Is this wrong?

Question

Okay, this is going to seem like a very strange question, but I really don't know, so please help. My husband and I were marreid just 3 months ago, and he is now deployed to the persian Gulf. He has a personal laptop with him, and a webcam that he and I use to talk to eachother when he can. I am very careful with morality, and being a person of virtue and completely clean through Christ is very important to me. My husband and I waited until marriage for any kind of sexual relationship, and I am so incredibly glad that we did.

So, here is the question:

I know that pornography and masterbation are wrong, there is no doubt of that. I am sorry for asking this, but please understand my sincerity, I don't want to do something wrong. Is it still pornography if I...I am really sorry for asking this...but if I let my husband see me undressed, and touch myself with the webcam, it would be only him, no one else would ever see it, and it would be only to please him, not myself...

of course i realize that the sexual aspect of marriage is not the most important, but I do think that it is important, it is a way of communicating love for one another that my husband and I have saved only for eachother. It is sacred to us, and I don't want to sin, but I want to share my love with him while he is away, in a way deeper then just saying I love you, he will be gone for 13 months, I already miss him terribly and it has been only 3 weeks. Please help me.

i am really confused by the conviction not guilt statement

by the way, my husband is a physician in the military, he is trained for combat, but does not fight. He is working in a hospital for native children in the gulf....hardly a murderer. And soldiers who fight for freedom and to protect their country are not going to burn in hell, he is perhaps the most honorable man that i know, as are many other US troops. And by the way...it is not a US military policy to murder people, but i wouldn't expect the average american who is entirely ignorant and blatantly unaware of the media's intentions to understand that...it may just be too far above your level of comprehension.

Answer 1

Only God can tell you if it is a sin or not.

If you feel convicted by the Holy Spirit, then you should not do so. If you do not have the "stop", then it may be okay. IF after you do it, then you feel conviction (as opposed to guilt), then you may have erred and should ask forgiveness.

As a sidenote: I would make sure that if you do this, that it is legal to transmit the images as you would not want your hubby to be in trouble on the other side of the world.

And I would never assume that it would not be seen by others.

Answer 2

Okay, here's the thing....if it's bothering you enough that you felt the need to post a question about it on here, then I would REALLY think long and hard before doing it. Also, even if you intend it for his eyes only...once stuff if put into a computer in any way...it's out there!!! Face it, George Orwell was right, he was just off by about 15 years. Big Brother is watching all of us. I wouldn't put ANYTHING on a computer or a webcam or a cell phone camera or even a text message that I wouldn't want anybody else to find "by accident" some day. I also would not send him nude snapshots...you don't know if you can trust the people in the photo labs or not. I know it's hard to be separated from him but pray for strength. You were able to be strong before you were married...you can be strong again. FACT: Nobody ever died from a lack of sex. Ask the Lord for guidance and help.

Answer 3

The following verses apply here, I believe:

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Acts 24:16 And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and [toward] men.

God created the sexual relationship within the realm of marriage. Now what ever your husband and you do sexually is not sin, as long as it is between the two of you only and you both are comfortable with it. If you or he were to look at pornography that involved someone else, that would be sin. Sending him pictures or video of yourself across the internet would not be sinful, in my opinion, if it were for his eyes only. However it would involve others. You can be sure that someone else would intercept what you send. Because of this insecurity I would not do it. Also, if it makes you feel guilty, and you believe it is sinful, it would be a sin to you to do it anyway.

Answer 4

First, I want to tell you how proud I am of your husband and his willingness to serve and protect us.

I too am a Christian. I can't imagine how terrible it would be to be separated from my husband for 13 months. I do believe that what the two of you have agreed upon together and is just for the two of you only, is between the two of you and no one else's business.

However, I do know that phornography is addictive and could become more involved.

I would suggest above all, that you pray about your situation. God loves both of you and understands your plight. God bless.

Answer 5

Even though your intentions may be sincere, the bottom line is that you are setting yourself up for a fall. Both you and your husband will have urges that need to be met. And being away from each other means that someone else will meet them. Rather than go on with your plans, pray for strength while the two of you are away from each other. Stay involved in church, bible study, prayer, and fellowship with other Christians. I also believe that if you pray to God in all sincerity, about your dilemna, He will show you that what you are planning is probably not in the best interest of your marriage.

Answer 6

Touching yourself and your spouse is acceptable foreplay, but it really should result in the marital act of intercourse. You are pleasing yourself with the knowledge that there is no way your husband can be there to "finish the job", so to speak, so it isn't foreplay. And pleasing him through this way just brings him into sin, since the end result of this act results in a non-marital act. If you waited so long before getting married, maybe you can wait now. And marriage also requires periods of time where there is no sex because of different reasons.
You can see, I imagine, how this one act can result in other acts, even when he is there (touching yourself after birth and the 6 weeks of abstinence to prevent infection). Do you understand?
I see your point though, but you must be strong and refrain from doing this act. It would be well worth it when he gets home too. He would probably love the hell out of you.

Answer 7

I have similar convictions regarding pornography, etc. Since it is only between the two of you, then it is part of that sacred element of marriage. In my opinion, you and your husband are doing nothing wrong. Thanks to technology, you are able to do things that couples in the past could never have done...enjoy intimacy on the battle front while being 20,000 miles away. You have guts to ask this question on such an open forum...but the anonymity is a protection from embarrassment.

Answer 8

Your husband is an honorable man. Our men and women are
honorable people and because of them we have freedom.
Don't listen to the left-wing press, it's tainted.
I am a serious Christian, what happens between you and your
husband is between you. Guilt is from the adversary.
I was separated from my spouse for 18 months on one tour
and 4 months on another. We didn't have the internet, just
letters and they were HOT!!!! I do agree with katjams23
about who views the web cams, just use wisdom. For safety
purposes I would write letters.

Answer 9

Conviction comes from the heart. Guilt comes from the head. Your head is playing mind games with you over this. That is why you are feeling guilty.

Conviction would be like fooling around on your hubby and knowing it was wrong before, during and after you do it. (not saying you would fool around, but using this as the most extreme example I can think of as you obviously love your husband very much).

Praying about this will release the guilt. But, if after prayer, you feel convicted by the holy spirit, then do not do it. If you have to much guilt about doing it, then do not do so. You have the free will to be able to determine if it is the right thing to do or not by listening to the holy spirit inside of you.

Answer 10

I can understand your desire to please your husband and missing him and all, but I think I'd be cautious in doing anything like that. The fact that it would be over the internet means that if could be viewed by parties you would never want viewing you in this way.

I hope you will be reunited with your husband soon. I know God will bless you both and can give you both the strength you need to cope during this time of separation.