What should I do, if I feel like my dad doesnt REALLY love me?

Question

My dad (step) has been here for me for almost 8 years.
But he has only said " I love you" a number of times, i cant even count them on two hands.
I always do everything I can for him whenever I have free time.
When he is thirsty I get him a drink, and considering what kind of mood he is in, he'll tell me he loves me.
He also plays an online game, which has taken over his life.
He doesnt realize it, but it is having negative affects on me.
He wont come play a game with his kids, becuase he has to run a quest or some bullcrap thing. he doesnt want to help out with somthing i need help with becuase he's TOO BUSY, at the moment, with his damn game.

Im so tired of giving so much with so little in return, and feeling like im unwanted, and being used.

i just want a few more minuites a day of family time, he wont even play a game on family game night becuase he has somthing else to do,

he asked me to have his last name, and i said yes.

was that the wrong way to go?

Answer 1

Taking custody of you by giving you his name is a big deal, he provides for you. He surely has a job, doesn't he? If so give him some time alone playing games, he needs to regroup every now and then.

But, if it becomes an addiction that's where your family should draw the line! Maybe he needs a wake up call. Where's mom, she has to notice right? If she doesn't say anything and you really feel hurt don't be afraid to tell him how you feel about all of it. Tell him you appreciate him and that you're not trying to make him mad and to please listen to you. If he cares he will listen, if not, he'll yell and make you feel worse.
Your solution: If you are old enough, get a job and start saving up money for when you eventually move out. Become self-sufficient and pay your bills on time so you won't have to go crying home to mom and dad. Your relationship with him will get better as you each get older, when it almost seems a little too late.

For the mean time, stop serving him, it just makes you feel more hurt and neglected.
Good luck dear!

Answer 2

Yikes. Well, first of all, some people just aren't the heart on the sleeve kind of people.

They won't say "I love you" a lot because it might make them uncomfortable. However, the way it's said also matters. Sometimes you yell "Love ya" at your friends because they picked something up for you from the mall or they helped you with your homework.

I don't know whether your dad really means it, but you should be able to tell if it's sincere or not. If it isn't then perhaps he simply isn't the kind of person to go around handing out "I love you's"

On to your other issue...everyone wants a parent around. It sucks when they're too busy to take care of you, and all because of a bloody computer game. You should let him know how you feel. Don't make yourself sound like the angel and him the devil.

Instead, just let him know you would like him around a little more.

He asked you to save his last name and you said yes. There must be a reason why you said yes. Perhaps overall you feel that he is still the father figure in your life, and he deserves it. However, if things get worse, you can always change back, but I think that this would just make him uber upset, and he might be really upset especially if he doesn't know what in the world he did wrong. So you've got to speak to him

Good luck!

Answer 3

My father passed away when I was 29 years old and I think I remember him telling me he loved one 1 in my whole life.

But there was never a time I did not know he loved me.

Try to look at him in a different way. He may love you more then life it self but just can not say those words to you. Sometimes that can be crappy on your part but it may just be the way he is.

Sometimes people show there love for others in many different ways.

Your step father may not even know that what he does, or does not do bothers you. It may help to tell him it may not.

But maybe looking at him and seeing him the way that he is and NOT the way you think he should be may help.

Answer 4

He wants you to take his last name? I think he loves you. Some men have a hard time verbalizing their affections to their kids.

As for the game just pull him aside and say Hey dad, I think this game is taking over your life. Come play with us. Be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. He loves you and will pay attention if you can get him when he is not playing the game.

Answer 5

Maybe.. he is having some sort of stress in his life right now and the game helps to get his mind off of it? I think you should tell him exactly what you just told us- that you would like quality family time together. He obviously loves you or he wouldn't have asked you to take his name. It is hard to be an adult... sometimes you just have to zone out- but I think if you told him how you felt he would understand and respect your feelings and try harder. I don't think you did the wrong thing by taking his name.

Answer 6

i think he needs 2 grow up and start acting like a dad, u should talk 2 him and tell him how u feel , cause sometimes men need 2 b riminded that their not kids anymore. or if that dont work try talking 2 ur mom or a nother adult . im sure itll all work out. he more than likly luvs u he just somehow got cought up in his on little world. good luck.

Answer 7

I would let your Dad know what you need from him. Have a specific request. Say something like Dad when I asked you to help me with... and you said not now, I felt ........ and say how that made you feel. Don't accuse him of anything, just let him know what you need from him. Let him know you miss spending time with him. You don't need to point out he's spending too much time with the game, just let him know how special he is to you.

Answer 8

wow thats really hard. have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? does he know that this hurts you? is it just you he ignores or are there other kids too? i would try talking to him or if you arent up for that write him a letter telling him how you feel. hopefully that should help. about the name thing...how do you feel about him? do you love him? do you consider him to be your father? if you do then i would take his name. if you not sure then dont. you can always change it later if things change. i was very lucky to have parents that were always available to me whenever i needed them. i hope that talking to him changes things for you. good luck.

Answer 9

I think you should talk to him or to your Mom, or both of them and let it be know how you really feel. That's very nice of him to offer you his last name but what does your real Dad think is he in the picture? If he's not then it's something you should consider. Good luck.

Answer 10

considering the way u feel yes