hey pls share some good jokes with me yaar
2007-03-25 02:22:56 · 12 answers · asked by hellopb 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
watch this out:
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
these are my originals:
LAW OF EXAM: You suddenly remember the right answer to the question while giving the copy to the invigilator
LAW OF GAMBLING: Suddenly you start bidding more and more money when you think that you are becoming lucky, just to find out you are not
LAW OF CHILLI: You were searching for the sugar because of that spicy thing and you find it, but now you no longer need it
LOTTERY THEOREM: You win a lottery which is valid for a day but sorry, traffic jam in bank way
LAW OF LADIES: You go to the golf club telling your wife the truth but she didn't phone your friend to confirm, you think you are lucky and take
the risk the next day, just to find out you are not so lucky
DENTIST THEOREM: The week long tooth ache ends on Saturday, what about the Sunday dentist appointment ?????
LAW OF PARTY: You go to the door in towel thinking its your parents, but sorry, you forgot about the party saturday evening at your home
LAW OF IMPORTANT PAPERS: You just see the garbage van take the garbage, then you have a phone from your husband,
he needs some papers urgently
LAW OF INSURANCE POLICY: When its a theft in your house, the insurance company asks for the papers and you suddenly remember
you were playing with a paper plane a few days before
LAW OF YAHOO! ANSWERS: The right answer to a question strikes in your mind, you answer it, but just to be disappointed
after seeing all the answers
LAW OF APRIL FOOLS: You think that you will not be embarassed in front of all this April 1 because it didn't happen last year,
but you are not so right
LAW OF COLLEGE PROFESSOR: You reach the college after your first class skippingthis year just to find out the first page of this
year's attendence register has been filled
FRIDAY NIGHT THEOREM: You get an invitation to the first friday party of the year, but your parents going out friday and you have a little brother
LAW OF COUSIN ARRIVAL: One of your boring distant cousin coming on friday, what about the first planned movie premiere of the year ?????
LAW OF MOVIE TICKETS: You left the queue to get some popcorn, but you later find out there is no queue !!!!!
LAW OF GRANDMA DARLING: What a surprise, she can date you only this week on saturday, but as soon as you reach home, you remember your grandma's birthday
2007-03-25 20:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Here are some of the jokes i enjoyed.
A lawyer married a woman who had
previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that
be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept
telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never
really sure how it was supposed to function, but he
said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything
checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get
the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew
he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able
to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic
process but wanted three years to research, implement,
and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he
thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was
his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice
product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was
talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at
it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did
was......... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed."
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter's bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, "That's normal, especially on her wedding night."
She sneaked by her second oldest daughter's room and heard her laughing. "That's normal too," she said, smiling to herself.
Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter's room where she didn't hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night's noises. "Well Mom," she replied, "you always said if it hurt, I should scream."
"You're absolutely right sweetheart," the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. "Now why were you laughing?" she asked.
"You always said if it tickled, I could laugh," she answered. "True enough, honey." The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
"Now it's your turn, baby," she said turning to her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
"Mom, don't you remember? You always told me to never talk with my mouth full."
Listen To This.. What a Crazy World..?
- If money dosen't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle?
- Why do we call it building when its already built?
- If its true that we are here to help others, than what are others here for?
- If you are not supposed to drink and drive than why do bars have parking lots?
Why? why? why?
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.
Men keep'a scrollin'...
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll
Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
A. ME!!!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch dog.
Q. Why did the tomato turn red?
A. It saw the salad dressing!
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!
Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A. At the BP station!
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A. Odor in the court.
Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A. Dam!
Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A. They don't have the guts.
How are my jokes?
Please give me a reply.........
2007-03-26 04:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by King of Hearts 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Saturdays & Sundays are not strong or healthy because they are the weekends, come to think about it neither are the other days because they are the week days.
2007-03-25 15:03:55 · answer #3 · answered by the Tramp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are the "weak end"
2007-03-26 01:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by useretia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are the "weak end"
2007-03-25 09:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by anthony c 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
B Cos they are WEEK ends(WEAK ends)
2007-03-25 09:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by Amit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bcoz dey r weekends
2007-03-28 08:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
b'cause they are week days (weak days)
2007-03-28 01:15:14 · answer #8 · answered by shriya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they are weekends
nice one
2007-03-27 10:10:36 · answer #9 · answered by melovedogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theyre the "week end"
2007-03-25 09:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by AshleyMarie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋