Military men and fidelity.?

Question

I've been dating a soldier for nearly a year now and I always hear negative remarks on military men, especially when they are deployed, like mine is right now. I would just like to hear some opinions on military men and can many of them be faithful?

Answer 1

Some of them are faithful, but honestly I think they are a rarity. I am in Germany and I got to know a lot of Soldiers....

Answer 2

It has nothing to do with weather he's military or not. Does he show integrity in all that he does?

Mine has been home 9 years of our 18years of marriage and has never once been unfaithful. Don't be looking for a soldier look for a real man.

If you have questions about his integrity and commitment to you then maybe you should look elsewhere. The military places extra strain on marriages, that much is true - deployments, duty when it's most inconvenient, missed birthdays/anniversaries/holidays, being "married" to the branch they're in, etc -- but it doesn't automatically equate to infidelity.

Most of the military marriages are faithful ones -- the ones that aren't are the ones that get the press. Yes there are those out there who are gonna cheat no matter what but they aren't the majority. ALso the divorce rate is high - however it's more from stress from the things I mentioned above and the current op tempo rather than infidelity. Not everyone can hack it.

Answer 3

There is always that handful who will fool around while deployed. But they are the same ones, who if they were civilians, who would fool around on company financed trips (or even in their own town).
For the most part, military men are faithful to their families. I, personally, have been to 32 countries (some more than once) and am proud to say I have never been unfaithful to my wife. And the married men I was stationed with that I saw on liberty may have had drinks with a bar girl, but nothing more. I'm too cheap to do even that. he he I'd rather spend my money touring countries and eating local foods than blowing it on cheap booze and cheap women.
Now, have you ever thought about the women we leave behind? How can your bf be sure of YOUR fidelity while he's gone? When I was in Japan, a certain ship was being home ported from California to Japan. Many of the single sailors in our area were looking forward to the ship coming because it was bringing dependents. The wives' reputations preceded the ship. And the stories proved true. The ship would get underway, and party time was the norm for a LOT of the YOUNG wives. Some of the older wives took those young ladies to task and threatened to have them sent stateside if they kept up their whoring around.

Answer 4

Okay this comes STRAIGHT from experiance. I was married to a Marine with whom I have 2 children with. He is a Marine, we had been together for 5 yrs and I put up with a lot from him and his cheating ways. Though most of it was just what I found in emails. Eventually not even a year after we were married he was cheating and this time took it outside of the emails. It ended in divorce, I was a faithful USMC wife. Just because I had a bad experiance with one Marine, I didn't let that scare me away from dating another. Which I currently am. And have been for 3 months now. Not all military men cheat, it is the MAN behind the uniform. And yes most military wives cheat. You could easily post a question that asks this. TRUST is what makes a relationship work.

Answer 5

If they'd cheat they'd do it no matter if they were military or not. It has to do with their moral compass not what their career is. Now if your man is hanging out with known cheaters I'd say to be concerned. I've noticed that the faithful guys stay away from the ones that screw around behind their wife's back.....they don't want to be considered guilty by association! Anyway I think that the majority are faithful. And that seems to be the consensus among the wives that I know....and many of them have had their husband's deployed several times to various parts of the world. One thing to remember when you are involved with someone in the military...people who aren't around soldiers often times act like soldiers are just animals that can't control their urges and that is just not true. If you trust your boyfriend then that's what matters. Not what someone else says or if someone else is cheating. Just base your opinions on him and him alone.

Answer 6

When you look at the historical evidence from past wars on how many military men cheated then it's astonishingly high. It's also amazingly low when you consider just how long those guys were away from family. If you ever get the chance to watch "The History of Sex" on the Discovery or the History channels it's very interesting and as they move into the modern era they cover the history of sex through WWI, WWII, Vietnam and Korea.

I imagine it's much the same in today's military. The guys (and girls) in the service are only human and sex is a human desire and need and way of connecting and way to affirm you're still alive and way to relieve stress....

I don't believe my husband has ever cheated while away but I do believe that when I take all the factors into consideration that I might be able to survive it if he ever did.

Answer 7

Gonna answer this from a faithful army wife's perspective, and will answer for my faithful soldier husband. It depends on the relationship. If the marriage is not on solid ground, then deployments just give each spouse opportunity to stray. In Iraq, males and females arent supposed to be in the rooms together. They can also get in huge trouble for cheating. But it happens. And PLENTY of wives cheat when left at home. And to Navy Sailor, NOT ALL WIVES ARE LIKE THAT. Dont assume it is all...say "many" "a few" "some" but dont makes statements like military wives go get pregnant by their boyfriends because they cant stay home alone for 6 months!!! I can hold out indefinitely while my husband goes and does his job!! And back to my answer....You can go to the PX and tell the difference between the faithful wives and the whores. If if the slutty wife is dressed appropriately (which usually they are not), their eyes say it all.

But it takes both spouses to make it work through a deployment. I send letters almost daily, care packages weekly (mission munchies, personal hygiene, homebaked goodies from home, with plenty to share, toys, etc), emails too. He gets to log on fairly regularly, so we talk by IM and get to turn on the webcam when the connection is strong enough. Gotta use that webcam. Webcam is very important!!! Wont say much more about that, but you do what you gotta do. Husband sets up a computer in every room of the house so that no matter where I am I can hear him log on. Even if he logs on in the middle of the night, he buzzes me and I get up. We even have the webcams set up so that if he just wants to watch me sleep he can do that. So I work 110% to make sure I am there for my husband, and he works 110% to get access to a computer or phone.

So it takes both to work 110% to get through it. And it requires that you COMMUNICATE not just talk. There is a difference. My husband and I have been through 2 deployments together and getting ready for our 3rd. And we always come out the other end a stronger and closer couple than we were before. It is possible, but takes alot of work! Good luck to you!!

Answer 8

It doesnt matter if the guy is military or not. If a guy is going to cheat then he is going to cheat. My husband is in the military and was deployed for a year and he was faithful. So were alot of his friends. It just depends on the guy. As long as the two of you know your faithful then I wouldnt worry about all the trash people talk about military men.

Answer 9

This question gets asked a lot.

Lets answer the question honestly.

It all depends on the person. If you do not know him well then you will not know, especially after only a year.

I have seen married guys (with kids) cheat and the same not cheat in a situation with girls hanging all over him. "Single" guys with a girlfriend (serious or casual) do the same. I think you can answer this for yourself.

Why is it that military related people get this question? There can be the guy working for Allstate, Microsoft , or Freds fat french fries on a buisness trip to Oklahoma who will cheat (or not). Traveling buisnessmen are notorious for this. Airline pilots who travel worldwide? Or, closer to home, cheating with the neighbor next door, distance creates nothing, it's all about you trusting or not.

Answer 10

They're essentially the same as any other man (or woman) in that distance makes a relationship harder than when you're round the corner.

The difference is that the job they do and the uniform(regardless of country, rank or branch) makes them an easily identifiable target-I mean I bet a good percentage of plumbers(for example) cheat but they're not so easy to point the finger at are they?
I mean you don't hear blokes in pubs going 'Bl**dy plumber's who do they think they are with their blue overalls?' do you?

I've heard tales of men cheating like sex is about to be rationed in the same way as I've heard of husbands returning from ops to find wives have been squaring away half the local male population in their absence-and in some cases have taken the kids and set up home!

In all truth you have to trust in your own relationship and treat the jungle drums as what they are.

Trust him until you have reason not to-in the same way as he's trusting you no doubt?

Answer 11

Any man can be faithful. I was married for the last 2 years I was in the Army. I never cheated on my wife. And that time included a 6 month deployment to Saudi Arabia and Iraq for Desert Storm.