Does Anyone Think I Ought To Say Something?

Question

Last week I had to see for the first time a Community Psychiatric Nurse. Now before I get to the nitty gritty I need emphasise that I respect these workers along with all other NHS workers. (I was one at one time)

I was talking to him for the first time about my 'problems' and on several occasions when I looked at him he was looking elsewhere in the room and not showing any interest.
And although when I asked him questions about things I had previously mentioned he seemed to follow the 'plot'
If this happens again then do you think ought to say something on the lines of Are you showing interest in my case?
Or should I stay silent?
Thank you

Answer 1

Hi there,
personally I find NHS community psychiatric nurses...well the one i had in particular, (as i shouldn't stereotype them all) a disgrace!!! I was sent to one in my local hospital at last year at the age of 19, she shouted at me, made me out to be pathetic and after 3 sessions told me she couldn't help me..even though i was severly depressed and suicidal!

Anyway...I think that for your first visit he shout have made an effort to look more interested and they need to be the ones to make the extra effort on the first visit, knowing how tense and anxious people usually are about seeing any mental health professional. However give him another shot...if he does the same again either confront him or ask you doctor or whoever refered you to get you another one..the only way your gonna get the right help and support is by talking to someone you trust and who you feel cares about your well-being!

Best of luck!

Answer 2

Obviously you don't feel comfortable with his body language even though he seems to have 'followed the plot,' as you put it. I've had some experience with psychiatric nurses myself (in the private sector) and it wasn't good - they were far too quick to rush to judgement; in your place I'd be afraid to put myself in a position where I antagonised someone who had a lot of power. (I give that as prelude because I may be being over-cautious in my response).

So, the issue is how to get him to make eye-contact without getting his back up. My suggestion would be that you find ways in which he has to look at you - of which the easiest might be to draw quick diagrams of what you're trying to explain (the idea is to get him to look at the paper, and therefore at you) or make explanations where he has to follow your hand-movements - nothing too complicated, but anything to stop him staring out of the window or whatever.

If that doesn't work, then I'd stop talking and look at whatever he was looking at and when he says 'go on,' you say 'sorry, I thought there was something out there that had surprised you.'

Does that help?

Answer 3

One of the ways you can know if someone is listening to you is to ask a question and wait for the answer, Some people can't concentrate on one thing at a time, but then again somebody doesn't have to be looking at you to be following what you are saying. Everybody behaves differently.

Answer 4

You should be talking to someone whom you feel is showing proper interest. You deserve that much. You could say something like "I dont feel you are giving my case the proper attention it deserves, if this continues I will be finding someone else". But dont stay totally silent. Part of the reason for talking to people in this field is to help make you comfortable mentally. If you think he is not paying attention, you wont be giving him your full attention, hence, never talking about all your problems. Good luck.

Answer 5

The customer is always right. People tend to forget that a medical caregiver/patient relationship is also a provider/customer relationship. If you are not satisfied with the service you are receiving, speak up.

It may be, however, that this nurse is one who listens best without eye contact, since you say that he seemed to be clear on what you had said. It's not uncommon for people to stare into space when listening because they are concentrating on aural input.

Still, it is important to voice your concerns and you have a right to a satisfactory answer.

Answer 6

I agree with reindeer, it's not professional at all. I'd try & catch him with a question, then tell him you're not comfortable with the way he's been acting. If he still doesn't change or even better, if you're not comfortable with him, then talk to your GP or somone to change him. you must feel you're being supported & cared for, otherwise it's useless.
In my opinion, this guy isn't going to change (that fast)but it'd be kind to tell him what he's doing wrong so he has a chance to change or doesn;t do it to others & then ask for another CPN.

Answer 7

Perhaps you are coming toward the truth...you need to help yourself. Talking to a pro may help in showing you how it sounds officially...but stop counting on other people. It's your responsability to get yourself right. But it's the responsability of others not to abuse you, which is why you certainly have "problems" in the first place.

Answer 8

I think you should say something. I know it's probably hard enough talking to someone about your 'problems', never mind talking to someone who doesn't really seem to be listening/showing interest. Plus it's his job to listen! If he's not doing his job properly he needs to be told...

Answer 9

I would definitely say something.You never know he may be checking you out,to see if you are there to be helped, or just going through the the motions.

Answer 10

Some people just aren't good at eye contact.. but yeah- ask him questions and try and catch him out..

If you do- yeah totally say something.