My cousin is 13, in 8th grade.,, She wears a on of makeup, dresses sexy. Her parents split up and her Mom works 3 jobs and has no control over her. As soon as her dad left she became like this, before she was a quiet girl. The change is drastic. I'm worried about her, she hangs out with 18 year olds and 19 year olds. I think something dangerous can happen, how do i help her? She tells me shes an adult and does not look 13, its ridiculous.
2007-03-17 16:53:26 · 32 answers · asked by Jetglam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The 18 and 19 year olds are guys and she has a friend thats 18.
The father is nowhere to be found, her mother locked him out because he was screaming at them every night.
Her mother is totally broke- thats why she has 3 jobs. She does yell at her but i think it makes my cousin worse.
2007-03-17 17:06:57 · update #1
To the people saying she will get pregnant, it could happen but I have talked to her and to me shes looking for acceptance, fun, etc, None of the kids at school ever accepted her. She really thinks shes an adult.
2007-03-17 17:16:48 · update #2
I'm also worried because she came crying to me telling me how some man grabbed her in the street, she told me she told her mother and she told her "Thats what you get for dressing like that".. she also told me she tells her things like shes the tramp of the whole neighborhood... I have not told the mother i know about this but it really hurt her.
2007-03-17 17:30:23 · update #3
this reminds me of the movie "thirteen" it's about a 13 year old girl named Stacy who was happy and wholesome. But her parents split up, and both are very busy with work. She decides she want to be "cool" and starts hanging out with a girl her age who leads her in the wrong direction. She starts doing drugs, getting piercings, staying out late, stealing, cutting, skipping class, having sex, wearing inappropriate clothes, etc. The movie ends when her new "friend" betrays her by telling her mother about everything she's been doing. It's rated R. for language and the parts where she cuts herself.....but I think it would be a good movie for you two to rent and watch together. It shows what can happen if she doesn't stop what she's doing and might change her mind about the things while giving her something to relate to. Meanwhile make sure her parents know about whats going on.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cw1kGKJrs2E
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bqhY3XZ5sfk&mode=related&search=
2007-03-17 17:40:08 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well what "dangerous" thing could possibly happen? I'm sure at her age know she has common sense to stay away from danger or shady environments. Now if shes using that "meth" drug then she needs help asap.
Maybe try to spend time with her doing things she's interested in. Or just distract her or take her shopping and encourage her to get more casual clothing. Encourage her friends to come over so that she'll hang out at home. Take her on a vacation away from your town. Most of all when you earn her trust, talk with her about how you feel. Try not to make her feel any less then "adult" status aka a "little girl" since she's obviously ready for the responsiblity.
2007-03-17 17:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is VERY sad. Are the 18 and 19 year olds guys? If so, I'd have to guess that she's giving these guys what they want and lying to them about her age. If she's hanging out with that age girls, then she's not much better off, because they'll meet up with guys and the rest is history. It sounds as though she's made up her mind and honestly I worry so much about these kids, and I just get tired fighting with them, but even having said that ... don't give up. Invite her to do things with you and your friends instead. It probably won't help, but I think I'm just out of answers for this kind of situation, because these kids are so head-strong. Also, be advised that most likely alcohol and possibly drugs will be involved soon if not already. Tell her mom, too.
2007-03-17 17:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by Elle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's very little you can do.... as her cousin you really have no control over her decisions. Her mother is the only one that can really take action. All you can do is to continue you messages of warning about her actions. You may also want to try and put alternate choices in her path, see if you can get her to hang out with you instead of running off with older kids. Talk to her mom as well, its her responcibilty as a parent (no matter how many jobs she has) to take care of the child she helped create.
2007-03-17 16:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by Stupendous Man! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Become her best friend. What I mean by this is spend some bonding time. After a bit of bonding, she will feel closer to you. Then, try to find out if she is ok. She could be depressed or something. Let her know that her actions now WILL effect her in years to come. If you get close enough you just might become her role-model which might make her stop acting older. Best of luck.
Amber<3
2007-03-17 16:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call child protective services and explain the situation to them when she is out at 1 am with 18-19 yr olds.
2007-03-17 16:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am not sure where you live, or what kind of public assistance her Mom can get, but no matter what, she can't work 3 jobs and take care of her daughter....we're not superwoman. her daughter needs her mom, and she may be acting like this to get her attention (you said it was a drastic change).....a cry for help kind of thing. either way, if no one makes a change, you should just call the police. better everyone mad at you, rather than she end up dead.
2007-03-17 16:58:52 · answer #7 · answered by The French Connection 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the child welfare department or at least the local law enforcement officials. Tell her mother, tell her absent father. Tackle her and tie her up every night. Do something, because without people who care for her, she will become a statistic. Good luck.
2007-03-17 16:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about it constantly and let her know that this is serious and that you care for her and are very worried about her. It sounds like she is reaching out for someone to grab her hand and embrace her to protect her from this world. She wants to be loved and held but no one is exept those 18 and 19 year olds. Be the right person to reach out to her and save her. and most of all, Pray for her.
I hope it all works out allright. :)
2007-03-17 16:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by InlovewithJESUS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Double edge sword .. Its family my advice leave it alone ..
If it really bothers you make a phone call to .. Child protective services.. obliviously she needs Structure and her own Parents cant do it and IF her MOM is working three Jobs then that means A MINOR is being left home Alone ... Is that right Or safe?
2007-03-17 16:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by cookiemonster5150@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋