Do I have a right to be upset about my friend choosing to end our relationship?

Question

I was seeing a guy for about 8 months. I didn’t really want a relationship with him. I liked having him as a friend and I liked having him in my life but I didn’t really want anything more. He knew this and he often became upset by my lack of romantic interest in him. Then one day he stopped taking my calls and later he informed me that he no longer wanted me in his life because I couldn't give him what he wanted, which was to be his girlfriend. This was about three months ago, but it still bothers me. I don’t think his actions were fair. Do I have a right to be bothered?

Answer 1

You always have a "right" to your feelings. However, you do not always have the right to act on your feelings. In this case you can be hurt that all he wanted you for was a girlfriend and that you were not worth his time otherwise. However, you might ask yourself why you would want to be friends with such a low opinion of women in general and you in particular. I mean really seems his idea is that women are only good for one thing and if he isn't getting that they have no other possible function in his life. Is this really the sort of man that you want for a friend?

Answer 2

im really sorry i ll write this much, but please try to read everything, i think it might help u.
to be honest, i think he s a smart guy. sometimes, when u really love someone and u r not corresponded, u might be frustrated every single day, and u cant just stop thinking about that someone and it really hurts when that someone just wants to be friend. in my opinion, i tihnk its better off as friends, than nothing at all. however, just by reading ur question, i tried to put myself in the guy's shoes. and i wondered why he decided to end a relationship, when having a friend, is better than not having u at all? and for the same reasons... it really hurts when u really like someone and that person won't like u back, but i think, that what hurts him the most, is that if he actually keep being ur friend, he knows that he will always crave to be with u, and be obsessed with u, and not be able to do anything with u. it might lower his self steem because he might think he s not good for u, and if he s not good for u, then he s not good for others. i think u should actually talk to him, and tell him u love him as if he was ur brother, and that u will always be there for him. and that u understand that he's hurt, but u wouldnt like to end ur relationship for anything in the world. however, u would like to give each other a break, and see if he finds some1 else he really likes, and then when he gives himself enough time, u guys will get back to being the best friends as before. well good luck, and again, sorry for writing this much. try to understand him, he s really hurt knowing that u guiys wont be more than just friends.

Answer 3

You do have the right 2 be upset that someone you care about doesn't want 2 be just your friend, Likewise, he has a right 2 choose not 2 continue the friendship. Give him time and space and down the road, who knows?

Answer 4

Well, you do and you don't. You easily could have just told him you dont have a romantic feeling for him and you want to just be friends. I think he would have understood back then. But instead you kept going. That's the mistake. Because you wouldnt do anything with him, he thought you didnt want to be with him and didnt like him anymore. This annoyed him and made him do what he did. But there is a right to be mad with him because he could have been understanding and just said that he doesnt want to go out with you but also just wants to be friends. But because he didnt, I guess it doesnt matter whether it's fair or not, it matters whether it happens or doesnt and because it did happen, it's tough luck for you. If you want something changed or want to be his friend, just tell him. He might just change his mind and want to be friends with you.

Answer 5

Its understandable that you are upset, but in the long run is this not for the best? People cannot help who they find attractive and more a relationship with. If your male friend could not cope with being just friends then he would be hurting himself and in the long run maybe hurt you.
Give him time to find someone else, then when his feelings towards you change to another person you could restart the friendship.

Answer 6

Yeah of course you do. Maybe when you started to be unromantically intersted in him you should have told him straight away, but still that was not very nice of him. He might be just hurt.. If you still want him as a friend then go and see him oneday, give him no excuse not to talk to you and tell him how you feel. Good luck!

Answer 7

Why YES!!! If he cant except ur decision, then u made the better decision. Just bc u dont get what u want, doesnt mean to break off all connections. U are right to b bothered!

Answer 8

There are other fish in the sea, just try not to worry about whos right and wrong, dont taint the memories you have of him with a bad relationship remember him for th good friend he was

Answer 9

i think of you have the only right suited to be disenchanted at your friends as you have been stable friends with him till now his new woman pal got here into the photograph. stable friends will continuously stick by employing one yet another no count number what the placement is. He desires to extra appropriate supervisor your expectancies and extra appropriate talk along with her which you 2 are only friends and have been friends for a whilst. i do no longer understand why she could be jealous in case you reside in a distinctive state. She has have faith and jealousy subjects he ought to handle along with her yet he's fending off that situation along with her by employing fending off you using fact that's extra handy for him. stable friends do no longer do this.

Answer 10

No. Have you ever been in love with someone who didn't love you back? It's not a good feeling. If what this guy needs to move on is to remove you from his life, he is free to do that, and if having you in his life is causing him pain you should respect his decision.