I have bpd and and manic depression, and I relapse very easy. problem is I have to tell my b/f everything but he never has to tell me anything when I ask him he shuts down, when I shut down it makes him made and half the time whatever I tell him is bothering me he still gets mad, like I said the wrong thing any suggestsd on how to cope and not take it personal when he lashes out
2007-03-17 17:09:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
My ex-husband has the same things. Now, I can only imagine your boyfriend does'nt want to burden you with his problems because he doesn't want to add to your problems. How I know that? I felt I couldn't talk to him about my problems because of this. And to make it even harder from your boyfriend's and my perspective, we are afraid of causing one with your problems to snap, relapse, or make it more difficult. Feel the love of someone who much rather help you than burden you with their problems. I always took it personal when my ex tries to get me to tell him what's wrong and when he tells me his. This is normal... if it involves your partner, never fails... its always taken personally. My ex and I had to go to marriage counselling for this reason.... we could not communicate without getting mad when we "open up". It is much easier to tell the counsellor how you feel right in fron t of your partner. The partner gets his turn. Everything comes out in the open and the counsellor helps to point out what the other was getting at without hurting anyone's feelings. At least everything is being brought out in the open without fear of being criticized by your partner. I know what living with someone with bipolor disorder and manic depression is like. I dealt with it for 5 years of my marriage.... unfortunately, his problems turned him to using cocaine. Whatever you do, relax and try to open the communication lines... counselling might be a good start. I had a life skills counsellor that gave us tools on how we can better communicate and make our relationship more secure and solid working with each other's problems. My problem was being hearing impaired and it got us both frustrated. it works both ways hun.
2007-03-17 17:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by bwtiger0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I am probably going to say what you don't want to hear but if there is no communication in a relationship you may need to walk away. You are very vulnerable because you said you relapse easily, the relationship you are in is not good for your recovery. There are times in our lives that we need to realise that the only person who will look after us is ourselves, and relying on another person for our happiness just does not work. Time to put you, and only you first. I am married and hate being alone, but I have had to spend many a moon on my own to get to this point.
2007-03-17 19:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by judles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your boyfriend has issues with control. He needs to know what's going on with you, but often doesn't like what he hears and then wants you to be different than you are. His withholding is another tactic of control as it keeps you in the dark and therefore makes you anxious and more vulnerable trying to please him. If you feel as though you are walking on eggshells, trying to say and do the right things to keep him calm and avoid an explosion, you really have to re-evaluate whether this is a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships involve reciprocity and mutuality and when there are issues like this it is imbalanced and one person is attempting to control the other. It isn't an even playing field.
2007-03-18 01:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by Opester 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Manic depression is the former term for bipolar disorder. I strongly suggest finding a new boyfriend; one with a more balanced outlook.
2007-03-17 18:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by CLICKHEREx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he's mad if you shut down and mad if you open up. And then you're worried about taking it personal, that he's mad.... I'd ask why he's mad. It's not your fault.
2007-03-17 17:18:21 · answer #5 · answered by unseen_force_22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea. talk with him about it. if he starts to hit you or something, defintley don't be afraid to tell the police or family/friends. and even if he doens't hit you after talking to you, if he doesn't change, break up with him. i know you asked to be nice, but truthfully....i'm sorrry.....buut he doesn't sound like a good guy to me
2007-03-17 17:18:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should find a different boyfriend !
2007-03-17 18:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by emeraldbeach243 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you not take it personal when he does this? It is personal! Don't cope....don't accept.....don't put yourself at blame... You are #1!!!
2007-03-17 17:21:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jennybobenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suggestions:
relax,
dont take things personally
express yourself
laugh
breath
stay awesome
2007-03-17 18:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by JulyBeetle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont you know that men are from mars and you from venus?
read the book
2007-03-17 17:56:11 · answer #10 · answered by Farragut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋