If you have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?

Question

How true do you think this statement is? Do you think that if you don't have anything nice to say you should keep your mouth shut, or do you believe everything and anything that is said should be taken as a valid point.

Sorry the statement is if you dont have anything nice to say dont say it all. Im in a rush need to get to work, but I will read all your responces later

Answer 1

I don't think it has to be an "either"--"or." Some people are very thin skinned, & when they ask your opinion, they don't REALLY want it unless it pleases them. Others honestly ask for input. You have to make the judgment. This of course, is only with your friends. At times, a friend may obviously be going in the wrong direction, & instead of TELLING them, or giving advice, ASK them questions that will help them help themselves. As for strangers, I would just keep my mouth shut. Except--sometimes when I see someone in a store, for example, who clearly isn't "happy" with themselves, I'll point out a "positive," like--what great shoes you're wearing, where did you get them?" You'd be surprised how this can cheer someone up. Your question can't possibly have a yes or no answer.

Answer 2

Generally, yes it's true. But there are times when it would be better manners to say something even if it won't sound nice. If I have a friend who insults her husband very rudely all the time, I will ignore it up to a point. Then I will say in private "I don't think you should talk to your husband like that, I think you are really rude". I am not being rude, I am just letting her know that what she's doing is unacceptable. It depends on the intention- if the unkind remark is said with the intention of hurting someone then the statement is true. But if it's done out of love, to help, to advice, to guide then it's best to be honest. Parents and teachers can't say nice things to kids all the time, can they?

Answer 3

Yes, I believe the statement is true. I also think white lies are perfectly okay -- even desirable.

Did someone tell you (the questioner) that "everything and anything that comes out of my mouth should be taken as a valid point"? If so, that is amazingly, appallingly egocentric.

Answer 4

Whenever you have heard a truth that is really not a "you NEED to know this" fact ("ie: Your boyfriend is abusive and you need to face it"), most of the time you kind of wish you didn't know. For example, when you ask your husband: "Do you think I've gained some weight?," you already know you have, you just want to pretend no one has noticed. You aren't going to be happy unless he lies and than you are going to know he is lying. I think the other half of this saying should be "Don't ask, don't tell." You don't want to know what you already know to be true, so don't ask.
I try to think of it this way, if it is a small matter like: "do I look good in this?" and you don't, I try to say, "your hair looks wonderful and I don't think the shirt matches." You balance the negative with the positive, otherwise all we hear is negative, and we all have a tendency to remember the bad rather than the good. If it is really important, "Do you think I should marry Vicky?" and you really believe that it is important that they know she doesn't seem right for them, then yes, you should voice your concerns, but in a gentle, respectful manner, rather than, "Man, she is such a tramp, you are a fool to marry her." that is a *little* tactless, and intentionally worded to be cruel.

Answer 5

When dealing with friends and associates then yes I agree with the statement. For example, your best friend is wearing a dress you think looks pukeworthy but rather than tell her she looks like an ornate pumpkin you keep your mouth shut to avoid hurting her feelings.

Answer 6

I think that there is a time, place, and manner in which to say most things, and a few that should remain unsaid. It is ok to be honest when your friend asks if you like her new haircut when you don't, but don't approach a bride on her wedding day and say she looks like she got her hair stuck in a blender. If I try on something that is too tight to look good I don't want a salesperson telling me that I look fabulous, but if I had a baby three months earlier and still have some weight, I don't want to be told that I look like a heiffer. Things that should remain unsaid are comments like your pastor's new baby daughter looks like a bald Ted Kennedy.

Tact is a fine line, but it's necessary to the art of honesty.

Answer 7

If a friend asks me for my opinion then I'l give it,but not in a cruel or hurtful way. As for strangers or folk I don't know very well then I'll say nowt. Who am I to be slagging someone off so yeh,I do follow that statement pretty much.

Answer 8

Umm in some circumstances yes, its better not to say anything than something nasty, I'm always biting my tongue with my annoying housemates. But then again maybe sometimes letting your true feelings (even if they're insults) out is better, but it makes you look like a nasty person sometimes but at least you release some stress!

Answer 9

I do believe that if you have nothing nice to say then do not say anything at all. Honesty and being blatantly hurtful are two different things. You can be honest without being unkind and hateful . There are those who pride themselves on being that they should always say what's on thier mind but do not know how to be tactful about it.

Answer 10

Hmmm, sometimes when talking to my cousin about random things (weather, music, clothes, food) everything that comes out of her mouth is negative and grumpy and thats when I say to her 'IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY THEN SHUT THE **** UP'. So yeah it is good to say...especially loud!