We have been dating for over a year. He recently lost his dad and made a major career change. He is the best friend that I have ever had and I love him more than anything. Lately he has been pushing me away because he says he needs time to deal with whats happening in his life...which is very hard for me to do because I want to be there for him but I now understand that he just needs time alone.
Should I suggest that we go on a break until he has had more time to think about whats happening with him and is ready to be us again?? I do not want to date anyone else but I do not know what else to do...any advice is greatly appreciated!
2007-03-25 05:45:10 · 20 answers · asked by missbee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you love him, breakup. He'll be better off.
2007-03-25 05:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by 6th Finger 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My fiance's father passed away 3 1/2 years ago. At the time we had only been dating for 6 months, so everything was still fresh and new. He was absolutely devastated and could not even look at me. He said the worst feeling in the world was to lose your own family. All he wanted to do was be alone, and maybe that's what your boyfriend is goind through. Give him some time. That pain and anguish will never leave his heart, but just as long as he knows you'll be there and has your support he'll be greatful in the end. I'm sorry to say, but stop being selfish. The last thing he wants to do is "be us again". If you truly love him you would understand.
2007-03-25 12:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by Maya24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woaaaaaaa. Hold on there! You say he just lost his Dad and has made a major career change. These things are strongly affecting his life. It's quite understandable that you'd want to be there for him, but you can be there for him WHEN HE NEEDS YOU. Respect his space.
To suggest to him that you go on a break until he has had more time to thing about what's happening with him and is ready to be part of a couple again, isn't a good move. He may take it as a big weakness in your relationship...that you don't have patience to deal with whatever losses may affect your lives. AND what you suggest does sound very selfish.
Be patient..be there for him WHEN he needs you, but do NOT suggest a break . There's no need.
2007-03-25 12:52:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you need a "break". I think you just need to back off and give him a few weeks to sort through things. That doesn't mean either of you have to date others. It just means he needs some quiet time to reflect and plan.
I think if you suggest the word "break" to him, he might see it as you really truly breaking up with him and wanting to end the relationship.
Why not just try to tell him that you are going to give him some time to work through things, but you would like to stay in contact every few days just to see how he is. Call him every two or three days and keep the conversations short. Let him know you care and love him but you realize he is hurting and he needs time to work through the situation. You are not abandoning him and that when he is ready to make the relationship more "active" (for lack of a better term) then you can pick up where you left off.
2007-03-25 12:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't break up with him. His pushing you away is probably a coping mechanism. Although he might need some time alone to deal, I don't think that the best idea would be to break up over this. Instead I would sit him down and tell him how much he means to you, how much you hate seeing him this way, ask him if there is anything that he wants you to do for him and if still says he needs some space respect that, but make it very clear that you will be there whenever he needs you. I think right now he needs your support more than anything.
2007-03-25 12:50:19 · answer #5 · answered by Camille 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't break up with him that might just push him over the edge. I have a tendancy to push people away sometimes and I know that when I do I don't want to I just do it. If he's saying he just needs time then give him some time but be there let him know your free to talk when he wants call him every other day and say hey just don't be pushing yourself on him just let him think give him some time.
2007-03-25 12:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Losing someone close is hard to take give him space but say lets go on a break until ur ready if he reacts badly to that cuz it mite b a case of leave me alone but not totally alone he mite like knowing your then. If he does agree to space let him no ur always there for him.
He's only pushing you away cuz he doesnt no wht to do nd STRESS and i expect a lil bit of depression let him no ur there for him nd how much you love him
Goodluck :)
2007-03-25 12:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ben 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it may be, the best thing to do right now is just lay low. Be very compassionate and loving when he does come to you, but don't force yourself on him. Guys are wierd about "needing space". I'm learning that. I tend to be a little clingy to my guy. So trust me, I know it's hard, but just lay low and he'll come to you when he's ready; if he's ready. Unfortunately this could also be his way of letting go. But keep your head up, he's probably just needing some space!
2007-03-25 13:03:18 · answer #8 · answered by GuitarChick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dunt suggest a break ... he needs u now more than ever ..even if he says the oppositte. suggestn a break will only make him think dat there is sumfn wrong wif the relationship n that u dunt care (even if dats not the case) he will feel like he is loosing another person . let him know that ur not going anywhere n that u will b there for him no matter what..but giv him space . dunt b overly nice as he will feel like ur feeln sorry for him. write him a letter bout how u feel ..he may not feel like talkn bout it but it will b diff wen he sits down n reads it .. n realises u wil b there for him wen he needs u even if he is not the best bf atm.
2007-03-25 13:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by mandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no....you have to see that his in a really bad spot....he just want some time alone and time for him to get stuff the way they we're before...if you break up with him, his going to think that you wanted to break up, and not for his own good...so i highly do not recommend you to break up with him, especially after what his going trough, he needs someone.
good luck
2007-03-25 12:50:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
give him the space he needs. As I just recently lost my father, i can't handle other peoples issues at the moment
2007-03-25 12:48:07 · answer #11 · answered by talkygirl46 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋