Reality check?

Question

I need a reality check. I'm 41 single mom of 3 boys living in the US. He is 22 year old college student living in Romania. We have corresponded off/on for over a year. About July our friendship online became romantic. I struggled with periods of no communication. He seemed a bit evasive at time. I travelled 4600 miles to finally meet him.
At first he rejected me and would not kiss me...said I was too old but still held my hand. We spent days together....but platonic (he's still a virgin). Lots of "I love you" but I felt hurt to discover that before he started corresponding with me there were others concurrently.
I feel insecure about the age difference and distance. I don't know whether this is real or not. Was it unrealistic to hope for more? Is it unrealistic to think that now he's met me that he will be true to me? He seems conflicted about his "attention harem" as well. Why would he first refuse me then kiss me?
He won't explain..he seems confused.

Answer 1

Im not saying this couldnt work out, because it very well could. But do you really want to spend the time and energy to make this work and then be let down? I just dont see how you could be happy with him, and thats what you really should be looking for. You have had your three boys and with that you had to be selfless, your love life is your time to be selfish. This guy would probably just take everythign you have to offer him emotionally. You need a man who can take care of you and not be so inconsistant in the relationship.

Answer 2

The reality is that a relationship with this guy is a long shot. There may just be too much between you. HOWEVER long shots do sometimes come in. More than that, you are both adults and the heart wants what the heart wants.

DO NOT be afraid to take the shot with this guy. It's better for it not to work out then to wonder "what if." But DO think with your head as well as your heart. This guy seems to have a few issues beyond age and distance. Good luck.

Answer 3

At best,this relationship will be difficult.4600 miles is way,way too many miles to expect an intimate,personal love life.The reality is the distance.One or both of you will go broke trying to gap the distance.The facts still remain.You want a hug after a hard day,can't be from him.You want to talk and snuggle,nope,not right now.The list goes on and on.Computer buddies is OK but I think a meaningful,long lasting,emotional relationship is not going to happen.I wasn't trying to mean by the way,facts are facts.Good luck!

Answer 4

He's a guy! Your attentiveness will make him more amorous but not enough to keep his attention when your away!

Distance relationships have never worked!

Especially when you have twenty years between yourselves.

Before you embarass yourself , if not worse, find a guy your own age, within a hundred miles are so of home!

Answer 5

Give him up, he seems immature and confused. People say love can conquer all, but they also say the distance is just too great. It's just one of those things. You want more and he may be trying to give you what you want, but it seems to me that he just isn't capable.

Answer 6

This is all messed up. Age differences, social differences, he's been talking with others too, he didn't like it when you pushed him. He said you're too old, and you probably are.

What the heck do you think you're doing? I know one thing... you are hurting your children, and you're gong to get hurt yourself.

Answer 7

hey your love life is worse than mine. sister! it is not true love. he is too young for you. it just seems dodgey. let it go. good luck. take care

Answer 8

Never go to a man~~Let the man come to you.
Remember that rule.