I have been with my bf for almost 3 years. We were in the same state and I asked him to move in together, he said he is not ready. So I decided to move back to where I was from originally, for financial reasons. I knew I should have broke it off then, but he wouldnt let go, and we kept seeing each other, long distance relationship.It became very difficult for me to keep this relationship, as I slowly lost friends, I felt I was married to him but never could do anything with him ( because he is not here) and because my friends are gone ( he is jealous). He kept talking about marriage, and wanting me to move there. So I told him, propose to me and I will move. He wouldnt, saying it is either the money, or we argue too much... etc.. I became so angry w him all the time, b/c he wouldnt give me what I wanted, I wanted to be with him, and by his side,but he always acted ok with the distnce. I was the only one with the urge to be 2gether. Why didnt he propose if he loves me ?
2007-03-17 20:00:52 · 10 answers · asked by Mx2 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He doesnt love you and he is selfish - Im sorry to say that but he wants YOU to do all the hard stuff - like move to him and give up your life/friends. This wont work out, you would be better to give up on it and trust destiny. You shouldnt ask a guy to propose to you, think about it, in effect you are proposing to him and he is rejecting you... he isnt worth it and Im sure you would find someone who truely does love you. Please move on, you will thank me when you meet someone less selfish and more giving. Good luck to you, wishing you a better relationship next time.
2007-03-17 20:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by gudsport 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men can you love you more than anything, but they are just not ready to be married! It is a HUGE step in a person's life and they have to think long- really long- and hard about it. I have been with my bf for almost 6 years and we are not married. We live together, we have an 18 month old son, and we love each other to death, and will be together forever, but it's just that the importance of marriage varies upon the person. I personally am not in a rush to get married, and obviously i didn't require it to move in with him or have our baby, etc. He is the same- we can love each other more than anything, but we don't need a paper to say we are married- we act like it already! we argue, pay bills, sleep in the same bed, share the same responsibilites, etc. It's like we already are! Just talk to him and see his honest views upon marriage, and why he doesn't just want to jump into it- but i'm sure it's just that he really isn't ready. If you truly wanted to be with him, and he really wanted to be with you, he'd let you move back and move in with him, marriage or not, and you'd be ok with it. If you insist on being married before doing anything, and he won't budge... then you weren't meant to be and it may be both your best interests to just move on. Good luck!! ♥
2007-03-17 20:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may hate this but the old saying is "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?"
When I read your question I thought I would take his side and say your were pushing him too fast but that's not how I felt after reading your details. If you do marry him you may spend the rest of your life waiting for him to show his true emotions. If he is going to do right by you, he would seem to need to do some growing up. But you don't have to hold his hand through it.
Get back with your friends and support system. If he comes around he will make provisions to be with you.
2007-03-17 20:10:11 · answer #3 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl. I felt like you and me had the same experience really..this dude had an ego..he knew what to say to me and how to act so that he could use me whenever...they wont let you go until they have the next victim in line these are no good men..they want to control but want no compromise...they want to be the kings and want you begging and crying for their love.. have self confidence and courage..it will be tough..i recently dumped the thing...he use to cry now he's empty..and cold...do you want to wait till your looks you in the eye with coldness...look there comes a time when your happy and he happy and that's when you gotta marry...but if that passes you enter another stage ..one that is more like family members...notice i said ehhhh but just know in the back of your head that the next guy you date has to be better and you don't see it now but soon your blindfold will be lifted..this man is just using you ..till he can no longer...DUMP HIM before he dumps you...sorry guys...but that's the truth..there are great guys ..i never lose faith
2007-03-17 20:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by hola 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, hard stuff, especially if you have been with him for 3 years. I think he likes you around for right now. If he want to propose to you he would. Find a new guy without any distance between, or least start seeing other people.
2007-03-17 20:09:55 · answer #5 · answered by Diver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as this is to deal with he may never have really loved you. I believe that he kept saying this to you so you would stay with him as you were giving him everything that he needed.
2007-03-17 20:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by toymod 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF he loved you he would have asked you to marry him. Obviously he didn't want to marry you, he didn't want to "buy the cow if he could get the milk for free".
2007-03-17 20:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me like he is playing you, sweetie. He still wants to be with you, but doesn't want to marry you. Doesn't want you to have your friends? Sounds like he is trying to manipulate you. Run. RUN away from this as fast as you can!
2007-03-17 20:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by coconutnoodle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's just hard for some guys. you just have to be blunt with some of us and make it an either or situation for us to come through.
2007-03-17 20:09:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is not interested, believe me.
2007-03-17 20:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by pbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋