Does this mean my child was molested? He was 4 when this all began but now is 8?

Question

We have caught our son with (porno) magazines that he says he took from Grandpas house, then we find out he was playing house with our niece and they were both under blankets naked. his answer is always I don't know why I did it or I just wanted to see. We have explained everything to him from how wrong his actions were to questioning if anyone has done this to him and we got a blank expression and no answers..this was 4 years ago now he is 8 and I had internet set up so he could play games online, I put restrictions and I added software to report weekly what he has been doing online..on the report that was recently sent to me he somehow made it past all these restrictions and went on pornographic sites, I asked him why and he said his friends were talking about it and told him what web sites to go to..I even found the paper with the different websites names, his answer was the same I just wanted to see and I don't know why..should I be worried? Punishment? Thank you in advance

Answer 1

My story is almost parallel to yours, magazines, playing house and Internet with my son.
When my son was about 4 I caught him hiding looking at a Playboy magazine. I asked what he was looking at and he said nothing and ran out of the room. I talked to him and told him that I saw what he was looking at and if he had any questions to come to me or his dad or his uncle. . .a couple of months later I walk into the back room and him and his girl cousin (same age) where kissing. . . A few years later I caught him on the Internet as well. . .The kids are just curious about what going on with there bodies, and their counterparts bodies.
My son is now 14 and he is a normal moody teenager that knows more about everything than I do. . . but since I kept the lines of communication open about his body and what he was feeling (that weird feeling you get in your belly when you see a passionate kiss on TV) he talks to me about (I hope) everything. . .his girl friends. . .sex (being safe and how he's not interested . . .yet). . .kissing girls (for real kissing).
You have nothing to worry about . . .as for when he says "I don't know" he probably doesn't know why he was so anxious to look, he just wanted to see what everyone was talking about.
Good luck!

Answer 2

Sexual curiosity is very natural in all of us - and the very young are often no exception. I knew a girl when I was 6 or 7 who's burning desire was to be a Playboy model. In her case, she felt that her father (who didn't live with her through divorce) would love her more if she was like the girls in the mags she found under his bed - and she would want to play Playboy model like all the time and thought we would all want to too.

I don't think punishment is the way to go, but I would want to talk to his teacher and find out about these "friends" that gave him the urls. The bigger deal you make out of this though, the more it will appeal to him. Bordom and indifference is often a better go with these kinds of behaviors - and I would want to talk to the boy and find out exactly what the appeal is.

It would be great if you could get an internet babysitter thing that sounds an alarm when it hits a porno site - that would scare the crap out of him...lol.

It doesn't mean your child was molested, by the way. It just means he has an interest in these things. I have knows a few children who masterbate at an early age or even just explore at bath time, etc. Sexuality is a part of being human - we must just guide our children to express it in an exceptable way.

Peace!

Answer 3

Try to think back.... didn't you "explore"? He's NORMAL!

The porn sites, that's a little different. I'm not real computor literate, but if he is actually watching porn actions, not just looking at naked pictures, that can cause problems.

There are a couple of things to watch for:
1. Does he rub his crotch alot? If he is constantly fondling himself, that is a red flag that he's been molested. I only know this because I had my child evaluated.

2. Go to all his friends and parents and find out how 8 year olds are getting this information. This is odd. A parent or older sibling is passing this information along.

3. When he was 4 what he was doing was normal. At the age of 8, watching porn can have detrimental effects.

4. Don't get mad, be VERY calm, in everything you say to him.

5. You might want to look up information on pediphiles and their techniques on luring children.

6. Pediphiles are usually VERY CLOSELY RELATED,TRUSTED FRIENDS, TRUSTED COMMUNITY LEADERS WHO HAVE ACCESS TO CHILDREN AND ABLE TO GAIN THE CONFIDENCE OF THE PARENTS AND CHILD. Pediphiles work in or have hobbies that keep them in close contact with children.

7. Never let your son hang out with children older than him.

8. Never have an older boy watch or be alone with your son.

9. Do not punish an 8 year old for going on the porn site. Then he will never confide in you. Thank him for being honest and reward his honesty.

10. If you have some serious fears, take him to someone who specializes in this particular field.

Parents tell them it's bad, wrong, etc.... but they fail to mention that sometimes these types of things can make him feel very good. So it can be confusing.

I'm going to stop here. Get some articles, books, and look on the websites. Predetors have written books about how and why they do what they do.

Not all children who have been molested become pediphiles, but all pediphiles have been molested.

I'm not trying to scare you, just passing along informatin. Information is power, so pass it along to your son.

Put the computor in the busiest room of the house and never allow him to use it unless you're in that room.

I was told that anyone who has a web camera attached to their computor is doing stuff they shouldn't be doing. That came from a couple of kids working at the computor store. I took my child in there to see if he had ever seen one before (I didn't know anything about them), but was told to go & do it.

Good luck.

Answer 4

He is just curious. Doesn't sound like he was molested, but should seek counseling b/c he's spending too much time thinking about sex. At his age he should be thinking about more kid stuff. I would find out the names of the kids who were talking about the web sites he went too & tell their parents & make sure you end his contact with them. Get him involved in something, like a sport team, boys scouts, summer camp...something soon! Good Luck

Answer 5

I would desire to ask your self the place you reside. i've got by no skill seen any of that. The worst i've got ever seen are young ones who use the restroom and don't wash their arms afterwards. nonetheless, I see purely as many adults doing a similar... As to abducted and molested in restrooms, i in my opinion would be unable to recollect the final time i've got heard of a case like that. i'm undecided i've got ever heard of a case like that. of their residences, in busy public open areas, in faculties and summer season camps, specific. In restrooms, no. maximum folk of kidnapping i've got heard with reference to the youngsters have been abducted desirable from the line. I advise in restrooms, risk is the mothers and dads are waiting desirable exterior. There are much less risky places for toddler molesters and kidnappers to objective some thing.

Answer 6

It is normal for kids to be curious about their bodies and others. You shouldnt scold him just explain that those things are not for children and watch him while he is online or dont let him get on. I would seek counsling also but try not to make a really big deal about it sometimes that can make things worse!

Answer 7

I don't know what to say other then take him to a therapist or counselor, I hope he will be OK, I am interested to see what others will answer. Hope you get the answers and help you need

Answer 8

hes a boy! He's exploring as does everyone!
Just like the first time he realised he had a penis and then wouldnt leave it alone... He's growing up. Expect that and more. As he gets older its only going to get worse.

Think about what you were like when you were a boy (if your male)

Answer 9

I was going to answer but thinking4u hit the nail on the head. His answer is very informative.