Getting this girl out of the house!!!!?

Question

I have known this girl for a while, as friends, jus lately shes had a real tough time of things. I realised i liked her alot a few weeks back and have been tryin to get her out of the house for a bit. Trouble is she has become so closed up, she never leaves the house apart from work and college. Where we live there is little to do.
I figured if i asked her out as she is at the minute she may well say no and become more isolated, so i was goin to bide my time and jus make her feel good and happier. The problem comes in the fact that she really is total introverted now. She keeps saying she wants a boyfriend, but i think it may just be talk. I have tied being there for her, but just lately she has taken to just not speaking to anyone. I like this girl, but arnt sure as to wether i go after her, or just let her go, and move on???? i don't know. She is worth chasing, but only if it is possible. I don't know how she feels about me, im struggling to shake the old friend 'tag'?? ideas??

Another little problem i forgot to mention was the fact that she has ahd 3 'proper' bf's so far (we are both 18) and 2 have cheated on her, or just generally been vile to her (called her fat, when she is bout 9 stone) - kind of complicates things a bit as now she is a little bit scared of having a bf i think. And btw, the 3rd bf left her for another girl.

Answer 1

Present her with lovely yellow roses and tell her that her outfit is exquisite, then tell her that you would really like to go on a date with her. Persistence is key, my friend!

Answer 2

You need to go bold with this one dude. Let her know exactly how you feel and take the lead. Plan several things that you want to do with her and give her an option. The one that she seems the most interested in is the one you should choose. Be insistent. It sounds like you already have her trust and you know each other pretty well, so stop pu*sy footin' around. I was like that at one time, introverted and difficult to get out of the house. It took someone not taking no for an answer to get me out and about. I was glad for it after awhile, since I really was becoming a bore. You said she's worth chasing, and you might not even have to chase her. Sounds like you already have her where you want her. At least you don't have to beat other dudes off of her to get close. Just GO FOR IT! NOW!!! Good luck!

Answer 3

she sounds like she is depressed. If you really care about her I'd suggest talking to a therapist about it. They might have some more ideas of what you can do to help. Consider though that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. She may deny having any kind of problem and for all I know she may not, she may just be a natural introvert. You can try asking her out in a group setting with you and some other friends. I wouldn't pursue a relationship right now, she sounds like she may have some emotional issues to work through on her own first before she could give herself totally to a relationship. She is lucky to have such a caring friend.

Answer 4

Good news is, if your friend is still going to work & classes she's not suffering from agoraphobia. So, what could it be? Sounds like she is depressed & needs a clinical diagnosis - possibly some meds. Is she worth chasing, yes, but it will take work & dedication on your part. If you really like her & would be in it for the long haul - good, bad & ugly - go for it. If you don't think you have the stamina for that you still can be a friend & suggest she go to the doctor or a counselor at school. Tell her you will go with her. If you know her folks, talk to them too. She may resent it - but she may not really realize what she is doing either. Depression is difficult, but it can be overcome with a lot of different treatments - not just therapy. Good luck to you & the girl you hope to be your gf.

Answer 5

Man, this woman is TROUBLE. She most likely was traumatized in the past and has post traumatic stress disorder.

She may not be perceiving things in a normal way and may see you (a male) as threating in some way. Perhaps, a female friend could visit her and see if she wants help.
For now, stay clear until she has more stability in her life.

She's not emotionally available now. Perhaps you could seek insight as to why you are seeking an emotionally unavailable woman at this time in your life. Seek healthy relationships with people who are not isolating.

Give the woman some space from men. She needs a feminine touch.

I hope this helps.

Answer 6

Well go for it!! You two seem to know each other good enough. You know the bad habits and stuff. You never know. The answers she gives you might suprise you. She is probaly waiting for you to ask her out. That's why she brung that topic up is so you could get the idea. If you don't make a move now. I guess this relationship won't make a difference. And you will regret it later on.

Answer 7

Seriously If you like her then tell her... if you cant get her out of the house tho do you think you guys really have that much in common. If she doesnt want to go out and you really like her then stay in... rent some movies order some chinese food and spend some time together... tell her how you feel and ask her whats up with the hermit thingy... maybe she just doesnt want to go where you want to go and you should toss out some more ideas

Answer 8

Maybe she feels uneasy about going out in public. Start small with home movies or some other indoor activities. Find out what she likes to do or would like to do for fun and then invite her to a place that has the things she enjoy.

Answer 9

Maybe at the moment, because of the frame of mind she is in, being a friend is probably all you can be to her. If she is important to you just be there for her and when the time is right ask her if she is interested in having a relationship with you.

Answer 10

You've got to let her know how you feel! Ask her if you can come over and make dinner one night and talk to her, if it doesn't work out at least you tried! It's better to know than not!