry at all - he will take you around and introduce you! Everyone is in love with the bride on her wedding day!
Oh, and about the walking down the aisle. I didn't want to walk up alone (dad had died), so walked down with my husband!
Good luck; you will do fine!

Answer 8

I have been in the same situation, in fact I only had 6 people on my side including my brother who gave me away and my dad who had passed away we invited his 2 close friends out of respect and honour - my husband has approx. 40 people. It was something I dreaded but talk to your furture inlaws and explain the situation you will probably find they will just get some of the guests to sit on your side as thats really all its about - looking empty on your side isnt it. On the day you will just forget about it-it wont be a concern cos you will have so many other things going on it wont matter.

Answer 9

Is it too late for the two of you to throw an engagement party? Obviously you can't invite your whole guest list (unless you have a massive house!) but we did this and it was a great way for everyone to get to know each other. I can thoroughly recommend it.

Answer 10

the people going are the most importantand who care thats all you should worry about,i had this and i thought whats the point in inviting people who i do not really no and who i dont have connections with just to make up the numbers,you will be glad and happy to meet so many people you dont no your feel like a princess.do not worry everything will be a sit should enjoy your day.xx