me and my girlfriend have been going out for just about 9 months. and we've been pretty good. but lately everythings been going down the drain. i was talking to her on the phone yesterday and her friend was at her house. i told her i loved her and she was doing everything to try to avoid saying it back to me. and when her friend was finally around her she whispered so low i could barely hear her. and lately i think she has feelings for someone else, but everytime we talk about it we get in a big arguement. please people. im misserble i love this girl with all my hear. i've done everything just to make her happy and now i think all that was pointless. i need help or im might do something im gonna regret. so plz anyone. HELP ME!!!!
2007-03-25 04:34:23 · 9 answers · asked by golonghorns2008 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Break it off! Let her go! Because, when you are in love, you want the whole world to know! Find yourself someone who is not so preoccupied with their friends. Someone you can shout out I love you to, and who above a whisper will shout, I LOVE YOU TOO!
2007-03-25 04:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by DARMADAKO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be in agony. I do not have an easy answer for you, but there is evidence of something in your message that might be at the root of your problem. No one, not your girlfriend, and not even I, a perfect stranger, want you to do anything you will regret. However, when you cry out with a threat of doing something you might regret because of your pain, this can come off as overbearing and oppressively dramatic. Threats like this never work in the way they were initally intended. You may not even have consciously intended for this to be threatening or demanding. Most often, a comment like this will be answered with more distance, which will, of course, exacerbate your problem. I would not normally respond to a cry like this because it is best to not give it attention and encouragement. However, because of the anonymity that posting can provide, I wanted to let you in on this little secret. It will help you immensely in the end and with any relationships in the future:
Never threaten to harm yourself if you want someone's attention. It makes people feel guilty and then contemptful.
Although you are the one feeling the pain, the issue you are reacting to is actually your girlfriend's. You have no control over what she says or does. The issue you need to deal with is the WAY in which you react. This is something you have control over. When you realize this and you can see there are a number of choices before you when selecting your reaction, you will feel much calmer, although your heart may still be breaking. Think of the way you want to feel (both emotionally and physically) and make choices that correspond with that goal. It is difficult to do, but it provides you with a great challenge upon which to focus your attention, simultaneously making you an easier person to talk to and improving the relationship you have with yourself. I really wish you luck. I have been in the same place before. I still find it difficult to control my reactions, as emotions are not easily reigned in. But I am getting better at it. I'm sure you will, too. Be well. Do something nice for yourself. If you do, it makes it easier for the people around you to follow suit. If she doesn't come around, someone else will. They always do.
2007-03-25 12:11:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the solution:
Lose the attachment. Whether she likes someone else or it is your imagination torturing you...just move on emotionally. It is better for you and if there is a chance that the relationship is worth saving, she will come back because you walked away.
You hurt right now. And I feel your misery...but the reality is that no one wants to stay with someone if they feel like they are acting desperately. She wants what she doesn't have. Stop making the effort. This is hard but you can do it....
You are a nice guy...whether you two were meant to be together or not. Usually 9 months is a point where relationships go forward or they don't.
Doesn't sound like she sees forever with you right now. So enjoy your life. Move on. Of course, it is easier for me to say than you to do, but believe me...I have been where you are many times. I am the one that gives, the one that feels the pain if someone moves on and I feel like the feelings aren't mutual. Been there...really.
So save face and walk away from her. She will think twice and if you do it right, she will try to get you back at least once. It is the pattern of life. You aren't unique.
So be proud of who you are. Recognize that you have love for her...but that isn't enough to make a relationship last forever. It has to be mutual...and it has to be the right time. Consider it isn't right in one way or another.
Keep you head high and move to the next important part of your life. Be her friend when she asks for you back...but move on...moving on will make you look better and feel better too....
2007-03-25 11:43:18 · answer #3 · answered by kishoti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know sometimes girls are the same way as guys, like not saying I love you when they are around friends and stuff. If you really feel that you all could possibly break up, find a time and place where you two can just talk. Tell her how you feel, the number one thing guys do to piss girls off, is not tell them how they feel. You know, they say girls are hard to read, and we may just be, but guys are just as hard if not harder to read. Talk with her about how your feeling and if she is an honest girlfriend, she will probably tell you if she has FEELINGS for this other guy. If she does, I know it will probably KILL you almost, but at least you know, instead of catching her cheating.
2007-03-25 11:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley_Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need serious help if you say you need help or your going to do something you regret. To be honest you have messed thing up quite a bit so if things are this bad end the relationship and move on. Get yourself some help and then start over when things are better. Its not worth being messed up.
2007-03-25 11:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by ski025025 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her and found out exactly what she intends to happen with your relationship.Ask her point blank does she want to be with you or not if not then move on life is too short for such childish games...
2007-03-25 11:39:38 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like she isn't very good to you. you have to remind her that you do indeed love her with all your heart and let her know what else you want in your relationship. growth, etc. perhaps even show her this because it seems like she's been out of touch lately.
honesty and respect is what you deserve. and someone who loves you.
follow your bliss.
2007-03-25 11:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by ficklefeather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people have a problem have a problem saying "I love You " when someome else is around , maybe that is all it is .
2007-03-25 11:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by dolores h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's not right she should'nt be embarrased to express her love for u .....maybe her friends are teasing her....but she should ignore them it's not their relationship...just talk to her try not to argue.
2007-03-25 11:43:46 · answer #9 · answered by mrs. MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋