Back in February I started talking to a guy that I met through my friend, who had a huge crush on him and still does. As he got to know me he was impressed by my personality and began to tell my friend that he thought I was amazing. She told me he liked me and she got really jealous, but I assured her I had no intention of getting with him (I really didn't like him that much; from first impressions). But as I got to know him better (in more recent times) I'm finding that I actually have fallen for him and he likes me as much or more than I like him. He tells me he's sprung off of me. And I can really see a relationship with him working because of our similar interests and personalities... but is this right? My friend still likes him and I promised her I wouldn't ever like him that way without knowing if I really would... so now how do I break it to her? Or should I even? We'd have to hide our relationship from our friends if we got together and I see one coming... help >_<
2007-03-25 05:13:05 · 11 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also just to clarify, by "dating" I mean I'm going out with him, hanging out alone, stuff like that, but we don't really consider ourselves a couple yet, although the feeling is mutual.
2007-03-25 05:13:41 · update #1
I already tried to hook the two up but he told me one night that he already tried to make it work with her but their personalities were too different. I told her what he said and she got pissed and said it would never work between them because he'd never want her that way anymore. So they never really had a relationship but he said he tried to put his feelings out there for her and felt nothing..
2007-03-25 05:23:24 · update #2
It depends. Is it worth you losing your friendship over this guy ? How is your friend's luck with the men ? If you think that this guy is not worth your invested friendship, step aside. Hiding a relationship is NOT the way to go...If you really like him, tell your friend what your feeling for him...good luck.
2007-03-25 05:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by Fermin M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is no way to know. we here don't know the guy - you do. if he is openly gay, he isn't likely to want to have to have a secret relationship with someone. if he really likes you, and you've gone on some dates and had a good time, i don't see why it can't continue. unless he wants it to be official and wants you to be together openly. and if you're not ready for that yet, it might be too big a reason. no one wants to go back into the closet - getting out of it is hard enough. i'm definitely not judging you - i kept my first love a secret for years. and the next person i dated, for over a year. my parents are INCREDIBLY homophobic and told me i will burn in hell for it, basically. knowing they condemn it, and therefore me, i waited until i was out of college to come out to them, even though they suspected and were right. in some respects, i wish i had just come out at 15 when i fell in love for the first time. because the years of self hatred, the initial denial, self injury, being suicidal and depressed, all of that for years really did do significant and lasting damage. i hope that you are able to fall in love freely and openly. living your truth feels amazing. despite the hell my family has put me through, to this day, 12 years since I realized i am gay, i am really glad to be OUT to everyone.
2016-03-29 03:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop seeing him. Even if it's not offical if it's making your friend feel bad then you need to stop. Tell the guy you can't be with him but don't tell him why If he asks say that it just will never work out. You can stay friends with him, but you need to stop dating him.
2007-03-25 05:19:04 · answer #3 · answered by huhyftcgbjhu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u told ur friend u wouldnt have feelings then u shouldnt ! and ur being a bad friend by not telling her ...u should tell her and ask her if its ok?...if she really is ur friend then she will let u giys go out .....but probably she will just say "its ok" and deep down she will cry and hurt ...talk to her and listen to her
2007-03-25 05:21:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to keep her as a life-long friend, you'll leave the guy alone. If you want him more than her, then you have to confront your friend with the truth. If you don't do one or the other, you'll just be miserable.
2007-03-25 05:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you made a promise, etc and all these things that you said... things like these we bring upon yourself.
you have to choose between your friend and the guy.
let emotions speak.
who is more important? the guy or your friend?
it's all really up to you.
2007-03-25 05:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by ficklefeather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats hard cuz you could lose one of them but if you friend is really your friend she'd get over it evenually and accept the two of you dating and not stay mad at you. sides you are really going behind her bak do just tell her before someone else does.
2007-03-25 05:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ralster 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friend real is a good friend she should want you to be HAPPY and it might hurt her but she should want you to be happy and if he makes you happy just go out with him if she dont like it she is not a good friend.(HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU)
2007-03-25 05:21:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well do u ask her did she have a problem wit it? yall should sit down and talk about it
2007-03-25 05:23:47 · answer #9 · answered by ~*~ Princess Jasmine ~*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i gotta be honest...it looks like a lose lose for you. unless your friend changes her mind...it does not look good.
2007-03-25 05:18:09 · answer #10 · answered by politebat2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋