What do I do about a 28 year old babysitter who left my young children alone???

Question

My good friend is a 28 year old male, he has cared for my children many times when I am there and also when I am at work. I considered him responsible to care for my kids and I trusted that my children were safe in his care. Today my 5 year old told me that when I was at work the babysitter left him and his brother who is my youngest son aged 4, alone at home while he went to the shops for 10-15 minutes. I am so angry about this and feel sick to my stomache at all the things that could have gone wrong in his absence. I rang him to talk to him about it and he confirmed that it is true he did leave them at home alone. He was too busy to talk at the time so I am calling him back in one hour. I am so angry. Im wondering how other mothers would react in this situation...

Thank you to everyone who has answered, I posted this question because I am furious and I know I could be acting out of pure anger if I yell at him or end my friendship with him. I feel like I can never trust him again with my kids. I needed some perspective. Thank you.

Answer 1

Fire him.

Answer 2

Like others said if he's your good friend than I would try to calm down and discuss it with him. Let him know that your children are very important to you and that you do not appreciate him leaving them alone. Let him know that you cannot allow him to be your babysitter anymore. I know it can be a struggle to take young children everywhere, but risking their lives is never worth it. It only takes a minute for children to find something to get into even when you look away for one a minute. Imagine what can happen in 10-15 unsupervised minutes. Where I live 7 kids died in a house fire when their mother left them alone. I think they said one of the children had been playing with a lighter. I'm not sure how long the mother was gone and how old the children were, but either way it's just something you don't do. Just the same as not leaving them in the car either.

Answer 3

I think that you fire him as a babysitter. What he did was definitely wrong, and you're right - anything could have gone wrong during his absence. It's just like leaving a child in the bathtub - I've heard stories of people leavng the tub while their child was bathing, and the child almost died in the 1 minute that the parent was gone. It's scary and it happens! He doesn't seem responsible enough to be caring for your children. It may take you a while to get over this incident, and resume your friendship with this man, but I don't think you should let go of the friendship because of this. If he has been a friend of yours for a long time, it's definitely not worth it. Just don't let him watch the kids anymore, since he seems to be lacking a bit of common sense. Good luck with this! I hope everything works out!

Answer 4

Don't let what he did affect how you feel about other babysitters in the future, let him know that you are angry and that he diminished your trust for him. Explain to him the dangers of leaving a child alone even for a second. Tell him within the 10 or 15 min he was gone, the kids could have burned the entire house down w/ them in it. There have been many news reports of that exact same thing. I wouldn't risk it again with him. Don't just be angry with him, do something to change it and the next babysitter you should make sure they have good solid valid references and a good solid foundation in the education of caring for children, including "early childhood developement, cpr, etc...

Answer 5

First do not confront him again. Just let him know that he will no longer be watching your children.
Second I would let CPS know what has occurred so that he will have to think twice about watching someone else's children.
Third find someone else that you can trust with your children.

I wish you the best. I know it is not easy I have been there but you can raise them without the 28 year old. By letting CPS know that you do not agree with him leaving the children alone you are also covering your butt in case he calls and says that he has done it before and you did not do anything. Then they would go after you for neglect of children. This way they will go after him. It will only be written up and he may have to attend a child rearing class but you will not be charged.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Happened to my sister, the babysitter left an 18month old baby alone for over two hours. It so happened my sister was returning home and a neighbour asked her something and while at the neighbour's house, she saw the babysitter leaving the house. She went home to find the toddler in his room, the door was shut. It was instant dismissal (and she was highly paid too). She never even apologized.
I think you can remain friends with this guy, but babysitting is out of the question from now on, no matter what his reason for leaving your children may be.

Answer 7

One reaction is not to let him watch your kids anymore. Has he done it before?? If this is just a 1-time thing, then you could forgive him, especially if you're hard-put to find another good babysitter. If this isn't the case, then just have someone else to watch your kids. Hopefully you'll have calmed down by the time you talk to him. I agree that he shouldn't have done that. He should've taken the kids along if he needed something at the store. I'm sure you wouldn't have objected to that. Just keep your cool and hey, if you feel he can't be trusted again, just don't ask him to watch the kids anymore.

Answer 8

that is awful!!!! i really feel for you! id feel exactly the same as you do! id be furious at him. anything can happen in 10-15 mins!
i would never be able to trust this person again. leaving your children alone with someone is hard enough as it is and to find out someone has gone and done such a thing is truely sickening.
hes put something really bad on u know because now u are always going to worry if your children are going to be ok with the new sitter etc. i hope he feels real shame for what hes done!

Answer 9

I can see being mad about leaving kids alone for 15-20 minutes so he could go to the shops. And you are all going to think I'm irresponsible as well. I don't have a choice. Mon-Fri. I have to leave the girls (they are asleep) inside while I go get my son off the bus. (he gets off in our Driveway) But I have to be out there or they will NOT let him off the bus. Their policy is if there is no viechal in the drive way and nobody out there waiting for the child. the child goes back to school and the parents are called to come and get them. My husband has the car. I don't have a choice. I have to be out there to get him. usually his sisters are asleep.


I'm going to guess that nobody lets their kids play in their yard by them selves? I have a 6,4, and 2 year old. the older 2 would not be able to play outside if they couldn't be out there by them selves. I check on them from time to time. but I can't leave the 2 year old inside alone (usually this only happens during nap time). Our front yard is almost all the way fenced in. and they know they must stay in the front yard. They know the rulse for being outside. and they follow them. They are both very smart for their age.

Answer 10

Well it is no doubt you would be angry with him, that is your natural motherly instict. However, this friend of yours can not possible how your friendship in such high regards as you do if he were to leave your children. I would ask him why he didn't take them with him. You should definetly not allow him to care for your children anymore. If something were to happen in that short amount of time, unfortunately most courts would also find you to blame for leaving them in the care of an unfit adult. You sound to be a great Mom and your children to be your world, just do what is best for you and them. Sometimes as parents we find it convient to allow our friends to "keep an eye" on our little ones but especially when they don't have little one's of their own we as parents need to be very particular as to who we will trust our little everythings to.

Answer 11

Sorry, but this person is not a "good friend" - friends don't place 'friends' youngsters live's in jeopardy and he certainly did! You are a very lucky lady to have learned about this incident and I beg you, DO NOT ever leave your babes with him again. There is no excuse for this behavior and who knows if this was the first time.

And that he didn't have time to "talk about it"? This guy is obviously a very busy man, too busy to tend your most precious 'treasures'.

Good luck to you and your babes.