My MIL and my daughter are constantly a nusiance asking me to watch kids and get angry when we say no. My MIL has custody of my stepson (husband was in active military before we met and he could not take care of son and biological mother has not had contact with child for seven years now) and she still likes to party. The weekends are hers as she so loudly proclaims. But my husband and I like to go out on the weekends also. She insists that we take him every weekend for her or she will go to the court system and tell them that his father is neglecting him. My husband pays child support and does spend time with his son. We have appointments sometimes during the week and on Tuesdays she likes to go to the Legion Hall to party and karaoke, demanding we give up our plans so she can get a break and get out. My daughter is over every day and brings her five boys to our little one bedroom apartment and stays and stays even after we asked her not to come over so often. What can we do?
2007-03-17 19:05:23 · 6 answers · asked by Gypsy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Gypsy, I'm just a bit confused (big duh!) about why the MIL has custody and not you? Is she a blood relative? Well, enough of the fact finding expedition... It's sad for you but good for the family that they have someone of maturity to fall back on. I too am the receiver of all grand kids, bills that can't get paid, plea's for groceries, taxi service (I used to just hand out the keys till they clobbered every vehicle they borrowed) and shoulder to cry on. They take and take but give so little if anything. I know that my situation is stable so I'm the prime target for cash, but as you implied, when is enough, enough? I haven't reached the yanking out the hair stage, but there are times that you are allowed to say "no" without excuse! Without guilt. Without repercussions of hurt feelings. I hate to put it this way, but, sometimes it's just time to take care of #1!
2007-03-22 08:29:54 · answer #1 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do a premptive strike and sue for custody. Allow her to win the lawsuit on condition she honor the visitation agreements. Or you could just win the suit since you have the stepson anyway, and you can get her to pay YOU child support.
2007-03-18 02:14:32 · answer #2 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is no respect for the fact that you say no. Maybe you need to plan all weekend plans and not be available so they are forced to find other options. Go away if you have to. Or learn to be more forceful when you say no. Make them believe it.
2007-03-18 02:12:15 · answer #3 · answered by Kay N 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
have your husband go to the lawyer and have this resolve..he is doing what he should be doing for his son..the court system can rearrange and schedule the weekends..thats your best bet..so,the conflict can be at a minimal by the court system...i think you both will have a chance...maybe other weekends....take the chance to talk to a lawyer...ok good luck :-)
2007-03-18 05:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by virgo7134 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put your foot down, set some limits, and face the consequences.
Change always comes at a cost.
2007-03-18 02:11:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lock the doors, close the curtains and dont answer the phone. Tell them that you are having 'YOU TIME".
2007-03-18 02:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋