How do you tell a child that their brother and best friend is going to die.?

Question

I have recently been diagnosed with having terminal cancer. Nothing doctors can do will save me. I have accepted the fact that I wont be around to much longer however, I have a 3 year old brother who means the world to me and I believe he really looks up to me as a father figure. How in the world can either my mother or myself tell him that his hero will not be around to much longer?
I appreciate all answers. Thank You.

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear about your illness. Try to explain what Heaven is, and that you will be going there. He probably wont understand completely but at least he may have an idea. Explain to him that one day a long time away that he will see you again. If you have video camera record him a tape for when he gets older. Tell him in the video how much he means to you, how much you love him, how you will always be with him even if he doesn't feel you there. Let him know that you will always watch over him and that you love him. At three years old he will not understand that you will never be around anymore, but by making him a tape, when he is older and does understand, there will never be a question in his mind or heart what an amazing, loving, caring, brave, and strong brother you were. Maybe you could even get some time of the two of you playing together, because he is so young now he might not remember later and that way he can just watch the video and see how it was back then. My prayers go out to you and your family. God Bless.

Answer 2

Well Tell him. That All superheros need to sleep and rest and when some of them go to sleep. Sometimes they won't get up. For a very,very,very LONG time. Try to tell him that his super hero is sick and is unable to get better and the Doctor can not fix the bellyache that you have. it you might not be able to be with him for much longer and that you will be able to still watch over him up in heaven and that when your up there you will feel all better and you wont hurt any more or be sick. I am really sorry to hear that you will not be with your family. Take care while you can and I which you well on your journey.

Answer 3

I'm terribly sorry to hear about your news, but here's somethings that might help...Remember death is too complicated for a 3 year old to grasp.. even if you do try to tell him, he won't understand.. Just try to do as much as you can for him while you're here and spend as much time with him as you can.. You could even write letters or do video tapes for him to read or watch on special occasions that he will have during his life when you're not there. For example, write or tape for these dates, His 16 birthday, his graduation, first girlfriend,sex, relationship problems, drugs, college, wedding day, his first child born... Things like that... Those times are when he will really want you to be around.. but at least now you can write down all the advise you can for him for those special occasions. You could even write a bedtime letter to him telling him goodnight, and your mom could read it to him before he goes to bed each night. Video tapes, might be easier, so that way he could see you, but if you look sick, then maybe you shouldn't because you don't want him to be scared. Hope this helped a bit. And stay strong, don't stop fighting!

Answer 4

I wish you were my brother. Imagine thinking about your younger brother when u are in such trouble. I think you are wonderful and brave. Enjoy every day as it comes. Life is not certain for any of us and while you know your future, I may pass away tomorrow in an accident. As for your brother, do not worry. He is young enough to think about others, but a certain part of him will always remember you. I remember my uncle who passed away when I was 4. I would like to talk to you more. In the meanwhile, enjoy life to the fullest unlike all the other unfortunate people who feel that their whole life is still in front of them and are bent on spending it in selfishness, misery and envy. God bless You. Iam very proud of even having such a conversation, albeit through the net with such a person. Do not worry about your brother. He is and will be fine. You will always be there for him.

Answer 5

Wow-I'm terribly sorry for you; you are in a very difficult situation. I would just let your brother know that you will not be there for him forever, and that even when you're gone, he should remember that you love him and will always be there for him. I would talk to him yourself a bit first, and then if he is still unclear or confused, your mom could step in and explain anything. You should feel proud for being such an excellent brother to him, I hope you live your life to the fullest, and God Bless.

Answer 6

I don't think there is an easy or simple answer to that . If i was in your position i think i would take him to your favorite spot wether it is your favorite fishig spot , favorite thinking spot or what and where you love to be most . I would take my time and tell him what that spot means to you . I would record it so when he is older he will understandthings a lot beter . and record yourself doing things once in a while so he can have something to watch and reminess of the memories . on a side note though , In the words of Jimmy V , Dont give up , dont ever give up . I wish you the best in this difficult time .

Answer 7

First of all, I'm sorry to hear of ur illness.
It's difficult to explain to a 3-yr-old what dying is. Tell ur 3-yr-old brother stories on heaven, and people will go to heaven when they die. It's just another world to carry on living. It is a far far place where u will be going. Sth like that....

Answer 8

If he sees you as a super hero, you can tell him that God needed one and you will always watch over him and be his personal angel super hero who may not be able to be seen but is always there in his heart and thoughts. He can see you in his dreams when he needs you. That's the best I can think of, sorry. Bless you for being so selfless and compassionate.

Answer 9

ok first im sorry you have cancer.but the dr can not tell you when your going to die.wake up everyday saying i believe in god im not gonna die im gonna live.dont keep thinking or feeling bad about you not being here that long and dont tell your brother anything just keep living.god does things for a reason to see how strong you are dont just except it and say ok im gonna die in a few yrs .instead have faith and say your gonna live.i read a book about a faith in god and the guy said his mom had cancer and was only gonna live a few yrs well everyone else was sad but she wasnt she woke up everyday saying i believe im gonna live .she kept herself happy and strong and her cancer disappeared.so just have faith and good luck.

Answer 10

Wow, you are very brave. But maybe its not the end for you just yet. Listen, my grandmother died of terminal bone cancer--and after seeing her with that I decided to research some alternative methods. I'm a 30 year old Teacher, I have a Bachelors degree, so please dont think I'm just giving you some quacky alternative home remedies. There is a fanstastic book called "Back to Eden" that was written in the 1930's by a doctor and herbologist by the name of Jethro Kloss--he is also the man who invented soy milk. At any rate, he writes of how he had witnessed people dying on their death beds of terminal caner, and how they had been healed through extensive intervention that included strict fasting/friut diets and powerful herbs and roots. He says that cancer is basically a posion that invades the body, and purifying the bloodstream and using cancer-fighting roots and herbs can help the body heal. Please get a copy of that book and read his chapter called "Cancer".

However, if you do indeed begin to feel yourself dying, and I do believe that we can "feel" our death--you should spend as much time as you can with your brother. My aunt died at age 28 in the 80's (when I was 13), and before she died, she started spending lots of time with me. We didn't do much, just layed around the house laughing, cooking, or gossiping. I am sooo glad that she spent time with me before she died when she healthy and pretty--I cherish those good happy memories...You dont have to say "goodbye" to your brother because at age 3 he might not understand--just tell him you love him and that you will see him in heaven one day.

Spend time with your Mom also--please do that.

Death is hard to face. Believe it or not--I was very sick of an illness and almost died last year. I said goodbye to all my family. I even had a near death experienece where my soul left my body and began to travel--but my soul actually came back into my body. I know this sounds strange, but this really did happen as I layed in my moms bed. I waited for a month death to come again, but it never did. I thought for certain I would die. I told my mom about the near death experinece and my mom said it wasn't my time yet.

I was soo sad when I thought I was dying--but after the near death experience--I see how its not like you actually "die". You feel very much alive as you are "traveling". I will say that if nothing else--please know that God is Real and He is COMPLETE LOVE AND MERCY. I hope I dont sound like some holy rolling preacher, but it so true and you must understand this. He would never have taken the time to create you if he didnt absouletly have the best intentions of happiness for you. I dont know how old you are, but please pray and ask Him to hold your hand. We will all die--you, your mom, your brother--everyone who is alive and breathing. But getting to the real life--Paradise--is what this life on earth is all about.If you've done wrong, ask for Forgiveness. I know with every certainty that I will see my grandmother again and aunt again.

I hope I helped. Please get a hold of Back To Eden--its only 10 bucks and it wont hurt to read it.