I have been footing the bills for him while he finished school. He wants to stay engaged for an undisclosed amount of time, and called off the wedding after everyone was notified and the deposits were all paid and non-refundable. I do not just want to wait until he is ready [it has been three years already], and think we should go our seperate ways. I would be willing to give him the ring back if he pays me back everything he owes me for back bills and part of the wedding deposits. Is this unreasonable?
2007-03-25 04:43:08 · 28 answers · asked by Kat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Legally, the ring was a gift to you, free and clear.
It is yours.
Ethically, people usually say that the person who
calls off the wedding forfits any rights to property
accrued towards the marriage. So ethically, it is
yours too.
You can certainly use it as a bargaining chip for
him to settle his debts, or you can simply sell the
ring and use the proceeds to settle the debts.
If he has more debt towards you than the likely
selling price of the ring, you might try to use it
as leverage, but if he really doesn't want to pay
you back, it probably won't work. He knows more
what he paid for it than you do.
Ultimately, however, the issue of his debt to you
and the ring are two entirely different issues. The
ring is already yours and he owes the money anyways.
If it were me, I would insist on him paying his
debts without any quid-pro-quo, and then on
the accounts being settled, I would give him his
ring back as a sign of equinimity. To make peace,
as it were.
I wouldn't tell him that that was what I was going to
do, however. I would want the debts settled up
front, free-and-clear.
2007-03-25 04:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Elana 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
The engagement ring UNDER law is his if YOU break off the engagement. If HE is the one breaking the engagement which is an agreement under TX law, then you get to keep the ring.
That is the law, has nothing to do with reason you break it off. If he cheats on you and you dump him for that, he gets the ring. Any time you are breaking the engagement aggrement , the ring is HIS property.
As far as wedding deposits go, whoever signed them is responsible for paying them. If they have both your sigs, and you paid for this and can PROVE that with a canceled check etc.. then you can sue him for half. If you paid the bill and contracted the vendor on your own, he is not held liable for the $$$.
As far as relationships go, if he is not your husband after 2 years together, leave.
Never pay a man's bills so he can go to school, thats his Mommy & Daddys job if he cant take care of himself. Never ever ever ever.
good luck and good riddance
2007-03-25 19:39:52 · answer #2 · answered by funschooling m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're supposed to give the ring back (and I think engagement ring are the only gift that you legally have to give back if the wedding is called off, but not if you get married and then divorce). However, I would tell him you want your money back for all the bills you had to pay, and then you'll return the ring.
2007-03-25 05:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by Moon Crystal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the ring that was given to you was like a contract in sorts but now that the wedding is off the ring should go back to him but if you are out of money due to the wedding like booking a place and putting money down or ordering items for the wedding he should at least cover half or more so you are not out of money.
2007-03-25 04:51:38 · answer #4 · answered by cowboybronco01 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe the way it works is that if "he" called off the wedding you have the right to keep the ring as he broke the marriage contract.
If you called off the wedding then the ring would need to be returned.
2007-03-25 05:07:43 · answer #5 · answered by MEDELLINESVIDA.COM 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-15 08:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by scheiber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is, I am a wedding planner and if he calls off the wedding you keep the ring and he should still pays the deposits. If not just sell the ring and pay off the bills. Be glad you got rid of him before you said I do!
2007-03-25 05:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by tall_slimm 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You must give him the ring back REGARDLESS of any other circumstances at all! That ring is not a gift in the regular sense, it is given with the promise of marriage. You cannot tie it to any other money issues at all. Give it back right away. Then you deal with the other stuff.
2007-03-25 08:53:06 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends.If u called it off he will get the ring back. If he called it off the courts would give u the ring.You need to gather all your receipts and take him to small claims court.You should end up with only paying half of everything.Good luck
2007-03-25 04:47:49 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I usually say "give the ring back, if he wants it he'll keep it, if he doesn't he'll let you keep it".
I do not think you are being unreasonable though.
You could either give him the ring back and take him to court for his share of the expenses for the wedding, or give it back and wash your hands of him and take it down as lessons learned, or keep it.
If you keep it he could try to take you to court to reclaim it.
2007-03-25 06:47:00 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋