My brother in-law uses our computer for inappropriate intentions. What should I do?

Question

My husband and I live with my mother in-law, my older divorced brother in-law & his girlfriend (with the last two it wasn’t voluntary on our part). The thing is both my brother in-law & his girlfriend often use our computer, sometimes without permission. Months ago, I was looking for something that I browsed before from the internet history and found that my brother in-law used our computer to look at porn and hook up with girls through Friendster (that’s where he met his current girlfriend). It’s none of our business but we don’t like that he opened it on our computer. At first it was just me who found it and I wasn’t sure wether I should tell my husband so I deleted it. Over time he kept opening it and I kept erasing his tracks, until a few months ago my husband found it himself. I was really glad that he did because it bothered me and I didn’t know how to tell him. He told his mother and his mother talked to my brother in-law about it, supposedly told him not to do it again,

at least not with our computer, which is a laugh since he’s 35, not 15. But lately he started opening it again. I’d open the computer and I’d find pictures of girls with skimpy underwear with messages like “Your *** looks so hot that I masturbated on your picture so many times” from him. Or he’d leave his letters open that said “I had anal sex with some girl last week, wanna try it with me? No need for lubrication with me”. It made me sick to my stomach and I hated opening my computer with those on it. What should I do? So far I dare not tell him off because it would upset my husband, even though I think he’s pathetic. I’d probably be more sympathetic if he was a good person, but he’s one of the most selfish & thoughtless people I know. Plus he likes to judge and comment about other people on things that he does himself. I’ve always kept things confidential whenever my husband or my mother in-law confided in me regarding them,

but since I found this out myself I didn’t feel like I owed anyone anything to keep this quiet. I would very much like to throw this porn thing right at his & his girlfriend’s face.

Answer 1

Why dont you and your husband get a place of your own and you wont have to worry about it?Your mother in law doesnt seem to mind his behavior or else she would boot him out.If all else fails, put a "user password" on it and he wont be able to use the computer at all.Also show the things on his computer to his g/f, just for fun and giggles of course.This will teach him that if he uses your computer like he has been, he will pay the consequences-a mad girlfriend.

Answer 2

First of all if your brother inlaw had any respect for you he wouldn't be doing it.Second you can go onto your computer settings and block all those sites and any other sites like that.You can also change you pass words if he uses your account or you can go in and wipe out his account totally.Third tell his girlfriend would be your last choice.And if your husbandloved you and really understood how you felt about his brother doing the things on your computer he wpould tell his brother to stop.

~Good Luck & God Bless~

Answer 3

Yenny, your b-in-law has no business doing it on your comp and you should tell it to your husband and ma-in-law. They better be able to control him.

How can you tell,he doesn,t do it to embarrass/ or worse lure you into having sex with him. I mean you don't know his intentions, specially when his personality matches my doubts. Are you sure, he's not eyeing you (pardon me, for being gross) and masturbating thinking that you are enjoying his act.

If it still persists, cut the broadband for some time from your home.

Answer 4

The only reason why you should go at this in a private matter is because if his girlfriend does not know then you will be hurting her and what has she done to you to deserve to be hurt by you, then you'll look like the bad guy.Go to him privately with your husband and dig in his a--.

Answer 5

If it's your computer, you decide who uses it and how they use it. You need to step up and set boundaries - and then enforce them. It may mean that, whenever you or your husband are not using the computer, you unplug and/or disable it somehow.

Your brother-in-law will continue to abuse your kindness - but only as long as you allow him to.
Find your backbone and stand up to him - and make sure your husband does, as well.

Good luck!

Answer 6

If you don't want him on your computer, password protect it. If it is OK for him to use it, as long as what he does is appropriate, then block the website, or certain material, such as porn.