Does calling someone Ma'am show respect for them?

Question

The other day I called someone Ma'am, and she proceded to tell me not to call her Ma'am ever again, because it is a word for the elderly and she isn't old.

Answer 1

i think it does.
She's way oversensitive and clearly has issues.

Answer 2

I cannot stand being called Ma'am by anyone. I am 27 and I feel I am much too young for that. I guess maybe because I'm from Australia, it's not usually a word we use a lot, but in my mind it certainly does conjure up images of the elderly. I find it a little patronising actually, much like we might use the term "luvvie" or "darl" over here.
I wouldn't actually ever say to the person that called me "Ma'am" that i was offended though, i'd just ignore it and realise they were trying to be polite, but did not succeed.
I think that your geographical location might determine the correct context of the word, i'm sure it is totally acceptable to call women of any age "Ma'am" in many places in America.

Answer 3

A person addressing a woman "Ma'am" is a clear indication of the person from where he comes from, that is from a very refined culture, highly educated, well disciplined and good bred family and or society. A woman who feels it as an insult rather than respect is a blatant display of her being ignorant and uncultured. However the woman in a respectful manner and honestly with out malice does not want to be addressed as "Ma'am" , is plainly wanting you to be comfortable with her as a friend or person. The addressing of "Ma'am" is disrespectful if done sarcastically to a person. In the world of professionalism, formal way to address a woman or lady is always "ma'am" that is to a teacher, consul, nurse, military officer, etc.

Answer 4

It's a regional thing to be sure. I was born and raised on the west coast and moved to the south when I was 28. First day at work my boss referred to me as ma'am and I quickly asked the other girls what I had done wrong--they were perplexed, asked me what he said to me--ma'am was the offending word--they became even more bewildered and assured me it was out of respect.

To me it sounds condescending and rude and I hate it but I tolerate it because I believed the girls when they told me it was out of respect--but it doesn't feel like respect--not by a long shot--I just want to slap anyone who calls me ma'am. Of course I don't--when in Rome do as the Romans do--so I call everyone I can Ma'am even really young gals--ha!

Answer 5

You show respect to someone on their own terms. If you show someone respect by calling them ma'am and they take offense to it, then you have failed in showing them respect. Kind of backwards, I know, but it's the way it is.

In some regions (my own included) the word "ma'am" is reserved for the elderly. It would be more respectful to refer to a woman as "miss" in these situations.

If this situation happens again, the polite thing to do would be to apologize with something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean any offense by it. Would you prefer I call you 'miss'?"

Problem solved.

Answer 6

I am relatively young, in my mid-twenties, and I was brought up to use ma'am if I am trying to get a stranger's attention or something similar. I do not mind being called ma'am, on the contrary, I hate being called "Miss." To me, "Miss" drips of condescension and all sorts of things. In the midwest and south I have not had anyone say that they are offended my "ma'am," so maybe it is a regional thing. I also think that it depends on the age of the woman in question. I find that younger women, like myself, and women in their thirties are not as offended by it, but women in their late forties and older seem to take much more offense. I, for one, would feel silly addressing a woman who is obviously over 50 as "Miss" when I am trying to get her attention at a place of business.

I know that leaves it as clear as mud, but I don't think that you should be worried about it, I doubt you meant any harm. If someone throws a hissy fit about it, apologize and say that your intention was only to get her attention and that you will keep that in mind the next time you meet her.

Answer 7

It does show respect, but for some it is a label for older people. Many people (especially women) have a sincere problem with being called ma'am because it makes them feel old. You should respect her wishes.

Answer 8

LOL! You should call her Miss. I used to call everybody sir and ma'am no matter there age when I was in customer service. I think age 18 and up should be called ma'am and under shoulde be called miss. It does show respect for them either way!!

Answer 9

in England definately, Australia...some people may mind, others not, it depends on the type of person. Ma'am isn't just for the old but it depends on what the person prefers. I call my female teachers Ma'am they dont mind even if they are around 25!!!

Answer 10

The person who said that to you was very rude... you were being respectful!

I know the term ma'am is used more often in certain areas.. perhaps she was from somewhere that it is not that common. I know I found it rather unnerving the first time someone called me ma'am not miss...

However you were right and she was wrong... but now that she's expressed her dislike for the title it would be courteous of you to refrain from applying it to her in the future.

Please don't let her rudeness discourage you from continuing to be polite to those who appreciate it :)

Answer 11

In USA, calling a woman Ma'am is totally acceptable but if you call an Australian woman Ma'am, it simply means prostitute. Watch out what you call women in different countries.