So i live with my older sister and her two year old son. I just moved in about 3 weeks ago after falling on hard times in my own place and she offered to let me stay with her. I am so very grateful to her, but there is something that has truly started to bug me. I do not have a job or anything right now so i just stay at home most of the time seeing as i've no car and all the people i know live on the otherside of town. But lately she has started leaving her son with me more and more oftenwhile she goes out. And she doesnt even ask me if its ok before she does it, she basically just tells me she is leaving and then leaves him with me without even asking. And it is starting to occur on a daily basis. How do i tell her that i do not want to raise her son while she is out partying without making her angry? Especially after all she has done for me. I dont want her to think i am ungrateful, but at the same time i am feeling VERY used. What should i say to her? Should i say anything at all?
2007-03-17 17:54:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is the least you can do, since she is helping you so much.
2007-03-17 17:57:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you live with anyone long enough your going to find things to complain about.
If your big sister is going to let you live with her( I'm assuming that your not paying rent or board), you owe it to her to overlook the differences that you find!
Did you think she was going to stay at home and avoid partying simply because you moved in?
You need to pay a few bills before you can say " Im getting bugged"
If you think she is abusing the situation than talk to her.
Find out what she wants and tell her what you want.
Also, find a web sight that provides education for little or nothing and look for ways to make your life and there's, better!
Once she sees you "trying" to better yourself, her respect for you will increase and she will treat you better.
You might even increase your own confidence!
You are this kids Uncle. Make a good impression!
2007-03-17 18:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, u should say something, but u better be very diplomatic. It's hard to criticize family members. U can also just tell her that u have someone coming to get u to go job hunting so she doesn't just plan on leaving her son with u.
If I were u, I would either find a job or find another place to live b/c eventually this might blow up and mess up your relationship with her. She probably just assumes you don't mind b/c u are so available. Make yourself more unavailable.
2007-03-17 18:00:23 · answer #3 · answered by TNP Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is your penance for crashing on her couch, eating her food, using her water, electricity, computer, etc., get the point?
No, I do not think it is cool that she just dumps the kid on you!
But maybe she thinks it is not cool that you sponge off her for $0 rent and feels just as used as you do. Do you really need a car for work if you can walk to places in your town? I think not.
Try to come to some common ground with your sis. Tell her how many times a week, what days, hours, etc., that you will watch your nephew, if she will count that as rent paid for the week.
Talk to her tactfully and work something out or move out altogether. You don't want to end up resenting your sister or turning a good situation/relationship bad. Family is all we really have to fall back on in this life, in case you haven't realized that's why she let you in her door, so don't abuse it and don't let her do it to you.
Good luck!
2007-03-17 18:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know just how you fell my aunt does it to me and she is also testy. i think you should just tell her[sister} I'm very very grateful i cant tell you enough how grateful i am for letting me crash in with you. but lately something has really been bugging me. i know your happy that you have an everyday free baby sitter. but the way you've just dumped [your nephew] on me isn't cool. then tell her how you feel
hopefully she will understand hoped i helped
2007-03-17 18:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wah Wah Wah... Are you paying rent? helping buy food? doing housework? This is you're way of helping out. Best you can do is get off you're lazy *** and find a job. Then help with the rent and other expenses... You really need to grow up and get a life...
2007-03-17 18:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have no job and are not contributing then you should babysit. But I would tell her only once a week where you put him to bed,also after he goes to bed any other day. She needs to be the parent after all.
2007-03-17 18:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by LUCY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep quiet and take care of her son whenever she asks
until you get a job and can afford to move out on your own.
2007-03-17 17:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are being used bro. get yourself a job, anything, and get the hell out of there. this sounds ghetto. the fact that you are asking for help shows that you, personally, are not.
rise above, man.
2007-03-17 17:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by m s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well for starts just be honest with her.. another thing would you not want him cared for correctly and with someone you trust. but you sister should have her priorities straight by now. so just sit down and talk to her.
2007-03-17 17:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by mysterious_yet_sweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋