In the writing center lab at my school, there's a really attractive tutor that helps students with their essays and what not. I'm not normally a shy person but around her I am - I can and literally do talk to random people on the street all the time; and no, I'm not crazy just very social. With her however, I was too shy to even talk to her. At the same time, she might be older than; she looks like she's 18 or 19 and I just turned 18 a few days ago. I finally got the courage to talk to her and asked her to join me for lunch after she's done tutoring for the day. Her reply, however, was "I have a boyfriend," but she was nice about it and was smiling. We both laughed and smiled as we said our good-byes. My real question is, do I pursue to get to know her, or is that a sign to just back off? And I really do mean get to know her, not try to steal her from her boyfriend.
2007-03-17 19:37:45 · 12 answers · asked by x3GYPxTIANx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that since you do have feelings for her, you shouldn't try to pursue it any further. She probably recognized this since she responded the way she did by letting you know she's already taken.
If she was interested in just being friends, she wouldn't have had a problem with going out to lunch with you, because if you did try something romantic, she could specify then that she wasn't interested. Or should would have stated so herself: "I have a boyfriend, but we could have lunch as friends." Being that she did not suggest that, I would think she wouldn't be interested.
I have a boyfriend myself, and I have male friends whom I have had for a long time before him. Being that I'm in a committed relationship now, I don't have an interest in making new male friends. Not that I only made male friends in the past to hook up with them. I just would want to avoid any potential problems with my boyfriend. If I happen to make a new male friend, that's perfectly fine (and would be with my boyfriend too). But I wouldn't go out of my way to make one, and she sounds like that kind of girl by giving the response that she did.
2007-03-25 18:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by anothernickname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off, unless you know she has an abusive boyfriend or something, in which case, find another fish, there are lots of fish in the sea,the one for you is just out there looking for you! Keep looking you will find her someday, noone should die alone... Good luck!
2007-03-25 18:41:34 · answer #2 · answered by TheExpert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be friends...shes taken...you dont want the responsibility for a breakup. Its funny but everyone seems to have more trouble talking with the people they really like, but its talking that even gets you anywhere..crazy.
2007-03-25 15:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on her. I know when I use my boyfriend to get out of something instead of just saying no it usually means, Sorry Never will we go out to lunch. But i dont know about just getting to know her wait see if you leave her alone for a while will she want to flirt with you
2007-03-18 02:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all you want to do is get to know her, then go for it. Men and women can be friends. Just remember not to cross the line when it comes to getting to know her as a friend.
2007-03-18 02:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by motherducky1975 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think she was being professional and does not want to get involved. If she is interested she will show interest, especially after you asked her out for lunch
2007-03-18 02:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by jules12413 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you just intend to be friends with her, then I'd say go for it. However, if hanging out with you makes her uncomfortable, then just leave her alone. She turned you down maybe because she thought you were hitting on her or something. If you come clean with her, tell her you just want to be friends, i guess that's not biggie at all.
2007-03-18 02:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by Deesa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has a boyfriend so if you want a girlfriend back off but if you want a friend go for it but i think that it would be a bit weird trying too hard as she has a boyfriend. so just don't chase her too hard.
2007-03-18 02:43:42 · answer #8 · answered by steven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bf but not married - she's still unattached. Wanna press your luck, it's your call. If you really have feelings for her, you owe it to yourself (and to her) that you at least try to see if any relationship (friendship or beyond) is at all possible. Ask her again. Good luck!
2007-03-18 02:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by Inday 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was a lie to get you to back off. What she most likely meant is "I don't date children".
2007-03-18 02:42:32 · answer #10 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋