what should i do ?

Question

I was engaged to this guy.We had been together for 2 years. I got pregnant about a year ago and i lost it.Be4 i got pregnant we were so close, but after i lost the baby we have been constantly fighting.He has been horrible to me. Well bout 2 months ago i finally ended it. I started talkin to this guy right after we spilt up.There for awhile i was having he best time of my life.He makes me really happy. well we decided to try dating.Now he has started tellin me that he wants to marry me and he wants to have kids with me, but all i can think of is my ex. I still love him more than anything in the world and i still want to b with him. I feel like i dont really have feelings for this other guy anymore i am starting to think that i only liked him bc i hadnt been happy in so long, but he is so in love with me and i have told him i was in love with him to and im not at all. i want to b with my ex. i know this is dumb askin on here but i have no1 to talk to.So just please give ur advice.

Answer 1

what you should do is be honest with him and let him know that you dont feel as he does. and that you stll have feeling
for your ex.but think about something, if your ex was a true
person he would not have put you through so much when you
were together. so may be you need to deal with what really
going on and do what is good for you. but it sound like you
need to be by your self to heal with everything. other wise
you will continue this roller coaster ride.

Answer 2

This isn't go in to make sense at first, but I remember growing up with a dad, not an unsteady unstable boyfriend that could leave any time, so give the kid a dad, that 's what everyone wants, it helps the child to grow up in a happy family, so if I were you, I would either move on or compromise with your ex, don't be selfish, either of you, a marriage is working together, it will be easier on the both of you, you don't want to learn the hard way, from the unfortunate downfalls of premarital sex, subconsciously your ex. may not have been able to take you seriously, because you gave your virginity for a brief pleasurable moment. That's what I think, but you really have to decide, I hope all goes well for you. I'm sorry if I got all preachy on you, but it hits a few unpleasant memories, basically it hits a little too close to home, Sorry! I hope things get better... Good Luck!

Answer 3

You had a miscarriage in the relationship with your ex. That has a lot of after-effects, some you might not have felt yet. Please, use reliable birth control with this new guy and with your ex if you ever get back together with him. I get the feeling you are using pregnancy to cement the relationship. It didn't work - but that is because of the miscarriage. Now, every time some guy you're dating talks about having kids with you, tell him you will discuss that after you two have exchanged marriage vows. Why are you playing at being committed instead of requiring real commitment? All you mention is 'being engaged' and someone 'wanting to marry you.' Think about what you are doing in real terms of being married - do that and commit to a relationship legally and you won't have so many problems.
Would you go through a marriage ceremony with this new guy? No. Did you go through a marriage ceremony with your ex? NO. It's like you play with the words but don't do the actual committing of your feelings and your lives together. Why did you get pregnant with someone you had been with for two years - you knew very well how to avoid pregnancy but you were both playing with the idea of commitment. That is why you fought when you lost the baby (I'm sorry that happened, no matter who's baby it was...). You no longer had that 'reason' to be together, and to talk about. I'll bet you were living together or talking about living together, too.
Please start to have some respect for yourself. Someone is going to be lucky to have you be the mother to their child but that should be because you make it a special event, one that is planned for within the legal bounds of marriage.
Had you not gotten pregnant, where would you and your ex be? I'll bet you would have stayed stuck in relationship limbo, not moving forward. The pregnancy forced you to go forward a little bit - it looked like you were going to get him to really be locked into you because of being the father of your child - but then the pregnancy ended. And so the relationship couldn't keep going either. No wonder you keep thinking about your ex. It's like you would like a second chance, not to get married but to get pregnant (and then MAYBE married if you were lucky...)

Answer 4

I think you need to be honest with your current boyfriend--to a point. You definitely need to tell him that you don't feel the same way toward him like you used to, but I think you shouldn't tell him about your feelings toward your ex. I think that would just make the situation worse, and it really isn't necessary to reveal anyway. What is important is that you don't love this guy enough to marry him for whatever reason.

However, I do not think you should get together with your ex. I know that's probably hard to hear, but in your post you mention that he started treating you badly, and you definitely do not need any more of that. I understand the strong feelings you have for him--being so close, becoming pregnant from him, and then losing the baby together--I can only imagine how that must feel. But after having gone through all of that, I think you shouldn't date, and should just focus on you, at least for awhile. Figure out what you want to do for yourself, and if you feel you need to be with someone, figure out what you need in that someone, that way you won't just be rebounding again.

I hope things work out for you!

Answer 5

maybe try talkin 2 a best friend or something. I would just tell the new guy find some1 else b/c u still have feelings for ur ex and if he don't accept that answer just break up w/him and go back out w/ur ex. Sry if this don't help. But try to say that in a nice way so u won't hurt his feelings.

Answer 6

Seems like you already know the answer .maybe the fact that he pulled away from you hurt you more than you think.. Definitely talk to your current boyfriend about this maybe you can work through it and see that you do love him .did you feel scared when he told you he wanted kids maybe you think now your happy again you might get pregnant and lose the baby and before this guy hurts you like your last one did you want to end it . i hope this helps don't think its stupid to ask this on yahoo helps your just trying to figure things out and sometimes a stranger can help i know how it feels to have no one to talk to.

Answer 7

Just to let you know you answered your own question do you feel better that you let that all out thats a long description

Answer 8

dont tell this guy how u feel about ur ex that will break his heart cuz he loves you. just be like i need sometime to myself and if he loves u hell understand.

Answer 9

LOVE gave the best answer. I can't top that!

Answer 10

leave them both alone and spend some real time with yourself