Mother in law keeps trying to get ingredients for family dressing out of me.It was passed on from my grandma to my mom to me..and I plan to pass it to my daughters..It's not to be passe to anyoneelse..this is why it's a family recipe!She also keeps trying to get me to cook it whenever olidays come around..even though she's thehost and we're supposed to be eating her food!How to get her to stop?
2007-03-17 22:09:42 · 9 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I offer to make different sides,or desserts..she always goes for the dressing after I've already told her.
2007-03-17 22:42:13 · update #1
Give her a fake recipe. When it doesn't taste the same as yours, tell her you don't know what she did that was so wrong, yours never turned out like this. For the holidays take a box of stuffing. Tell her you've been so busy you didn't have time to cook anything else.
2007-03-18 00:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
The way i see it, that is the way for her to pay you and your family the ultimate compliment. She likes it so much that she wants others to enjoy as well. It isnt written anywhere that when we are invited to dinner you shouldnt bring anything. You are being incluided in the family when you are asked to bring the dressing. I think there is more than a recipe going on. But if you dont want to hurt her feelings, pull her aside and tell her that your family only passes this recipe through the daughters and that certainly you wont break tradition, even if you want to. I really think its kind of silly, because you dont know if your daughters will ever be interested in making this dressing and then the recipe will die with you. What you can do is prepare some for her every once in a while and give it to her as a gift. She is the mother of your spouse, in her own way, she considers you family. Consider that before you are all aggravated over something that is so, not important.
Good luck
2007-03-18 05:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by nyenelra 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From the heart, I read your question three times. Honestly I think the recipe is a camo because usually ladies enjoy exchanging recipes especially with "family". Which is something I think you are struggling with.
She's your other mother...you married her son who now also has another mom. Best thing to do is to accept that and get to know her...at least you already have something in common. Since there's a huge clue you both like to cook I'd bet there are recipes she's got stashed that your daughters (her grandsweeties) would like in the future also. You can't have a war if the other party doesn't show up so I'd kick the war part to the curb and spread some heartfelt good cheer....
2007-03-18 05:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The recipe must be rally good and since it is a family recipe she apparently can not buy it in a store.
Make the dressing for family functions with you making the dressing then she will still be able to enjoy it with out you having to give up the recipe.
I have a family recipe also and I am honored when my in-laws ask for it to be made but I make it at home and bring it this keeps the secret going on.
And as far as us nut jobs that the earlier person was refering to apparently tradition is something they know nothing about.
Some things are tradition it is good to keep the tradition going, but not good to alienate the in laws, believe it or not they are family now.
2007-03-18 12:04:37 · answer #4 · answered by Marla D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep telling her "no."
Personally I think it's silly to care who knows what is in which recipe. I can understand if you're making money from it but not otherwise. Then it just seems even more selfish. We need to make money ad trade secrets matter in terms of survival. Not sharing it because she isn't a blood relative seems aristocratic and outdated. Besides, as your mother-in-law she is family.
Perhaps you don't want her to be family and use this as a weapon against her.
Now let's talk etiquette.
Sure, she's the host for holidays. Yes, she's preparing the meal. That's a huge undertaking and a pretty darn nice thing for a person to do. It is in good etiquette to bring something to the meal as a sign of thanks and respect as well as a desire to help out.
You know she would enjoy your special dressing but, while she is opening her house to you and cooking for you, trying to please you and ensure your happiness, you can't make and bring this one little thing?
Here's something to consider:
Family is what happens. Someone gives birth or gets married and then you are, suddenly, involved in the lives of these people. Friends we choose and they choose us. You will have your daughters because you had sex and it resulted in a children. Will you choose to be their friends or are they simply the result of evolution and/or God's plan?
Your mother-in-law is family but, it would seem, not someone you care about enough to even show a tiny gesture of thanks to by bringing a silly, little salad dressing to a dinner she prepared and chose to invite you to.
You can't get her to stop without being mean because you are already being mean.
Seriously, if you had left out the bit about holiday dinners I could accept strange and exclusive blood-line traditions but you went on to explain how you take her efforts for granted.
That's not something nice people do.
2007-03-18 05:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by ophelliaz 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
On holidays in my family, everyone brings something to the hosts' house. It's a family dinner, so family participates. We don't just show up and eat. It's DRESSING. I think you're over dramatizing it. This is your biggest problem with mom in law? How lucky you are. If someone asked my great aunt for her kick as* dressing recipe, she'd gladly give it to them. In fact, tell your mother in law to email me & I'll give her my aunts recipe. It'll taste way better than your rinky dink top secret super duper holier than thou sh*t on a shingle anyways. Find something important to whine about. Or at least less stupid.
I just read some of the other answers that were posted while I was writing this one--congratulations, you've found at least one more nut job that thinks a recipe is equal to the Holy Grail...maybe y'all can get together and compare notes on how to protect the "sacred" recipe to the death....ridiculous....
2007-03-18 05:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by dmarie2101 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Respectfully tell her that it is a family recipe intended only for your side of the family to be passed on generation to generation. We have a family recipe in our family too. Thankfully no one else has asked for it. Or they would be told the same thing. Take care.
2007-03-18 05:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
pass it to your daughter when they are in their 30's.....at that age they will uphold the tradition as it was pass unto you...don't let your mother in law know..just tell when ever she wants to taste the dressing,you will make it for her..i know a few that are in your situation..i have a cousin doesn't even give out his secret recipe to his WIFE!..his kids doesn't even know about the recipe for the dressing..he said,he will bring it to his grave..which means know one will know about his recipe..so,don't let your wife or mother in law make you surrender the recipe..just tell them you are respecting the ways it was pass down to you..if,still get mad again..just say I STILL LOVE YOU ALL....don't give IN.....keep it sacred...ok.......
2007-03-18 05:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by virgo7134 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmm
hmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
2007-03-18 05:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by maki" The time begins Now 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋